Lost and Found
by daughteralucard
Summary: Artemis had always wondered who her father was, but now that she found him she is beginning to regret it. With only the support of her two best friends, Artemis barely clings to sanity as the Joker begins to mess with her head.
1. Pandora's Box

This was inspired off of another series I had read. It is my very first Dark Night and it has that same Joker and his daughter theme but a bit different. I'm sorry if it's not great but it is my first It is the first time I have every written a fic with this kind of Joker. Wish me luck and here is Chapter 1.

CHAPTER 1

Artemis Napier was sprawled out on the bed trying to ignore the beeping of her alarm. She dreaded opening her eyes. It would be the same routine as every morning. Her and her mother Jessica would get into a fight about something that happened as far back as several years ago, they would shout, she would storm out, then go to school and refuse to talk to anyone about what was bothering her. Artemis's best friend Damian had pretty much given up on trying to get her to talk about it. He knew the two didn't get along at all, he was practically family.

Damian came walking up the steps to her room calling her name. Artemis mumbled to herself. She heard her door open and looked up at him. He had short black hair that was spiked up with white highlights, a black pinstripe shirt that had a pair of black fuzzy wings printed on the back, a pair of dark blue jeans that had rips in the knees, and a pair of black and white checkered shoes.

"Wake up, wake up, listen to the singing birds in early morning as we trudge on to another day," he said looking at his cell phone.

"What," she asked. He said a lot of weird stuff like that.

"Mean's get your ass up and moving so we can blow this popsicle stand. You're mom is bitching about you and me eating all the chips last night," he said flatly. I chuckled a bit. I then crawled out of bed and into my bathroom. "Hey, I found a place for us to live," he said through the door.

"Oh really where," I asked. We had been looking for a place to live so I could get away from my mother and Damian could get away from his drunk foster family. His mother insulted the poor guy all the time and his dad was just past out most of the time. His foster sister was the head cheerleader at their school.

"Gotham City. It's the Narrows but it's better then here."

"True that."

"Anything on finding your dad yet," he asked. Artemis just sighed.

"No," she said, "All the information on him has been deleted."

"Try police files," chuckled Damian.

"Don't even joke like that," she said coming out of the bathroom. Her long dirty blond hair was tied back in a half pony tail held up with a clip, a black shirt with a white button up over it, black jeans, and black and white converse shoes. She put on her purple pea coat and picked up her back pack. They came down stairs to see Jessica with her blond hair tied up in a messy pony tail, a pink bathrobe, a white night gown, white house shoes, and a cigarette hanging out the corner of her mouth.

"Well, well, well, look who decided to join the living. Tell me your highness what brings you among the living."

"I have to go to school mom I will see you if I come home," she said trying to ignore her.

"Dammit! Again Jack!....Artemis," she said sighing at her name. Artemis looked at her mom in shock. It was not the first time Artemis did not promise coming home but it was the first time her mom had accidentally called her by a different name, a guys name no less. "Look, whatever Artemis, I don't have time to try and keep up with you. Just be careful."

Artemis wasn't paying any attention, however, she was looking at the creepy clown on the news holding up a picture of a baby.

"I'm going to find her," he said laughing like a maniac, "I'm a man of my word." What he said next Artemis may never know. Her mother changed the channel.

"I hate the news," said Jessica. Her face had paled at the sight of him.

"Was that the Joker," asked Damian eating an apple.

"Who," asked Artemis.

"Joker, he tormented Gotham for a while but they caught him. Supposidly he has a kid out there somewhere. Poor kid, it will suck when he finds her."

"Yea, that's right! It was about a year ago wasn't it," asked Artemis remembering seeing it on the news.

"Don't you kids need to go to school or something," snapped her mom. The two exchanged looks and left. When the door shut Jessica went into a panic attack. He was back!

She ran for the phone to call up the police. Jack was back and he wanted his daughter. He wasn't going to get her if it was the last thing she would do. She picked up the phone but heard nothing. No disconnection signal, no constant beeping, nothing. She hung up the phone and slowly backed from it. She went for her car keys but they were no where to be found. She tore the house up looking for them. She slumped to her knees crying.

Jessica did not much care for Artemis, but her mother instincts where overpowering and she had to get Artemis out of danger. Sure she wasn't a great mom but she still had to rescue her before it was to late.

The sound of insane laughter rang behind her. Jessica slowly turned around and saw her biggest fear staring her right on the face, and in his hands, the car keys. He lifted them up.

"Looking for these, Doll," he asked. Jessica slowly started to scoot back as far from him as possible. He took a step closer and she started to panic. She picked up the pace and lifted herself from the floor. He chuckled with a smile on his face. It was always on his face, from ear to ear, literally. His purple pea coat, blue shirt, green vest, the material was more expensive, but the look was the same. And clown make up on his face. His lips and scars where blood red making him look more terrifying. Jessica looked around her for a weapon. She found the fire poker and lifted it aiming it at the Joker's neck. This only made him laugh harder. He grabbed the poker from her jerking it from her grip. He swung it at her hitting her square in the gut. Jessica fell to her knees coughing and trying to catch her breath.

She felt an iron grip grab her by the hair and lift her from the ground shoving her into a chair. "I'm only going to ask you once, **darling**," he hissed, "Where. Is. **My**. Daughter."

"You stay away from her," said Jessica in a shakey voice. The Joker smiled, this was going to be **fun**!

………………………………..

Artemis and Damian pulled up to the school in Damians kick ass green van! Okay it was a piece of shit, but if he actually took the time to get it fixed it would be a pretty good van. Right now it got him from A to B and that was all that was important.

"Arty, D," came the irritating voice of Damian's foster sister. Kayla was blond. There was no other way to put it, she was just blond. She had the look of perfection, some thought, and she was a total bitch, every one knew. Boys wanted her, girls wanted to be her, and they all secretly wanted her to die. Artemis pulled out a picture she had draw yesterday and showed it to Damian.

Kayla was hanging from a rope dead and it said 'here lies Kayla Stranford, she's their problem now'. Damian cracked up. "You're going to Hell, you know this right?"

"Yea, I know," said Artemis, putting on a fake smile as Kayla came bouncing over to them.

"I'm running for school president," she said as she came up to them, "isn't that just the most!"

"Oh, yea, that's great," said Damian with fake enthusiasm.

"You guys are, like, totally voting for me," she said sticking a button on them. Artemis smiled at her.

"We sure will," she said smiling at the squealing harpy. They watched as she bounced away in complete happiness. Damian and Artemis's friend Joey came over. His hair was long and brown, he had on a dark green shirt with a black long sleeve under it, and a pair of baggy black jeans and a black hoodie that seemed to drowned him.

"What was that about," he asked, removing his black hat and replacing it again.

"I just told Damian's sister I was voting for her," said Artemis.

"Dude, I thought you where voting for that one smart chick," he said with confusion dancing in his lazy red eyes.

"I am," said Artemis, "I just want to see what she will do when Mary Belle wins.

"Who is Mary Belle?"

"That one smart chick," said Damian, shaking his head.

"Oh, okay. Hey, did you guys hear that the Joker broke out of Arkham," said Joey with a big smile like it was the greatest news in the world.

"Yea," said Artemis, "right where Damian found us a place to live. I don't know why you are smiling, that's terrible news."

"Aw, dude, you found us a place!"

"Sure did, it's in the Narrows but we can afford it," said Damian.

"I'm only smiling because it's like a major slap in 5-0's face! The government let him out, man, the damned government!"

"Stop shouting," said Artemis, "you're attracting attention."

"Sorry," he said sarcastically. Artemis punched him lightly in the arm. The school bell rang for class to start.

"I got to go," said Artemis, "if I'm late for math class again I got detention, I don't have time for detention."

"What!? What do you do after school," asked Damian, "what do you have planned that you can't do detention? Nevermind, I got to get to Gym class. I'm thinking of skipping though."

"Don't do that," said Joey, "we got an assembly after first hour!"

"Why bother going? They are just going to send us to lunch after."

"So what! Come sit with me and Arty! Anyway I got to go, I have English class and I'm totally blown man! I'm sleepin!"

"Uh-huh," said Artemis, "Whatever you guy's I'm gone." She turned around and left for class.

First hour was uneventful. Joey slept in his class, Damian decided to ditch then come back for the assembly, and Artemis was off in her own little world drawing on her note paper pretending to take notes. Then second hour came. Joey, Damian, and Artemis all gathered in the back of the class with their other friends. The teacher was not there yet so they just talked to each other until the assembly. But when the intercom came on it was not the droned, monotone voice of Ms. Happy, it was a wicked and evil voice.

"Evening, Newport High School," the voice hissed with complete happiness, "we're having a little, uh, assembly. You're teachers will be joining you in the theater room. Let's all join them as we play a little game of which one of you Newport ghetto rat's is Artemis Napier!" Their came an unpleasant laughter and the intercom cut off. All eyes fell on Artemis.

……………………………

So there is your first chapter. Sorry that it was so fast pace. I wanted to get all the boring stuff out of the way first so we can get interesting. Next time: Joker will be making a special visit to Artemis's school!


	2. Cat and Mouse

Well I did not expect the reviews I got but I was happy with each and every one of them. As a response I shall respond!

Sam I am: crazy button girl? Please clarify ducky.

Azuresilver: Thanks and here is the chapter!

Flying-pensils: Yea, it's a real bitch isn't it. Sorry it took all day.

Chrisse11: Glad you think so and I hope it mounts to your criticism.

Chapter 2:

Artemis shook her head in horror. He couldn't be looking for _her_ of all people! "Artemis," said Joey, "run, we will cover for you!"

"Yea, Artemis you need to run, he might hurt, or worse, _kill_ you," said Damian.

"No, if I run he might kill the teachers," said Artemis trying to use her rational mind.

"No he won't, batman will save them," said Joey with a smile, "don't worry about here, get home and hide."

"What if he finds me there," she said with tears now in her eyes.

"He won't batman will catch him," said Joey.

"Joey and I will make sure he never finds out," assured Damian.

"Sure that's easy to say, but can you really keep it a secret? Remember what he did to those other people," said Artemis now shaking with fear. Damian and Joey looked at each other, she was right, and they knew it.

"We have to try," said Damian quietly.

"We're all going to die," screamed one girl in their class. The classroom went into a panic. Should they go to the assembly or hide? "If we hide here he will find us and kill us!"

"No Sarah," said a boy, "if we hide here we will be safe! A whole room full of people, what are the chances that he will show up?"

"Billy! What are the chances anyone is going to show up! He is going to come looking for us," said Kayla.

"Don't be stupid Kayla, why would he come looking for us," shouted Billy.

"You moron, she is right," shouted Sarah, "he is going to come looking for us!"

"Don't call me a moron, slut," shouted Billy.

"Don't call her a slut, asshole," shouted Kayla.

"Guys, this isn't going to solve our problems," said Joey, "we need to discuss this."

"No way, stoner! You're idea sucks. We can't cover for _her_! He would kill us," yelled a different girl named Valerie.

"Stay out of this Valerie," said Joey. The two really hated each other.

"Why should she stay out of it, she is part of the class," defended Kayla who happened to be Valerie's best friend.

"Guy's this is craziness," said Artemis.

"As if your one to call anyone crazy! You're probably just as nuts as your father is," snapped Billy.

"He is NOT my father and I am NOT crazy!"

"You know the more you deny it the crazier you sound!"

"Stop messing with her," said Sarah, "isn't she already going through enough!"

"She's the reason we are in this mess," said Kayla, "I say we give her over and hide here."

"No way," said Billy, "I'm on your side but we can't just give her up! I was taught better then that and I will not go against another class mate because of something she can't control!"

"Oh, what, you're going to go against her and now you're taking her side," said Sarah.

"Because what you guys are talking about is wrong! I don't care how much I don't like her I'm not throwing her to the mad dog just because of something that wasn't really her fault. It is her fault, but it's not something she did on purpose!"

"You're as crazy as she is," said Kayla.

"You're all crazy," shouted Artemis. She got up from her seat and walked to the classroom door. She was going to die, but she wasn't going out with the last memory being people argue over how it was going to play. She would have rather faced it head on anyway, at least she wouldn't look like a coward and would go out with dignity. She just hoped it wouldn't hurt to much. As she walked down the empty halls she heard the intercom come on.

"Um, excuse me students, but I believe there is and assembly and all of you are late. Because of that Ms. Happy's time here has been expired. AHAHAHAHAHA! Tell me Ms. Happy, why so searious?" All that was heard was screaming and cries of torture. Artemis felt her heart pumping in her chest. She stopped dead in her tracks. What was she thinking!?

She turned around and ran out the front doors. Outside where men dressed up in clown masks. One even had a crazy orange afro wig on. Artemis slowly backed away inside. It was either the class room where the others where fighting, or the theater where the teachers were possibly being tortured. She looked around her and saw an air vent with a chair under it. Using her brain she picked the chair up and put it on the desk it was sitting next to and climbed up to stand on the chair. She popped open the vent and lifted herself in. She crawled in and turned around. She had to find a way to get rid of the chair without it looking suspicious. She hung out of the vent and grabbed hold of the chair. She slowly moved it to the floor and, squeezing her eyes shut praying, let it go. There was a loud clanging noise and she opened her eyes.

She let go of her breath in relief and rolled back into the vent. The chair had landed on all four legs right next to the table. She put the vent back in place and laid there for a second counting her blessings. That sort of thing never happened. Her prayer was ended when she heard footsteps coming her way. She rolled over and looked down the vent at the clowns pouring into the halls. The intercoms had come back on.

"Sense non of you want to leave your class rooms, my men will collect you. Bad children, now we all get detention in the theater room. You will all remain until Artemis Napier is found. I can do this all day, can you, hmm?" It was cut off again and she watched as kids were being escorted out of the class rooms by clowns bearing guns, bats, poles, chains, and knives. Everyone was fearfully quiet as they were forced to walk to the theater.

Artemis looked around and saw that she was right next to the main office. Right next to her was the Joker sitting at Ms. Happy's desk with his feat crossed sitting on the desk. Next to him was Ms. Happy laying on the floor with her face cut up in the corners of her mouth making I look as if she had a big smile on her face while laying in a pool of her own blood.

Joker got up and walked out the door making his way ahead of the students who where to scared to even look at him. When she finally found another larger vent she crawled to it and looked through. The vent's had gotten bigger so she figured she had reached the theater room. Sure enough she was sitting right above the stage.

The Joker was bellow standing on the stage with a microphone in hand. Artemis had to be very quiet. The school was not that big and the theater wasn't either. You could hear everything in that room.

"Good morning," he said with a smile, "welcome to today's entertainment." He spread his arms out wide and a spot light showed on each of his victims. The teachers were all lined up and tined down to a chair shaking in fear. "Today we will be playing a little, uh, game. You see, I'm going to ask you a question and one of you rug rats is going to answer. Drum roll please," he said cuing for his henchmen to start playing a drum roll. Joker blind folded himself and turned around to the teachers and pointed a finger out to them. He slowly moved his hand down the line. Finally he settled on one. He walked toward them still blindfolded and stood in front of the unfortunate chosen one, Mr. Barks.

Joker removed his blind fold and laughed down at his play thing. He pulled a blade out from his pocket and walked behind Mr. Barker. "Now, first question, does Artemis Napier attend this school?" Silence, no one answered. Joker looked around the room and walked forward. He pointed at a football player with his knife. "You," he said, "surely you can tell me if she is here? No? Alright." He jumped off the stage and roamed down the first roll stopping and asking students every other person.

"Do you know her? No? How about you, do you know where I can find Artemis? Nope? You know Ms. Napier? How about you tubby?" Finally he gave up and stood back on the stage and walked up to the teacher. "Do you know?" He came down to eye level with him and put his blade on the teachers face. He closed his eyes and prayed to God while pissing himself. "I'll take that as a no." He walked back to behind the teacher and slit his throat open. Mr. Barker gave a sigh of shock but his head fell forward slowly and he started to bleed to death. Screams and pandemonium broke out. People started crying and panicking. They made a move for the door but henchmen stood between them and the way out. Two gun shots rang through the room and everyone stopped and turned around.

"Uh, return to your seats please before someone get's shot." Everyone silently did as they were told. Artemis felt her arms go weak and felt that she was about to faint. She slowly let herself down on her belly as she watched in anticipation. The Joker blind folded himself and started tapping the top of teachers heads. "Duck, duck, duck, duck, goose!" He made his decision. Mrs. Dale. She was to get married to her boyfriend next weekend. My heart sank. She was one of the few teachers that didn't call her a lost cause. Sure she slept all the time in class, sure she never did work or take notes, and sure she has been 'sick' with enough fake doctor notes to write a book, but she was still smart!

"Does Artemis Napier go to this school," asked the Joker with his knife on the teachers neck. She took a deep breath and showed no emotion on her face.

"Yes," she said.

"Good," said the Joker now petting the top of her head, "and where is she at this moment? Can you point her out from the audience?"

"I could," she said. She turned her head and looked at the Joker defiantly, "but I wont." Whispers where heard from all corners of the auditorium. The Joker looked around at the other students. He laughed wickedly and pressed the knife hard enough to make some blood seep from her peach skin. Artemis closed her eyes trying to force the tears to stay back but it was a fight she was loosing. They stung her eyes and leaked a bit in the corners of her eyes. She heard the sound of creaking and all the noise stopped. She popped open her eyes and looked down to see everyone looking up at the vent.

Artemis held her breath, she felt the metal under her give way to her weight and down she fell.

………………………

The Joker looked up at the vent. He could swear it was just making a creaking noise. Suddenly the vent gave way and fell to the ground. "Nice fucking vent installation," he snarled. He saw someone come out of the vent backwards and start to wobble around the room in a dizzy fashion. It was hilarious; she just dropped in out of nowhere. A girl from the audience stood up from her seat and pointed at the girl.

"That's her," she shouted, "that's Artemis Napier!" The Joker laughed even harder, the chances!

"You bitch," Artemis shouted. He chuckled a bit. She had nerve that's for sure.

"Um, princess," said the Joker to Artemis, "it's not nice to hide from _dear…old…dad_."

"Can we go now," shouted the girl. Joker and Artemis turned their attention to the girl.

"I'll kill you Kayla," shouted Artemis.

"Skank! You can't touch me!"

"Why not!? All the teachers are tied up, no one is going to stop me, what are _you_ going to do about it!?"

"I'll kick your ass hoebag!"

"What the fuck is a hoebag! Your fucking retarded sometimes I swear."

"Bitch that is it!" Another set of gunshots and the two girls stopped fighting.

"I think you ladies forgot what kind of situation you are in. Now, Artemis, quietly come with me and I will let your classmates and teachers go," said the Joker still holding the knife to the lovely teachers neck.

"How do I know you will let them go," she asked quietly. He just smiled and put his hand out.

"I'm a man of my** word**," he hissed. She looked down at her favorite teacher. Mrs. Dale shook her head mouthing the word 'no'. Artemis gave a sigh and took the Joker's hand. He grabbed a hold of her and stormed out of the room quickly. Artemis had to run to keep up with his long legs.

The henchmen cleared out quickly. When they where all gone, Joey and Damian quickly stood up and left the theater trying to fight past the panicking crowd. They finally squeezed out and ran to Artemis's house. They had to get to her mother.

…………………………………….

Damian and Joey arrived at the house, it looked as if the door where standing wide open. Damian started forward with Joey close behind him. They walked up the steps and into the house. The house looked ransacked. They crept to the kitchen.

"Jessica," called Joey.

"Hey, Jessica," shouted Damian, "where are you!?" They caught sight of her tied to a chair. Her eye was black, she was missing a couple fingers and a smile carved on her face. She had the words HAHA carved across her forhead. Joey fell backwards with his hand over his mouth. Damian ran for the phone but heard nothing, it was dead. He pulled out his cell phone and called the police.

…………………………..

Next time: Gordan comes all the way from Gotham and Artemis and the Joker return home.


	3. The Sewers

Okay so here is an udpate! Can't tell you how it is going to go cause I really don't know. Thank you Sam I am for your lovely update. Ahahahahha! Oh yea I forgot about that I had to go back and read it. She is a little crazy isn't she.

Anyway here is your chapter ladies and gents!

Chapter 3

Artemis was practically being dragged out the back of the school and was almost thrown into the back of a black van. The Joker jumped in behind her and the doors where shut. The van shot out of the back of the school like a bat out of hell. The driver was a terrible driver. Artemis, Joker, and one other henchmen where being thrown back and forth in the truck.

"Chuckles," snarled Joker, "_what_, may I ask, do you **think** you are **doing!**-" He didn't get to finish what he was saying though. He and the other two where thrown to the back of the van. The henchmen hit the doors first, then Artemis, then the Joker. The three struggled to climb to the front but, with the van swerving left and right with several random items as obstacles, it was really difficult. The three climbed over each other to reach the insane driver to try and save their very lives.

The Joker kicked the henchman back toward the door and struggled to catch up with Artemis, last thing he needed was for his little _princess_ to get a hold of the wheel. Artemis didn't really want to drive, though, she just wanted someone with a bit more common sense behind the wheel even if that meant giving it to the Joker. She finally reached the front and heard the Joker yelling behind her "Open the door, sweethear-_t_!" She looked back at him like he had lost his mind. He gave her the biggest smile he could manage. "Unless you _want_ us to die, hmm?" He chuckled a bit. She turned her attention back to the driver who was now trying to shove her out of the way. She reached over and opened the door.

Behind her, the Joker shot forward and shoved her over. He then pushed the driver out of the door and climbed over the seat. He grabbed the back of Artemis's coat and pulled her up into the passengers seat. He looked over at her and back at the road. She just watched him carefully. "Sorry abou**t **tha**t**, good help can be so hard for me to find." Artemis turned her attention to the road. Right ahead of them where a row of police cars trying to stop them. Artemis paled and pointed at them. She opened her mouth to speak but only a few pathetic sounding noises came out. Joker turned his attention at what she was pointing at and starting laughing like a maniac. He pushed down on the gas peddle and jumped from 80 to 100 and was speeding right into the police. Artemis ducked her head just before the impact. Joker bounced up and down in his seat with absolute delight. God he loved his work.

……………………………………..

Commissioner Jim Gordon, a man that had practically become legend among the Gotham Police Department, one of the few officers to help in the capture of the Joker the first time, one of the few who talked to batman regularly, a man with a horrible mustache and a serious caffeine addiction. He stood outside of Jessica Napier's house, stress aged his face, it was like a sick game that never ended. Except this time the Joker left no clues of his next victims. It was even more stressful then the first time he was on the loose. How in God's name had that bastard escaped!

Gordon looked over at the two teenagers who had called the police. "Can you tell me anything about Jessica Napier that could help us out," he asked.

"Yes," said the one named Damian, "he kidnapped her daughter Artemis Napier." The one named Joey just looked down at the ground and seemed to fidget a bit every time Gordon tried to talk to him. Damian was the only help Gordon had. Poor paranoid kid thought Gordon was going to arrest him right there, but Gordon had better things to do, he had a murdering clown to catch….again.

"Do you have any idea why he would kidnap her?"

"He has this weird idea that Artemis is his daughter."

"Do you know where her real father is located? We can ask him to give a DNA test and hopefully get her back." Damian now casted his eyes to the ground in silence. It was Joey this time who spoke up.

"We never learned her real father's name," he said sadly, "Jessica said he was a nobody and a criminal for the mob, said his name was of no importance and that she didn't need him or to here his name." Gordon gave a sigh of frustration.

"That's not good," he said, "are you sure there are no pictures or birth certificates or anything?"

"There are pictures, nothing with him in it, and there is a birth certificate, but his name is not on it."

The commissioner turned to an officer. "We will need to close the area off for 24 hours for survaliance, tomorrow, if we don't find anything, we need to have the area cleaned up." The officer nodded and went to do his job and Gordon turned to the two boys. "You two head on home, we will call if we find anything."

"Is she going to be okay," asked Damian. Gordon's face fell. He hated that question, there was no deffinant answer, unless they were talking about freaks like the Joker, then there was only one answer he was sure of. In this case, however, he just didn't know how to answer.

"I will call," he said. Damian could tell, though, that he was doubtful. Joey motioned to his friend for the two of them to leave for his place. Damian gave one last look toward Gordon before turning to leave.

The two walked down the street to Joey's house. There was not much about Joey to tell. His mother was lost in a car accident, his father was a workaholic but he really loved his son, he had no brothers or sisters, he was a smoker, a painter, a guitar player, a writer, he loved to draw, and he was brilliant at writing music. He was the laziest future multibillionaire in their class. He had be recognized by several universities and had even gotten a few free college rides he denied on. He didn't want a huge future, all he wanted was to sell his art, play his guitar, and smoke his weed. A simple life, that was his dream, and his father supported him all the way.

Damian had thought it was a bit strange, but who was he to judge. They walked up to Joey's room and Damian collapsed on the bed. He was tired but he couldn't sleep, he wanted so bad to find his best friend. Joey sat on the bean bag chair next to the bed and pulled out his favorite piece and turned on the radio.

"So," he said, "if you where the Joker, where would you hide? Want a hit?"

"Sure, why not," said Damian taking the pipe rightfully named Monster Dream for the color and the harsh hit, "as far as where is the Joker hiding, I would hide in a warehouse."

"Okay, why?"

"Because (cough choke cough water) think about it. Warehouses come in huge groups, especially by the ocean, there are so many to hide in how would anyone know which one you where in?"

"But wouldn't they predict something like that," asked Joey, "I would hide somewhere under their noses, like an apartment building."

"But you don't want anyone to find where you are," argued Damian, passing Monster Dream, "if you stay in an apartment what's to stop someone from following you?"

"Simple, you loose them," said Joey.

"What if you didn't know you where being followed?"

"Then it would defeat the purpose of a warehouse, wouldn't it?" Damian gave a sigh of defeat. Joey was right and it was back to square one. "What if she really _is_ his daughter," asked Joey quietly.

"I don't know," said Damian, "I don't think it would change who she was as a person would it?"

"Naw, she would still be cool with me, I wouldn't mind being seen with her in public."

"What do we do, I mean, if she is the Joker's daughter how can we still hang out with her?"

"Go with the flow," said Joey, shrugging his shoulders.

"Go with the flow?"

"Yea, man, go with the flow, don't fight what is going to be."

"What if the Joker kills us?"

"We all gotta die some time."

"What if we are forced to do something we don't want to?"

"What's life without a little excitement? Look man, just go with the flow and everything will fall into place," said Joey, answering his own question. Some how, it worked for Damian.

"Let the peace fall to chaos so we can build again," said Damian accepting Monster again.

"Exactly man, now let's get back to thinking of where to start looking for Artemis."

…………………………………………

Artemis felt the police cars hit the van. There was craziness all around. Police dodging the van, cars flying through the air, the Joker laughing like a kid jacked up on Mountain Dew. Artemis looked up and saw they were headed strait for the lake. "You, ah, might wanna take your seatbelt off," said the Joker with a look of seriousness, "you don't wanna _drowned,_ do ya?" Artemis slowly shook her head in disbelief, he can't be serious! She looked on as the lake came closer. Before she could do anything the Joker reached over and unhooked her seatbelt and they went strait into the river. She felt him grab her around the waist. "Hold your breath, doll," he said. She did as she was told and held her breath.

He kicked the front windshield in and water hit them both. He forced himself and Artemis out of the car and swam for shore. (Note: I don't know if that actually works so please for the sake of all that is good, DO NOT ATTEMPT! If you do you need to video tape it and send it to me via email cause I wanna see that shit!) The Joker picked her up and ran for a cave that had two henchmen waiting for them. He quickly ran inside and put Artemis down. He grabbed her fore arm and they ran deep into the cave.

There were all kinds of twists and turns, corners, caverns, and finally they reached the end. They walked through and Artemis noticed a sewer entrance. The one with the orange wig opened it and jumped in, Artemis was shoved in after, Joker followed, and the other two henchmen came in last.

"Where the fuck are we," demanded Artemis, disgusted by the smell of the sewers.

"Uh, we're in the sewers, sweethear-**t**," said the Joker.

"I can see that," she mumbled, "look I really think you have me confused with someone else."

"You're mother is Jessica Napier, right," he asked.

"Well yea, but-" Before she could finish, a marriage certificate was put in front of her face. Artemis took it and read it carefully. Then a copy of a birth certificate was put in front of it, stamped and approved, it was the original copy of her birth certificate only it had Jack Napier stamped across it. Then a picture was put in front of her. It was Artemis on her first tricycle. Artemis didn't know what to say so responded in the only way she knew how. With sarcasm.

"Do you carry those around with you _everywhere_ you go?"

"Just today," he responded with a chuckle. Ugh, that laugh, it sent goose bumps down her spine.

"So what do you want with me," she demanded.

"Oh, I just want our happy little family reunited," said the Joker with mock compassion. Artemis rolled her eyes.

"I would rather you just left me alone."

"Well, you aren't the grown up, I am."

"Hardly," she said before thinking. She felt a sharp pain behind her head and felt to the sewer ground. She hissed in pain in a fetal position holding the back of her head.

"You should, uh, really not talk to your dear **father** in that tone, doll," he said darkly. Artemis looked up at him, his eyes were dark and empty. She pulled her self up off the ground blinking a few times to clear the fuzziness from her vision. She was roughly shoved forward to signal for her to keep walking. It was a bit harder after the blow to the head but she managed.

………………………………………

Damian and Joey were blown away. Three bowls and a joint later they still had no conclusion. "Dude," said Joey, "I don't fuckin' know."

"Know what," asked Damian.

"I don't know if I have any food, man," he whined.

"Food? Man, we need to find out where Artemis is," said Damian, "food should be the last thing on our minds." His convictions were set but his stomach betrayed him. It growled loudly, they never did eat lunch, and he had the munchies BAD. He sighed in defeat. "Okay," he said, "quick snack and it's back to thinking about what to do. We need to be focused and need to be thinking," said Damian, "we can't waist to much time." Of course, if you have ever been high you know that memory loss is, unfortunately, a side affect, distraction is easy, and thinking is keen on anything else but what is important at the time.

They ended up tearing the kitchen upside down. They cooked anything and everything with in reach. After creating an amazing snack of bomb dot com cookies, freaking awesome vanilla ice cream, and a tall glass of strawberry chocolate milk, they decided that Dr. Tran episodes on youtube was the entertainment.

Joey suddenly came up with a great idea. "Hey man, let's invite Artemis over! She would love to hang out and smoke with us! We can give her some of the cookies we made."

"I thought Artemis got kidnapped by the Joker," said Damian.

"Oh my God!"

"What!? What happened!? What's going on!?"

"We need to save Artemis man!"

"Holy shit dude, where is she!"

"I don't know. Where haven't we looked?"

"We haven't looked. We were going to try and think up places _to_ look, remember!"

"No!"

"Dude, we haven't tried her house yet," suggested Joey.

"Why would she be at her house," asked Damian.

"Well, where else would the Joker take her?"

"Gotham maybe?"

"What if he has her in a sewer like right below us right now. What if he is hiding out there until the police go away so they can move by night to go to Gotham City where he is going to keep her somewhere secret where no one can find her?"

"Dude, slow down on the weed, your brain is fried."

………………………………

Right below Damian and Joey, the Joker had decided it was time to stop. He pushed Artemis down on the ground and order for her to stay. She was not willing to move from that spot, she had already made him mad, she didn't need him killing her or anything. She had to live long enough to be found and rescued and the best way to do that is to do what you are told.

He sat across from her and pulled out a cellphone. He put in the number and put it to his ear. "Okay, we are staying here until dark, when the sun goes down we are coming up, make **sure** you are wai-_ting_ for us, hmm?" Whoever was on the other line must have said something to make him happy because his look went from dark to evil and happy again. After hanging up he turned on the one with the orange wig.

"Wha**t** kind of _driver_ did you hire for me you moron," he shouted. The man in the orange wig just scratched the back of his head.

"My brother," he said.

"Your, uh, _brother_ had a misfortunate acciden**t**. He will no longer be joining us and neither will you." With that he took out his blade and sliced the orange wigged man until he was a bleeding mess on the ground that was almost unidentifiable.

The Joker sat back down and looked Artemis up and down. "Sorry about. that. Job security is not that great in this line of work," he said as if he was talking about laying someone off. Artemis looked around the sewer nervously.

"Are you going to kill me," she asked, barely above a whisper.

"Wha**t**? You _think_ I would go through all **that **just to kill you?"

"Yes," she said shortly.

"And to what reason?"

"I don't know, just to have something to do," she suggested. He gave another high pitched chuckle.

"I don't want to kill you. Oh no, sweethear**t**, I plan on keeping _you_ around for a long time."

…………………………………

"Look, let's just look, just to be safe," pushed Joey.

"I'm not looking for her in a sewer," said Damian.

"Oh, come on, if she isn't there you get to pick the next place," he begged.

"Fine, but let's roll a couple just in case. If she is there she is probably going to want one, and if isn't we will want one."

"Okay," said Joey. They prepared themselves with basic provisions; fruit rollups, koolaid, two joints, two flashlights, three lighters, and a couple jackets incase it was cold. They were ready!

They walked outside and lifted the nearest manhole.

……………………..

Artemis, the Joker, and the two henchmen looked up as the manhole above them started moving over. They quickly got up and out of the way to see who was coming in. A couple of teenage boys with black hoodies, a box of fruit by the foot, and a bottle of red liquid came down the stairs arguing with each other.

"Dude, it fucking stinks," said the first. Artemis felt her heart lift, she recognized that voice, it was Damian.

"Uh, ya! It's the sewers, duh," said the second boy. It was Joey! They both jumped down and turned to the others.

"What are you guys doing," asked Artemis.

"We're totally rescuing you," said Joey. The Joker acted immediately, he grabbed hold of his daughter and put a knife to her neck holding her in front.

"Yea, and we decided that if you _are_ the Joker's daughter, its all good in the hood yo," said Damian.

"Now we are going to save you from the sewer before the Joker can drag you out of here when it get's dark and put you in a van and drive you off to Gotham city," said Joey who was way to happy for the moment.

"And how," interrupted the Joker, "may I **ask** did you figure **that** out?"

"Dude! I totally called that shit," said Joey, "I so told you that was going to happen." Joey and Damian did a high five shouting YES really loud.

"Oh my God," said Artemis in a small voice, "your not?"

"We are," said Damian.

"What are we," asked Joey.

"I don't know but let's play along."

"You guys are so fucking high right now!"

"No we aren't," said Joey, now switching to panic mode.

"Yes you are, your eyes are red and swollen, you brought fruit by the foot and koolaid, you found out the Jokers get away plan, you guys are higher then a couple of kites!"

The Joker relaxed a bit, those two were no threat, they probably had no idea what was going on right now. He removed the blade from Artemis's neck and advanced on the two. They both stepped back and maneuvered around to stand next to Artemis. Joey pulled something out from behind his ear.

"Here you go," he said handing the item to Artemis, "we thought you might need this." Artemis took it and saw she was handed a joint and a lighter. She closed her eyes and prayed that when she woke up she would be in her bed. She lit the joint figuring, what the hell, and anxiously smoked it. This was so wrong, so wrong it was actually….kind of funny. She started giggling to herself and fought the urge to burst out laughing. It was kind of hard though.

The Joker wasn't sure what to think. But before he could say anything he heard voices from up top. He quickly climbed up and shut the manhole. Oh well, two more passengers, the more the merrier.

"Um, we kind of where not planning on staying,' said Joey. He took a step forward but the Joker turned around and stuck him in the side with a blade. Joey fell to the ground with his hand over the wound. The only thing going threw his mind was it was a good thing he was high or that would have hurt a lot more.

Artemis and Damian both bent down to help him. Artemis ripped a piece of Joey's shirt and tried to stop the bleeding. Damian applied pressure to the wound to help.

"Now," said the Joker, "let's all sit **tight** and wait for nightfall, hmm?"

They exchanged looks, they didn't have any choice in the matter. Joey needed help and the sewer was the worst place to look for it.

………………………………………………

Next time: The Joker takes them on a joy ride and leaves Joey and Damian in the middle of the Narrows.


	4. Might as Well Settle

Okay sorry I didn't update yesterday but I'm updating today. I can't promise it will be long because I have to go to work but here is what I got today. I promise to make tomorrows longer….if I remember….I'm high so yea! By now you should not expect this go how I say it does in the review but I would just like to point out that when I actually get to typing the story I come up with ideas that just sound better.

Flying-pencils: oh the joys of living!

SAm-I-am: my apologies for the name mistype

Chapter 4

They sat in silence. Artemis looked around the sewer as if she had just arrived then and not 20 minutes ago. She had finished her joint and it had grown quiet after the Joker closed the manhole. Artemis rocked herself back and forth. Her mother had to be so worried right now. It was close to nightfall now and she still wasn't home!

The Joker sat twitling (sp?) his thumbs in boredom. He didn't like being bored, he would normally go find something to do or kill but right now there _was_ nothing. He _could _kill one of Artemis's friends, who was going to stop him. He could take the tall one with shorter hair and twist his arm until it broke. Maybe the bones would pop out. He wasn't a squealer though, the stoner was! He would take him to a warehouse and cut his toes off one by one. Maybe he would do the little piggy rhyme after cutting each toe off. Joker softly chuckled to himself.

Joey shivered at the soft laugh, maybe this was a bad idea. He rocked his foot anxiously, he forgot his stash, he brought everything but more weed. He should have prepared for something like this, now he would have to face the Joker sober! He damned himself for not thinking about that. They should have brought more fruit rollups to! Dammit the koolaid was gone now! That's right, cottonmouth….

Damian bounced his leg in worry. How was he going to tell Artemis that the Joker killed Jessica. This was bad, she had no idea that her mother was dead. He glanced over at the Joker and to Artemis, he could actually see the resemblance. Yes Artemis looked mostly like her mom but the Joker was definitely there. Her chocolate eyes and dirty blond hair and her nose. She had long legs like his to, not as long, but they would get their, she would probably be about his height. Damian was just happy that he was already a little taller then the Joker. At least she wouldn't be taller then him. She might be about Joey's height though. Joey already stunted his growth from all the partying he does. Alcohol especially, does weed stunt your growth? Probably. Poor Joey. Damian hated the feeling of being short, it's why it was so perfect that the other two where shorter.

Artemis couldn't take it anymore, she had to say something, no one else was going to. She said the only thing that came to mind. "Can we get out of here now," it came out more as a whine but at least it wasn't quiet anymore.

"Holy shit, dude, I was just thinking the same thing," said Joey.

"No way me to," said Damian in shock, "we must be, like, in sync right now."

"Man, shut up, your just high," said Artemis.

"Look at the pot calling the kettle black," laughed Damian.

"Dude, if pot's black I wont touch it, green for me, man," said Joey. Damian and Artemis busted out laughing.

"You're so fucking stupid man," said Artemis.

The Joker looked back and forth watching them talk. A smile crept up his face. Friends where weapons, and Artemis was loading him up for leverage. They where kind of dumb to, it would be fun to find out if they would act any different if they were in _real_ danger.

"So when are we getting out of here," said Joey, "if your going to get away by van then let's go, get out of the sucky sewers, blow this popsicle stand."

"We aren'**t** going anywhere until night fall," he said.

"I don't know what your thinking," said Artemis, "but I'm not going anywhere with _you_. I'm going with Damian and Joey." The Joker chuckled at her.

"Well then, how convenient that they are coming with me," he said with a wicked smile.

"Whoa, man, I don't want to go anywhere with you either," said Damian.

"Yea, I would really rather go home and not die," said Joey in a very relaxed fashion.

"Hahahaha sorry kids but you _don't_ get a choice."

"Oh fuck, we are all going to get killed in that van and they are going to dump us into a river," said Joey now sitting up.

"Dude, Jimmy sleeps with the fishes, yo," said Damian growing very scared now that he was thinking about it.

"Who _is_ Jimmy," asked Artemis, "who was the poor fool to actually go to sleep with fish?"

Then out of no where the Joker stood up and pulled out his knife. "Get up, get up, get up," he said motioning for them to stand as he walked toward the manhole. Everyone got up, they didn't really want that blade stuck in them. The Joker climbed up the seven rails and opened up the manhole and peered out. Standing by was the van and a henchman with a gun. The Joker jumped down and motioned for them all to go first. The three teens went up, then the Joker, then the two henchmen. The now three henchmen stood around them as they walked toward the van and got in the back.

The ride was a bit smoother but anxiety hung in the air stronger. Damian suddenly had a thought come to his head that had a year ago. He tapped Joey and then Artemis. They both turned their heads and leaned toward them. The Joker watched as the three spoke to each other.

"If you had one last question to ask before you died, what would it be," asked Damian.

"What," asked Joey.

"If you had one last question, what would it be, come on man we are about to die so we might as well ask."

"What are you talking about," asked Artemis.

"A year ago a teacher asked us if we where going to die and we had one last question to ask anyone in the world, what would it be and who would it be for." The three swung their heads in the Joker's direction. He eyed each of them with curiosity. Joey sat up strait and looked Joker dead in the eye. Joker's glaze hung on him. What was all this business about a question?

"Joker," said Joey, stammering a bit, "I-I gotta ask, a y-y-year ago when you started getting the news attention you, you, robbed a mob bank. The news said that it looked as if you had planned it down at every corner and got away, how did you do it man!?" He had regained his curage at the last sentence when the Joker started smiling at him. He knew exactly what Joey was talking about. Ah he remembered that day well but he wasn't going to just give the answer to him.

Joey was now getting excited and put motions to his words. "How did you plan that whole thing out and make sure everything goes exactly to plan?"

"Sorry kid, but, uh, a magician never reveals his tricks," replied the Joker, he might tell him later anyways but he wanted to jerk the kids chain a little.

"Come on man. There is one thing I want to know before I died and the only one who can answer it is you." The Joker just laughed a bit, the kid thought he was going to kill him. Artemis was not quiet as excited when she spoke.

"I have a question. Did you even plan any of it or did you just do?" The Joker pointed at her with a smile.

"I think you understand my thinking better then you let on, sweethear-**t**."

"So, like, non of it was planned," asked Damian leaning in.

"Well bits are parts where. Like finding out where the vault we needed to know first, after that, uh, it was just all last minute," he said.

"That's nuts," said Joey.

"I think _he's_ a little nuts," mumbled Damian. Wrong thing to say. The Joker jumped up and got in Damian's face with a knife. His eyes were dark and dead.

"I'm not..I'm not crazy…I'm** not** crazy," he said. He breathed heavily on Damian's face. Damian tried to shrink away from his foul breath. He was seriously about to piss himself with fear.

"I-I'm sorry," he said with a shaky voice. He was about half way off the seat but the Joker was not letting him lean down any farther. The Joker stared at him for a long time.

"Do you want to know how I got my scars," he asked now having a hold of Damian's face with the knife a bit to close to Damian's mouth for comfort. "Oh, I know you're _dying_ to find out." The Joker was getting excited now. "You see I had a friend, like you, who liked to run his mouth, **a lot**. One day he ran his mouth just a little to much to my father who was a drinker. Well when my friend left he put the blade to my mouth, like this, and told me that I should have friends who know how to _respect_ him. And…." Damian squeezed his eyes shut. The blade was now in the corner of his mouth and he tried to ready himself for what was coming up. But nothing happened. He felt the Joker let go of him and take the knife out of his mouth. Damian opened his eyes and saw the Joker sit back down in his seat giving him a dark look. He gave a breath of relief. He watched as the Joker threw the knife from one hand to the other. Yup, the guy was nuts alright.

"Are you okay," asked Joey nervously.

"I think I just pissed myself," said Damian quietly. The Joker started laughing, these kids were to much. The van stopped. Joker licked his lips and stood up. The doors opened and he motioned for them to get out. Damian was the first to shoot out and get some space between him and the Joker. Then came Joey and Artemis. They jumped out and saw they were in the Narrows, they could tell because it was ghetto, really ghetto, was that homeless man pissing through someone's window?

"Um, I'm kinda leave you kids here by yourselves, I suggest you find somewhere to go because this neighbor hood is a little dangerous. I'll see you later if you leave," he said laughing furiously and shutting the door.

"That's a nice surprise," said Joey, "and look, we're in the ghetto, we got a place here didn't we. Plus someone's bound to be selling weed at this time of night here!"

"Hey, you're right," said Damian, "don't you still have that joint?"

"Yea man, but my weed is wearing off."

"Let's go see if we can find where we live now and then worry about weed," said Artemis, "It wont do us any good if we don't have a place to get off the streets." They walked to a cabman and had him drive them to their apartment. They paid the cabman and turned around to see their building. It was a big red brick building with three stories, at least they wont have to many neighbors. They walked in and called up the landlord.

"Hey, we need to move in tonight," said Damian, "shit went down and….yea…I imagine…alright man cool we'll wait right here." Damian hung up the phone and turned to the others. "Hey he said this kinda thing happens all the time and he is getting out of bed now to come open the door and let us in the new apartment."

"That's awful nice of him," said Artemis a little suspicious.

"Yea man, the chances, I'm going to go look for some weed," said Joey.

"Dude, right now in _this_ place?" Joey pulled out a butterfly knife.

"Gotta be prepared," he said.

"You mean to tell me," said Damian, "that you have had that knife all night and you chose now to pull it out?! What about when we were prisoners for the Joker, you couldn't pull it out then!?"

"Dude, I wasn't going to get in a knife fight with the Joker," said Joey.

"Not to mention all the henchmen had guns," said Artemis.

"Oh yea, forgot," said Damian sitting down. He was in no condition to think right now. Joey pulled out another butterfly knife and threw it toward Artemis and a large red knife he gave to Damian. "You guys keep those, you never know when you will need it."

"I don't know how to use a _knife_," said Artemis.

"When the time comes you will know, trust me. Besides, you're the Joker's daughter, right? Live up to it hun," he said walking away.

"No I'm not," she shouted after him. She then plopped down next to Damian. She didn't want to admit it but he had all the proof right there. The only thing missing was a DNA test. Then again, he could still not be. Her mom was a bit of a slut after all. Damian shook his head, he felt bad for her for being so far in denial about it. Almost as if reader her mind he said, "you look a lot like him." Artemis punched him in the arm and turned her attention toward the street.

"How long can it take for him to open the stupid door," she snapped.

"I don't know," he said.

After two hours Joey came back with a big smile on his face. "Dude, our neighbor sells this shit! So does the guy down the street and this cute hippy chick just across the street over their. He hasn't opened the door yet?"

"No," grumbled Damian.

"Well, I'm smokin' this other joint. You guys joinin?"

"Sure," said Artemis.

"It's been that kind of night," said Damian.

………………………………..

The Joker sat in his chair coloring on batman's picture in the news paper. He wasn't planning on leaving them out in the middle of the Narrows but that Damian kid was about to get himself killed. The Joker had plans for them and they would not be very helpful dead. He stretched himself and got up, he had found out that they had already gotten an apartment in that neighborhood. If they were smart they went to find it. He would have to drop by tomorrow after they left.

…………………………………

Daybreak fell and the door opened. The three stood up to see the landlord. All gave him angry looks. "Well," said the landlord, "beggars can't be choosers." He was tall, had short light brown hair, bright blue eyes, a black shirt with a white elaborately drawn crow and black pajama bottoms. There was just no way this guy was the landlord, he was their age.

He saw their stare go from anger to disbelief. "Sorry about that, after my dad hung up the phone he fell back to sleep. He really meant to open the door but he had not slept well in the last few weeks and he worked pretty hard today. He wasn't being rude he is just really tired. H would have come out but he had to head out to one of his other buildings for a plumbing emergency."

"Well that's incredibly inconvenient," said Artemis now licking her lips.

"Come on inside." He showed them up the stairs to the apartment room. "It's already furnished, has three rooms, a kitchen with a breakfast bar, a livingroom/dining room, and two bathrooms. We had to get a little creative with the space so you don't actually have a dinning room but I'm sure you guys aren't interested in eating at the table."

"Not really," said Joey. He walked across the livingroom and opened the door next to the tv, it was a closet, a really small closet, but a closet. Artemis walked through the door in the kitchen and found a room with a bed, a dresser, a desk, and a small closet.

Damian found a room on the other end of the livingroom and Joey found one next to the closet. It was a really small space but it would do.

"Dad says you can hold off on rent until you guys get jobs out here. Um, you can have pets but you have to make sure they don't leave any smells when you move out. Please clean out the carpet and furniture. As you know it's all bills paid and we have food we can lend you guys and other stuff, you probably want to shower and sleep."

"Thanks," said Artemis, "we really appreciate it."

"Hey, we will pay you guys back," said Damian.

"Yea, man, oh and are you cool," asked the ever paranoid Joey. The landlord's son just laughed.

"Please, this is the Narrows, as long as you don't murder anyone or bring any bodies home it's fine. We aren't responsible for what happens in this room. I'm Jesse James by the way, and yes I was named after the cowboy."

"He read my mind," whispered Joey. Damian just laughed at him stupidly.

"I'm gonna go get you guys some food and towels and soap and all that. Ms. If you need anything from my mom just ask I'm sure she will help."

"Oh," said Artemis blushing, "th-thankyou." He laughed a bit nervously and left. He walked down the hall with his head up in the clouds. Never had he seen anything more beautiful. Sure there were pretty girls in the Narrows but most of them ended up being whores and what not. He wasn't all that keen on most of them, they scared him a little, but something about _that_ girl, she was different.

He suddenly stopped, they were all his age, what where they going to do about school? He turned back around and headed back to their door. He knocked on it and the girl answered. "Hey," he said nervously, "I was wondering what you guys were going to do about school?"

"Uh, not sure," she said laughing nervously, "does your school do home schooling?"

"Yea but you will need a computer."

"We can save up for a computer," she said with a polite smile. "I'm Artemis by the way."

"Oh, I'm Jesse James," he said stupidly. She chuckled at him, something about that laugh sent chills down his spine in a delightful way.

"I know you told me. That's Joey by the way and Damian."

"Oh, well I have to go, I have stuff to do. You know." She nodded her head.

"Yea," she said, "stuff I know, I got stuff to do to."

"Yea, stuff, me to."

"You told me already," she said laughing a bit.

"Well it was nice to meet you guys, maybe we will see each other around."

"Yea definitely."

"I mean, we live in the same building right," he said fidgeting.

"I guess we do," she resonded.

"Like the laundry room, do you want me to show you the laundry room, I totally would."

"Another day, right now I'm kinda tired, all the drama that went down and all."

"What happened."

"Ugh, life, you know how it is."

"Kinda rough I know."

"You have no idea."

"Well, I gotta go do that stuff I was talking about."

"Me to, I'll see you around."

"Up, around the building." Artemis nodded and they stood their in silence for a bit.

"By," he said finally turning to leave, "it was nice to meet you Artemis."

"Arty," she said, "you can call me Arty."

"You can call me Jesse," he said, "everyone calls me Jesse." Artemis nodded and closed the door. He mentally kicked himself and called himself stupid walking away.

Artemis shook her head in confusion, what just happened? She looked up to see the boys looking at her funny.

"What," she asked. Damian and Joey started laughing stupidly at her.

"Dude, your in love," said Joey.

"I am not."

"You were so flirting with him. Telling him you wanted to see the laundry room another time then saying you had 'stuff' to do. Tell me, what 'stuff' do you have to do?"

"Uh, find a job," she said, rolling her eyes.

"And do some laundry," asked Damian mocking her.

"I don't have any laundry right now to do. We didn't pack anything and the only thing _you_ stoners picked up was candy and juice. We need to get cloths to wear so we can take showers and get some sleep."

"Ooo, avoiding the fact that you don't want to do laundry, you just wanna do the nasty with the landlord's son." Artemis rolled her eyes and walked toward the coffee table grabbing the key to the room. Damian and Joey where doing obscene sex gestures behind her. When she turned around they stopped but she knew what they were doing.

………………………….

The Joker watched them all leave and crept out of the van. He had on a coat and a hat. He had his scars covered up so no one would know who he was. He walked up to the building and knocked on the door. Jesse James opened it and saw the Joker.

"Who are you," he asked.

"I'm Artemis Napier's father. I wanted to drop something off to her."

"Oh, sorry sir, I didn't know. I think they just left though."

"I know they know I am here." Jesse James let the Joker in and showed him to their room. He opened it with the spare key and let the Joker in. Joker walked in and turned around.

"Sir," said Jesse, "I think they went out to get something to wear, something happened last night and they ended up moving in faster then they planned."

"I, uh, wouldn't worry about them if I where The Joker watched them all leave and crept out of the van. He had on a coat and a hat. He had his scars covered up so no one would know who he was. He walked up to the building and knocked on the door. Jesse James opened it and saw the Joker.

"Who are you," he asked.

"I'm Artemis Napier's father. I wanted to drop something off to her."

"Oh, sorry sir, I didn't know. I think they just left though."

"I know they know I am here." Jesse James let the Joker in and showed him to their room. He opened it with the spare key and let the Joker in. Joker walked in and turned around.

"Sir," said Jesse, "I think they went out to get something to wear, something happened last night and they ended up moving in faster then they planned."

"I, uh, wouldn't worry about them if I where _you_."

"Sir?" The Joker spread his arms out dramatically.

"What can I say, life happens." Jesse gave a nervous chuckle. This guy gave him the creeps.

"Yea, that's what she said. I guess I will leave you." Jesse turned around and left. The Joker looked around the small apartment.

……………………

Damian, Joey, and Artemis left the cloths store with bags of cloths. "I don't understand why we don't just go home," said Damian.

"What would be the point," asked Artemis, "we go home the Joker will find us, we stay here the Joker will find us, besides we were going to move out here anyway."

"But we're only 16," said Joey.

"Yea, but as long as we have my grandmothers trust fund and are careful with it I'm sure we will be fine until we can get real jobs."

"It's not legal to live on your own when your 16," said Joey.

"Joey," said Damian, "I really don't want to here you talk about what is legal and what isn't. We are here now, we have no reason to go home, there is nothing there."

"Except my bitchy ass mother," said Artemis.

"Um, Arty, about that," said Damian.

"Hey, look, the pawn shop is hiring," said Artemis pointing at the sign, "oh, I'm sorry, where you saying something?"

"Nothing important," said Damian. He sighed and followed her. Joey shook his head, they had to tell her some time. They walked in and saw a man behind the counter.

"Hey, how old do you have to be to work here," asked Artemis.

"Ma'am, can you lift 10 pounds?"

"Yes," she said.

"Then your old enough for the job. Any job experience?"

"I worked at a feed store," said Damian.

"I worked for FedEx," said Artemis.

"I worked for a place that required me to lift stuff," said Joey.

"You kids have bullshit stories, your obviously under 18, and I'm in need of some new workers. You're hired."

"Wait, really," said Joey a bit shocked.

"Yea, really, you start tomorrow."

"But, wait, what," jabbered Artemis.

"Look, we get a lot of stolen merchandise here, most of the employees are paid under the table anyway. I'm offering you guys jobs, do you want it or what?"

"How do we know this isn't a trick," said Joey.

"Uh, Joey," said Artemis, "he is wearing a name tag."

"Yea, man," said Damian, "it says his name is George and he is the general manager."

"Oh."

……………………………………

They got back home after a busy and successful day and decided it was time to shower and sleep. When they walked in the door Jesse came up to them. "Hey guys," he said. They waved at him in response. "Artemis, your dad stopped by said he left something for you."

"Really," she asked suspiciously.

"Yea, I haven't been up their so I don't know if he is still there nor not."

"Thanks," said Damian walking ahead of the group. Artemis and Joey both followed. When they got to their door they all pulled their knives out. Damian kicked the door open and poked his head in. No one was their. The only thing in the room was a card taped to the TV. Artemis walked passed him and picked it up and read it. She rolled her eyes.

"It says 'Welcome home sweetheart, love daddy'."

"Wow, he found you quick," said Joey.

"Yes, yes he did," said Artemis, throwing it on the coffee table and walking off to the bathroom.

…………………………..

Okay I'm off wish me luck!


	5. And the nightmare began

Alrighty then! We got another update! I'm sorry it took so long but here it is. Warning this chapter is not quite as humorous as the others. Things start getting dangerous, but don't worry, the humor shall continue!

SAm-I-am: Meet the Fockers is on TV.

Chapter 5

Artemis sat up in bed. She looked around the room, forgetting where she was for a moment, then the memory of yesterday flooded back to her. In her misery she crawled out of bed and looked at the clock, 12:30 pm. Her first day at work wouldn't start for another 2 and a half hours. She got up and walked to her closet. Today she chose a green top with sleeves that hung loosely and a pair of black pants. She threw on some socks and her green converse shoes.

She slowly walked out the room and saw a note on the refrigerator addressed to her. She saw the letters in her name where written chaotically yet almost artistically. She furrowed her brows and walked over to it. This wasn't Damian or Joey's writing. She opened it and saw it was a letter with a Joker card.

_Dearest Artemis,_

_Just wanted you to know that I will be seeing you _very_ soon. Don't go anywhere sweetheart I don't like waiting._

Artemis threw the note away and threw the card next to the other one. She rolled her eyes and walked to refrigerator. She pulled out some breakfast and juice. Then she got up and grabbed her deep purple pea coat. She had other things to do then wait around for the Joker all day.

……………………………

Joker arrived at the apartment at 4pm. He kicked the door in and came in dancing a bit. "Hellooo," he said hauntingly, "anyone home?" A door opened slowly and Joker smiled, aw she waited for him. Nope, it was just the one named Joey. He sighed in irritation, he told her not to go anywhere, well he would have to fix this problem before it got worse.

He watched as the boy acted as if he wasn't even there. He stood in one place for a long moment before Joey finally spoke.

"Hey, man, do you know if we have any food here," he asked. The Joker chuckled a bit. "Wait, what are _you_ doing here?"

"I thought you would never ask," said the Joker laughing, "I'm looking for Artemis, have you seen her, hmm?"

"Well, it's 4pm, she is probably starting her first day at work. I just finished mine an hour ago so, yea. If you want her you will have to go find her." The Joker took a step forward. Joey took one back. He didn't want the Joker to know that he was scared but was failing miserably. The Joker's grinned even wider and pulled the knife out of his purple coat pocket. "Well," he said menacingly, "I guess I will, uh, start with you then."

"Start what," asked Joey nervously. The Joker took another step forward and Joey ran for it. The Joker was quick though, he grabbed Joey's shirt and pulled him back, throwing him to the floor and sticking the knife in his foot. Joey gave out a loud scream. He couldn't move.

Joker came forward and slowly and painfully pulled the knife out. Joey clenched his eyes shut in pain. He didn't make a sound though. When the Joker finally got it out Joey jumped on his good foot and ran for the kitchen knife. Joker took his hand and slammed it into the counter before Joey let go. Joey had an idea and went for it. He knocked the Joker in the nuts, punched him in the nose, and ran for the front door. The Joker held onto his nose for a moment before pursuing him as if he were pray.

Joey soared down the stares to the basement, it seemed to be the laundry room. He went to a corner and jumped behind two washers hiding for dear life. Joker came in singing, "Oh, Joey, Joey boy, where did you go," he said while laughing wickedly. Joey didn't so much as breath. He watched the Joker walk around the room for a bit before he started opening the larger dryers and looking behind corners. He walked up to Joey's corner and looked down. Joey looked up and saw the evil smile brighten at the sight of him. Joey shoved himself up aiming to hit the Joker with his head. The Joker expected this and grabbed a hold of him by the hair and drug him out from the corner. Joey struggled to get away but to no avail.

The Joker grabbed him by the arms and shook him violently telling him to stop. Joey obeyed the cold nasally voice. He was violently shaking now and feeling a bit nauseated. "Good boy," said the Joker, "now go to sleep." With that there was a sharp pain and Joey's world went black.

…………………………….

Joker threw a bucket of water on Joey's head waking him up. Joey looked around the black room in shock. His hands were tied behind his back. He tried moving them but the rope cut into his wrists. "What do you want," he asked angrily.

The Joker had a look of surprise on his face, Joey could tell he wasn't really surprised, he was just humoring himself. "Why, I just want you to know that you are welcome in my family anytime." With that he ducked Joey's head in another bucket of water and held it there until bubbles came up. He pulled Joey's head back up and Joey choked violently. When he finally caught his breath he felt his head go up again and quickly held his breath, he was ready this time, what he didn't expect was the Joker had held his head under even longer.

Finally after five or six times Joey was ready to crack with any and all information he had. "The remote is under the couch, I'm sorry I just love Comedy Central so much!" Under again. "I was the one that put the frog in the teachers desk, I didn't know she was allergic to scales!" Under again. "I set my grandma's house on fire, she is just so hateful to me!" Finally the Joker stopped. Joey was close to tears, he couldn't take anymore. He continued to spill out all of his deepest secrets of things he had done but lied about. Dad's broken car window, mom's missing engagement ring he stole and gave to another girl, Artemis's missing belt he had accidentally broke in half and it was her favorite belt, anything and everything until finally the Joker had had enough. This was turning into torture for himself.

"My dad doesn't understand me," cried Joey, "he doesn't understand my teen angst and that I hate that he works all the time."

"Alright, uh, that's **enough**," he growled. He knocked Joey out again and watched him for a moment. The Joker liked him better unconscious, but he couldn't continue doing that he would eventually make him brain damaged. He needed him to crack, not go retarded.

………………………..

Damian came home around 6pm. He walked in singing along to his ipod and dancing.

_Say a colt 45 and  
two zig zags  
baby thats all we need  
we can go to the bar  
count the dawgs  
smoke that tumble weed  
as the marijuana burn  
we can take our turn  
singin' them dirty rap songs  
stop and hit the bong  
like Cheech and Chong  
say it takes from here to Hong Kong  
so Roll roll roll my joint  
pick out the seeds and stilfs  
feelin' high as hell  
flyin' through Pondale  
skatin' on beggin' riffs  
so roll roll the 83'  
cadillac coup de ville  
if my tapes and my cd's just don't sell  
i bet my caddy will_

His amazing singing was put on halt when he caught sight of Joey. He was sitting in a corner rocking back and forth with a pipe in his hand. Damian slowly walked over to him. "Joey," he said slowly, "are you okay man?" Joey just shook his head. "What happened buddy?"

"Water was so cold," he said. He was soaking wet. Damian went to go get a towel and helped his friend dry off.

"Okay, slow down, take a deep breath," he said. Suddenly Joey burst out in tears. Damian was shocked, in all the years the two had known each other this was the very first time he had ever seen Joey cry. He took a lot, a lot more then he should, but he did.

"We shouldn't have gone to get her," he mumbled, "it sounds like I'm a bad friend and I feel terrible for it but we should have left it to the police. He got me man, he got me! He is coming for Artemis and probably you next." Damian took the card clipped to Joey's shirt. It was another Joker card. He threw it on the table next to the other two. Three cards in less then 24 hours. Damian got up to go get Joey a drink of water but when he turned on the sink Joey started freaking out.

"No, stop it, stop the fucking water! NO MORE WATER PLEASE!" Damian was so shocked he dropped it on the floor. Joey watched as the glass shattered and the water spilled on the floor everywhere. He suddenly off in another world. Damian crept back toward Joey and watched him stare off into space.

Joey was brought back to when the Joker woke him and they were back in the apartment.

"_Just remember," said the Joker, "whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you stranger." He laughed and turned to leave. Before doing so he turned to the sink and turned it on so the water would just drip out of the head of it. Joey watched it closely as the words danced in his head. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stranger._

Damian waved his hand in Joeys face. Joey suddenly got his reflexes back as he grabbed a hold of Damian's hand and held it still as tight as he could. Damian felt the flow to his hand stop and tried to pry the hand off. Joey had lost his ever loving mind. Whatever The Joker did to him, it was bad. Damian finally freed himself and walked out side for a moment. He walked down the street and saw the Joker standing at the corner. Damian stopped, he was still here, where ever Joey was he had just gotten back from there. The Joker turned around and saw Damian standing there. Damian's heart was pumping as the Joker walked over to him.

"What did you do to Joey," he asked, his voice shakey.

"Taught him a good lesson, uh, one I will teach you in time, but not today, I have other things to do, by the way, where is Artemis at, hmm?"

"Don't you come near any of us," said Damian barely above a whisper. The Joker walked closer to Damian, he had to look up to the boy as he was freakishly tall. He laughed a bit in Damian's face.

"What are you going to do about it," he said pulling a knife out and sticking it in Damian's side.

"**Patients** is a **virtue** you know," he hissed in Damian's ear. With that the Joker turned around and left. Damian fell to the sidewalk and watched him go. This was defiantly a bad idea. He had to get the other two out of here before the Joker got Artemis and aimed for him.

………………….

I promised you a longer chapter and I failed. I'm a failure! So deal with it!


	6. 101 Mistakes

Alright we are ready for an update! First to reply to my review!

Flying-pencils: your sick! But its all good unda da hood yo!

Not much I can really say except that this chapter will be similar to the last.

Chapter 6

Two days passed and nothing from the Joker. Joey was okay, he tend to mumble to himself every once in a while and stand in the shower with his cloths on, but other then that he seemed the same. What Artemis and Damian didn't know was the events played in his head over and over again and his mutters were confessions of things in life he had done. The memory haunted him and tortured him, it was as if he never left the dark room. His mind had become the dark room. That and he had recently developed a curious fear of door knobs.

Damian was okay after being stabbed in the side. It had healed but he was still angry about it. He would bitch about it and Joey would shout at him to just shut the fuck up. Damian never brought the subject up again. Artemis was jumping at every little movement. She was next on the hitlist and she knew it. Every sound, every unfamiliar face, and every step outside was just a trap. She didn't want to be next, not after what happened to Joey, he wasn't the same after the event, he never would be.

It broke her heart, she loved Joey as the carefree stoner who had a positive outlook on life, everything to him had an upside, now he was a cold and dreary ghost drifting about talking to himself and refusing to go near door knobs. In one fell swoop the Joker had flipped their lives into a hellish nightmare that never seemed to end. The three feared anything and everything now.

Artemis finally had the courage to leave her apartment and walked outside. She had to get out, she was getting cabin fever bad. Down the street she walked to the park. She sat at a bench and sang to herself.

_Strawberry wine and seventeen_

_The hot July moon saw everything_

_My first taste of love oh bittersweet_

_Green on the vine_

_Like Strawberry wine_

The cool October breeze made the trees whisper to her. Her Silence was interrupted by what sounded like someone whistling carnival music. She opened her eyes and looked at a man walking by in a heavy trench coat and a wide brimmed hat. He sat down next to her, that was really odd, he didn't say anything just sat there. Artemis considered moving, this man made her uneasy, she didn't want to be anywhere near him.

She made a move to get up but an iron grip caught her and forced her to sit back down. She paled and her heart stopped. "Ah ah ah," said a spooky nails voice, "sit _tight_ righ**t** there sweethear-**t**," said the unwelcome man. She recognized that voice.

She watched him lay a stick out in the middle of the sidewalk and he sat back down. "Ya know," said the Joker, "you are a hard one to _find_ when you **don't want to be**. Now why would you want to hide from your own father, hmm?"

"What do you want," she asked in a shaky voice.

"Just to stay quiet," he said with a smile. Artemis looked closely at him. He had no clown make up on, the only make up he had hid his scars. He looked like a normal guy actually! It's amazing what a little stage make up can do! She was looked at him with confusion, he chuckled at her. She quickly looked away and back out at the view of the lake that was in front of her. The sound of spinning wheels caught her attention.

She turned her head toward the noise and saw a group of bicyclists coming down their direction.

She looked at the stick sitting on the side walk and stood to say something but she felt something sharp and pointing on her side. She looked down at the Joker and saw he had a blade to her. She slowly sat back down. "Now," he said, "jus**t** sit back and watch the _show_," he said laughing.

"You where a bad comedian in a previous life weren't you," said Artemis. The Joker grabbed her by the arm and twisted it around. Artemis hissed in pain as she felt her arm begin to bruise. He let go of her as the bicyclists came closer. She watched as one of them ran over the stick.

It got caught up in the wheel and he flipped forward. After he landed on the ground all others behind him fell of their bikes falling over him, the stick, and his bike. Those who stopped where hit by everyone behind them. The Joker laughed uncontrollably. Artemis tried to contain her laughter, it wasn't funny, it was horrible, but at the same time it was irresistibly comical. Finally she couldn't hold it in. She joined the Joker in hysterical laughter.

They received nasty looks from the bicyclists who tried to pick themselves up and their bikes. They walked away in fury as the man and girl laughed at them. The man even went so far as to point and laugh.

"That's, that's, that's not funny," said Artemis between laughs, "that's so, so, cruel and unusual!" The Joker then laughed uncontrollably at her. She had settled down and turned a bright red color. She was amusement to him?! She got up and turned to leave when she saw the Joker run to catch up.

"Where you going doll," he asked.

"Somewhere far from you," she snapped. She then felt him grab hold of her arm and start to lead her.

"No, I got better plans for you," he said. She tried to struggle and he shoved her forward on the concrete. She felt her lip bust open and he dragged her back up by her hair. Artemis decided that fighting was a bad idea. She let him lead but looked around paranoid. If she was going to be kidnapped she wanted to know her surroundings so if there was any chance of escape she would know where she was. When the left the park she was shoved in a black van.

She made a break for it but the Joker grabbed hold of her and slammed her head into the side of the van. She fell to the floor and the ride from hell began. The Joker didn't tie her up, he didn't need to. He would give her a lift home and have a little fun in the process. It wasn't what he had in mind for her at first but Joey sort of got in the way of that one.

He picked her up and shoved a knife in her shoulder. She screamed out in pain. He pulled the knife out and stuck it under her rib cage. She screamed even louder. The Joker pushed down on her wounds with his thumb and watched in delight as she squirmed to get away.

He picked her head up by her hair and punched her square in the face. He proceeded to hit her over and over again until she begged him to stop. He got off of her and started to slam the heel of his foot on top of her back. He grabbed her hand and twisted it behind her back. "Don'**t** **scream**," he said darkly. He broke her first finger and she screamed so he broke another. At this point she was in so much pain she could no longer make a noise. He then snapped her arm for the hell of it and laughed devilishly.

Artemis was in so much pain she finally passed out. Her last thought was 'please god just kill me'. She chanted it in her head over and over again until she blacked out and was unconscious.

When Artemis awoke she was in a dumpster with a Jokers card pinned to her pea coat. She couldn't move, her arm was broken, fingers dislocated, her face busted up, bruises and cuts littered her body like a bloody masterpiece. She could hardly breathe. She looked around and saw Damian and Joey standing there on a phone.

"She's awake," said Damian sounding relieved, "don't worry, Artemis, the police and an ambulance is coming."

Artemis blacked out again.

………………………………….

Joker sat in the dark room. Two down one more to go. Artemis could take a lot. That was a good 20 minutes she lasted through. Normally people passed out in 5 but this girl was a fighter. He began to wonder how much craziness she could actually take before she cracked. Joey was easy but he was a little screwy in the head to begin with. He had managed to fry his brain up pretty good. Only one step left for Joey and that was to show him how to enjoy himself. The Joker figured he would make that one a group effort. For now he had to decide what to do with Damian.

He had a smile on his face as 'Beautiful Disaster' played in the back room. Someone had the music channel on, it was his favorite song, it reminded him of times he thought existed. An idea played in his head to get a girlfriend like that but it was gone as soon as it came. He wasn't really sexually active, it wasn't that he didn't have urges. He was a monster but he was still a man, he just had no interest in people whatsoever. Is that weird? Ah well.

Then an idea came to him. Damian had a loyalty to his friends that was unbelievable. He and Joey had chased down the Joker to find Artemis. The idea stuck in his head like ticky tacky. It was fun, useful, and cheap. Driving Artemis and Joey places was really killing him on gas bills. Besides, fun spelled Freakish Unnatural and iNhuman. Hey, I never said he was great with word play. What is that called anyway?

………………………

It was Damian's turn and he knew it. He sat in the waiting room at the hospital thinking about it. The Joker was going to come for him next. Artemis looked like she was in a fucked up car crash. He knew that wasn't what happened. She didn't own a car and if she was how do you explain her ending up in a giant green trash can. The Joker had done this to her and then mocked her.

What was worse was she still had no idea that her mother was dead. Damian got fed up and stood up. "Joey," he whispered, "you got any bud on you?"

"Always," he said gloomily.

"Okay, I need to get out of my head for a moment, I'm going crazy." The two stepped out side in the back of the emergency room. "Man, I can't stop thinking about it. The Joker is going to get me next, Artemis looks terrible, she doesn't know her mother is dead, and God knows how much longer it will be before _we_ die!"

"Dude, chill out," said Joey, "listen, we need to worry about Artemis right now."

"I AM worried about her. I'm worried about you to man, you're not normal," shouted Damian, "look, Gordon is coming, we need to tell him."

"Definantly," said Joey.

"We need to stop this now before it gets any worse."

"Okay, we smoke this, tell the commissioner everything, and hopefully he will be locked away for a very long time and forget all about us," said Joey.

"Then you and Artemis are going to see a psychiatrist. I called up a couple numbers already and I got the name of a good doctor named Harleen Quinnzel. She is supposedly one of the best doctors at Arkem. I heard that John Crane is almost normal now."

"Who is that?"

"That scarecrow guy from a couple years ago."

"Oh yea. What's with all the super villains just popping up now?"

"I don't know, the worlds gone fucking crazy, people running around in costumes. It's batman's fault, he started it."

"Batman isn't a criminal," said Joey.

"Oh he so is," argued Damian.

……………………….

Damian and Joey sat in the waiting room giggling with themselves. The nurse at the desk kept looking up at them and shaking her head, what was coming to this generation? There is nothing funny about a talking chicken hiding in a fruit hat, that was just retarded. (Dr. Tran!) Commissioner Gordon showed up and stood in front of the two boys. Just typical, they were both fucked up this time.

What was this world coming to? Then again, it did bring back some good memories of the 60's. Aw the good old days. Running threw a field with naked people, taking those acid adventures, smoking pot and being one with the music with a bunch of people he didn't even know, sleeping with who ever because love was free, he missed those days.

"Alright," he said sitting on the table across from them trying to ignore the fact that their eyes were red and puffy and they were giggling uncontrollably, "tell me everything that has happened that you have failed to tell me."

"Dude, I give, I was smoking weed behind the building, please don't arrest me! I won't survive, I'm to pretty," cried Joey. Damian started cracking up laughing, Joey was a riot sometimes.

"Come on I need you to get serious. I'm not here for you so just tell me what happened with the Joker." Joey's eyes seemed far away at that moment. He was no longer smiling and laughing, he was somewhere else. He now looked upset and zoned out. Gordon looked him in the eyes and put his hands on Joeys shoulders for comfort.

"Are you alright son," he asked.

"No," said Damian, "Joey was the first."

"The first what," asked Gordon.

"He was the first one the Joker got. Joker did something to him, he won't talk about it. He has some really weird habits now. He showers in his cloths and just stands their. He mutters to himself sometimes and has become scared of door knobs." Gordon pinched the bridge of his nose.

"We found Artemis, she looked like a train hit her, she was in a dumpster behind our apartment building." Gordon sat next to Joey and stared at the floor. He had failed to save them a young girl laid in a hospital bed and it was all because the Joker had escaped them. How he did it, Gordon still wasn't sure, but he did and now he had his daughter in a hospital bed and it was all Gordon's fault. He didn't know how much more he could take before _he_ went crazy.

As the moments ticked away like eternity a nurse came in. "She is awake, you can see her now." Gordon got up with Damian and Joey behind him. They walked into the room and Gordon sat in the chair next to her.

"Artemis Napier," said Gordon, "how are you feeling?" Artemis just gave him a week smile.

"Well, I've seen better days, I've seen worse." Gordon smiled at her warmly.

"Can I ask you what happened?"

"Sure," she said, "he beat me up in a van and left me for dead."

"Is that all," he asked.

"No, he said something to me, he said 'Life is full of pain, get use to it' and drove off."

"Wow," said Joey, "he told me 'what doesn't kill you simply makes you stranger'."

"Is Napier your mothers married name or is it her maiden name," asked Gordon.

"I don't know," said Artemis, "it's the last name she goes by."

"And you don't know if it's her parents name or your father's name?"

"No, should I?" Gordon just smiled and hoped she got well soon. He bid them goodbye and left the group. After talking to her, mostly Damian and Joey talking, they left her for the night. Artemis was on her IV drip and drifted off to haunting memories and strange dreams.

…………………

Artemis woke up in the middle of the night. She looked at her clock then laid back down. She then noticed that her arms were tied down with the hospitals restraints. _Why?_ She then looked around and saw someone sitting in the guest seat in the dark. The figure reached over and turned on a table lamp that wasn't their before. Artemis's breath caught itself in her throat. What more could he possibly want from her!?

"What are you doing here," hissed Artemis. The Joker chuckled a bit and gave her a mocking look of shock.

"What? A father can't come to the hospital to visit his only _daughter_ I tell you doll, you have a heart of ice," he said laughing a little louder this time.

"What do you want from me," she demanded, "I never did anything to you, I never even bothered you or went looking for you! I don't even know your real name!" The Joker reached down and pulled up a squirt bottle and sprayed Artemis in the face with it. She shook her head. "What was that?"

"Uh, water," he said.

"Why? It wasn't even necessary! If you want me to stop then just tell me to shut the fuck up don't squirt me (squirt squirt squirt) stop it!"

"Are you done," he asked impatiently.

"No," she snapped, "you beat the shit out of me and then left me for dead and the last thing you can say to me is 'life is pain get use to it', what the fuck is that!"

(squirt squirt)

"Now **listen**," he growled, "your friend, uh, _Damian_, I think, is next on my list. Actually, you were originally the only one on the list, Joey was jus**t** in the wron-g place at the wron-g time, hmm. Anyway, your friends seem to have this _undying_ sense of loyalty to you so I'm going to need you to get Damian on the team. Sorry, doll, can't be sane and be a member."

"What if I don't _want_ to be a member," she snarled. The Joker laughed at her.

"Uh, have you seen yourself lately doll? You're looking pretty, uh, bad. You aren't getting out of this one with sanity, I promise. But look at it this way (he leaned in closter and took one of her restrained hands) as long as you are chained by all these, uh, _rules_, you will never be free. You wanted freedom and I'm _giving it_ to you, hmm. Sane people plan out these rules to control you. But if you break one little rule you are _evil_. What if, now this is just a thought, but what if you were free of _there_ rules? What if you had complete and total freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want?" Artemis licked her lips.

"But I would still be a prisoner," she said, "I would be a prisoner of _you_. No matter which direction I go there is no such _thing_ as freedom. Freedom from rules, freedom of mind, you, Joker, are still a prisoner."

"Now, see, that's where you're wrong doll. I'm don't even think, I just do, how can I be a prisoner of my mind if I don't even use it," he said laughing hysterically. Artemis's blank look didn't even change. She was going to win this one, one way or the other.

"What happened Jack," she said. Joker quit laughing, oh yes, she lied to Gordon, she knew his name. "What is it that killed you? Was it your parents? No? Where you the office nerd everyone hated? Did you just snap one day and come in with a kitchen knife and just slice up everyone who laughed at you behind your back? No? Maybe it was because you couldn't deal with the fact that mom didn't love you? Hmm? Did it really kill you inside to find out she was such a whore? Did you suffer every time you watched her snort crack, or smoke heroin, or maybe what made you finally crack was when she started drinking heavily."

The Joker looked at her darkly and stood up and walked toward her. Artemis didn't really care, there was not much more he could really do to her physically that he didn't already do. The Joker stared at her for a long moment and finally violently backhanded her. He walked over to the IV and replaced it with a new one. Artemis watched intently as he emptied it of all air. He stuck the IV needle in her wrist. Artemis hissed in pain.

"Sorry," he said, "**missed** the vain." He stabbed her with it again and Artemis felt her eyes begin to grow heavy.

………………………………..

Next time it's Damian's turn!


	7. A Truth Discovered

The chapter you have all been waiting for, THE LAST! Hahahahah just fuckin with you, you can't get off that easy. Anyway I'm all good and ready for this chapter to be posted. I got about an hour and a half to pull a chapter out of my ass so here you go!

Flying-pencils: You know I think he is to.

Everyone else expect for Sam-I-am must hate me but that's okay.

Chapter 6

Damian was fast asleep when someone drug him out of his bed by his foot and into the living room. _Dammit I'm probably going to be murdered and tomorrows payday!_ He was shoved against and chair and tied down and the lights came on. The first thing he saw was Artemis tied down on a chair just across from him. Second he saw the Joker walk over from the light switch.

Damian about wet his pants. What was going on, he had no idea, but he wasn't to keen on finding out. By the looks of it, he was going to find out weather he wanted to or not. Joker walked over with his knife pulled out and looked Damian strait in the face. They stood with just 10 inches between them. It really freaked him out.

"Now," said the Joker, "you should really, uh, be careful about having friends. Their, uh, _weapons_ and they can really get in the way."

"You're nuts," hissed Damian. The Joker just shrugged and walked over to Artemis, determined to prove Damian wrong, and looked as if he was examining a black eye he gave her. Artemis hawk eyed him but showed no fear. If she _was_ afraid Damian couldn't tell. She had a determined look on her face like she was ready for anything he had to dish out. It really scared Damian, she seemed to have no regard for her own personal health, she wasn't even teary eyed even though this man had almost beat her to death.

"Wow, doll, that really looks like it _hurts_," he said with concern in his voice, "looks like you can't, uh, see." He ran his blade along the bruise slowly. Artemis only hissed in pain. Damian was growing anxious, what was he going to do to Artemis and where was Joey right now?

"Like I was saying," said the Joker walking towards Damian now, "friends are weapons. You gotta distance yourself from people." Damian just shook his head. He didn't want to believe that. The Joker walked over to Artemis again and drug his knife slowly across her belly. Artemis gasped in pain but still made no reaction. She had sworn to herself she would never again beg the Joker; she would die before she humiliated herself like that again.

Damian made a move to attack the Joker but it was kind of hard sense his hands were tied to the chair. The Joker kicked Artemis over as a response. "What do you want," asked Damian.

"Don't give this bastard anything," argued Artemis, "don't give him shit! What the fuck do we owe him!?" The Joker cut her across the arm and Artemis flinched a bit but still showed no move to beg for herself. Damian looked at her as she shook her head mouthing the word 'no'. He looked over at the Joker who looked back at Artemis then at him.

"What do you want," he whispered slowly.

"Simply for you to understand that friends are dangerous," said the Joker walking back to him. Damian tensed as he neared him. Damian could see he was right. The Joker was using Artemis to make him see that. The fact that he had already beat her pretty bad just made it a bonus for him. The Joker looked at Damian intently and walked back over to Artemis who just lay on the floor watching with her hair in her face.

"You see, sweetheart, you are a weapon. Just like he is a weapon that I can use against _you_. He would rather do what someone else tells him then to cause harm to you. But if I where to put this knife against your neck, like so, we can find out who he cares for more. You or himself." Joker pulled a gun out and pointed at Damian. "So, what will it be, **Damian**. You or Artemis? Hmm?" Damian shook his head. How could anyone put that kind of decision on him? He looked at Artemis who just laid there. Her drugs had worn off and she was in so much pain she looked like a dying deer. She didn't make any move other then to breath shallow breaths.

The Joker plowed his foot in her gun causing her to moan. All Damian could do was watch. As if right on cue, Joey walked in the room. He looked around curiously. "Oh," he said, "sorry." He was about to leave but Joker got up and walked near him. Joey slowly side stepped away. He turned around and saw the sink directly behind him had water in it. He felt shivers go down his spine. The Joker made a quick move and Joey panicked and quickly ran toward Damian and Artemis.

Damian was left wonder which choice he would have made, unfortunately so was Artemis.

………………………………

The next day was extremely awkward. Joey sat in his usual spot and ate his cereal thinking to himself. Damian drifted in his own thoughts sitting at the table with an empty coffee cup in front of him and he just stared at the wall. Artemis was brought back to the hospital after the Joker left.

Gordon was called again and Artemis had to tell him what happened. Damian was still really shookin up. She lay in her hospital bed thinking to herself. Who almost died last night? She heard the door open but didn't need to look to know who it was. That creepy feeling came over her and she knew who it was.

"What do you want," she asked quietly.

"Just to talk," said the Joker. They sat in silence for a long moment. The Joker wanted to hear what was on her mind. He had to work extra hard on her, she was hard to peg, but he wanted to see if he got her yet. Her head turned from the window to him and she had a blank face.

"He wasn't going to choose me," she said. The Joker shook his head with a concerned look.

"Uh, no, he wouldn't," he replied.

"It's human nature not insanity," she said. She had figured out the Joker's game a long before he walked into her life.

"I, uh, wanted you to see what people where _really_ like. They only think of themselves."

…………………………………………………

Short chapter but next one they meet Harleen Quinnzel!


	8. a good outlet

Alright another night another chapter. I can't go to long though cause I got to get up early. Yea, life's a bitch, what can you do about it?

WARNING: this chapter is filled with anger and arguing. And it's a zombieland scene spoiler! If you havent seen the movie yet don't worry it's not exactly how it goes but it's fairly close.

Flying-pencils: yea, you can't stay mad at him, anyone would have made the same choice :(

Chapter 8

Commissioner Jim Gordon growled in frustration as she fell into deep sleep again. He was just about to get the Joker's name out of her and she passed out again. It wasn't her fault. She had gone through one hell of a beating and it didn't stop there. He got up and went for a cup of coffee. Damian was sitting in the room as well thinking to himself. He had not left her side. The only time he did was to use the bathroom, get food, and go home for some sleep.

The two didn't talk to each other. When Artemis was awake she was lost in her own thoughts leaving Damian to his own. He found out that this was really dangerous. When he would drift off to his own world the memories would come back to him. He couldn't stand it but they haunted his mind so often that he saw he was physically sick. He had only just been tortured two days ago and already he was physically changing. His face had become more hollow, his eyes a bit darker, he was looking frailer, and his cloths had become baggier.

He knew he looked bad without looking in a mirror because doctors and nurses would look at him and offer him help. He didn't want help, he wanted to get away, he wanted freedom from what he had walked into. It was his stupid idea. He should have just left well enough alone and let the police find her. No, he couldn't think like that, it was what the Joker wanted!

Other then the cuts and bruises and broken bones, Artemis was changing as well. She let the thoughts haunt her, she welcomed them, for the first time in her life someone was going out of their way for _her_ attention. She had always been an attention seeker when she was a child but now that the Joker was here her old habits were going to kick in. It was their in the back of her head, she wanted the attention, but she tried to ignore it. She was failing more and more with every passing moment. She hated him, she hated what he did to her, but it wasn't any better then what her mother put her through.

Artemis had come to the conclusion that this was the way her life always had and always would be like. She had yet to loose her sanity but it wouldn't take much more before she leapt off the edge. The only lifeline she had was Damian and Joey. Both were lost now. Damian and Joey had both cracked effortlessly but Artemis was willing to fight it. No amount of attention was worth it.

Artemis lay asleep for a long time before finally opening her eyes. Sure enough, as she expected, Damian sat next to her lost in his mind. It broke her heart to see him in such shape, but she wasn't much better off. He had an almost pleading look practically begging her to talk to him. She felt a deep anger well up inside of her. It was nothing like she had ever felt before other then two nights ago when the Joker came to visit her the first time.

"Damian," she said coldly. Damian was shook back to reality at the sound of her voice and leaned in to listen closely. "Damian, who was your choice?"

"What," he asked. He looked taken aback by the question.

"Truthfully, who would you choose to die if Joey had not walked in the room?"

"Myself," he said offensively. Artemis stared at him with cold empty almost black eyes. She sat up and pulled the IV out of her arm. She got out of the bed and Damian made a move to stop her. "You need to rest," he argued, "please lay back in bed Arty."

"Shut up," she said calmly. She walked over to her purple pea coat and pulled something out that he barely saw. She then walked over to his coat and pulled his knife out that Joey had given her.

"What are you doing," he asked quietly. Artemis shoved him to the floor and sat on top of him and put the blade of his own knife to his throat. Damian was in shock, he didn't know what to do, she had lost her fucking mind! She put her own blade to her own neck and pushed it down so hard she bled. She did the same to him and continued to stare at him blankly.

"Choose," she said, "me or you?"

"Don't kill me," he begged, "please put the knives down before you seriously hurt one of us!"

"Look at us! You moron we are already hurt! You look like shit and I don't look much better! Joey is wasting away to! We have known this fucker for only a few days and already he has managed to almost destroy us! What difference will it make if one of us is dead!?"

"Because we all need each other!"

"I need the truth!"

"I WOULD HAVE CHOSEN YOU," he screamed. Two nurses and a doctor walked in and pulled Artemis off of Damian. She was in such shock she did not react or put up so much as a fight. She dropped both knives and let them tag her down. Damian was helped up by another doctor as he checked both him and Artemis. He looked furious. "I would have thought you where the harder of the rest to break! From all the shit your mom put you threw and this was the thing that made you crack! He got you once and already you are trying to kill me!"

"He got me twice you ass," she shouted back now strapped to the bed, "he used me to get to you! I not only had to take that beating twice, I had to watch it kill you inside to witness it! I watched you sit their and suffer threw the whole thing and not once did I ever consider saving my own live before yours! I am not angry that you chose yourself over me! I FUCKING EXPECTED IT FROM YOU! Why should you give yourself up for me? How can you say you didn't expect me to crack! I have been tortured my whole life! You have to! Damian you are the only one left even close to insanity! You grew up with alcoholics and having to live in the shadow of your sister!"

"How can you rely on me like that!? I don't know what you were thinking but I am no better off then you are! How could you expect me to hold on better then you!"

"Because I'm weak!"

"YOU ARE NOT WEAK! GET YOUR FUCKING HEAD TOGETHER AND QUIT YELLING AT ME! Don't let him in your head," he said now calming down as the doctor was holding him back, "if anyone can pull through this we can." Artemis looked close to tears. Both she and Damian had the same question stuck in their heads, how could they rely on _me_?

"We are going to be okay," she asked.

"Yes," he said, now breathing, "we are going to go see doctor Quinnzel when we get out of here, we will get help, we will help Gordon find your father, we will be free. It will all be a bad nightmare."

"How can you be so sure," tears where now rolling down her pale face.

"Because I know you and I know Joey, we have been through worse, we can fight this." She just nodded her head and laid back as they put the IV in her arm thankful that she had calmed down.

Damian sat down in the guest chair and stared at her. "I'm sorry," he whispered, taking her hand.

"Me to," she said, squeezing his hand, "can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," he said leaning in to listen.

"Where in Gods name is Joey?" Damian chuckled a bit and she smiled.

"He is getting some munchies. He tried eating your jell-o, said it tasted like airline rejection food." Artemis laughed so hard her broken ribs burned with pain. She didn't care though.

The doctors and nurses stood in confusion. Non of them were really sure what happened. But as long as they planned on getting help, they didn't really care.

…………………………………….

Finally Artemis was let out of the hospital. The Joker had not bothered her, most of the cuts and bruises were gone, her dislocated limbs and fingers were back in place, she was on laudin for the pain, and the sun was shining bright. Joey gave her the biggest hug he could without hurting her. He got a waft of her hair, it smelled like roses. That was weird, didn't she usually have Jasmine? Ah well, they were mental nuts at the moment, but they were going to hopefully get that fixed.

Damian drove them as they chattered to together excitedly and happily. It was as if the whole Joker ordeal did not exist. Damian missed this so bad, they were both talking and laughing and joking around. It brought him back to the way things were before.

"Man, you just got your head dunked under water a lot," griped Artemis, "I had the shit beaten out of me. Not once but twice."

"Oh please," said Damian, "not only did I have to watch you get beaten up, I had to choose between you or me, _plus_ you tried to kill me." Artemis chuckled a bit. Joey was a little unsure if it was too soon to laugh about it or not, but he didn't care. You should always remember to enjoy the little things. Artemis turned on the radio and they jammed out the rest of the way to Doctor Quinnzel. When Damian pulled up to the address he saw a large castle like gothic structure. At the gate was a large sign, Arkem Asylum.

"You took us to Arkem," asked Joey, "dude, we are a little tortured not broken." Artemis and Damian just started laughing at him.

"That was so redundant," said Artemis still laughing.

"Man, you just goin out in the world and tryin so hard arentcha," mocked Damian.

"Okay, maybe we _are_ a little nuts," said Joey, "but is this nessisary? We need a psychologist no a psychiatrist."

"I just don't know what to say to that," said Artemis.

"Who? You? You mean for once you don't have anything to say," said Damian in shock. Artemis hit him in the arm with her casted arm. Damian just shook his head chuckling. A guard came out and knocked on the window. "I have two nutjobs here who need some serious work done."

"Look who's talking," shouted Artemis.

"Hey, you said it yourself, I'm more sane then the both of you put together! Anyway, we have an appointment with Dr. Harleen Quinnzel." The guard nodded and opened the gate. They drove in and parked in the parking lot. "So where are we suppose to go?"

"You're asking _us_," said Joey.

"How are we suppose to know," agreed Artemis.

"Do you really want me to answer that,' he asked sarcastically.

"No," the both replied. They walked in and saw a receptionist behind a caged window. "Well," said Joey, "we have arrived to the nut house."

"Can I help you," asked the receptionist as she filed her nails.

"We have an appointment with Dr. Quinnzel," said Damian.

"Is it a mental problem," she asked. Damian and Artemis looked back at Joey who was staring at an ink blot posted on the wall.

"Trippy," he said mesmerized.

"Yes," said Damian and Artemis at the same time. A button was pushed and a door unlocked.

"Second floor third office on the right," said the receptionist, "and tell your friend that next time he comes, please don't get stoned, we may mistake him for an actual patient." Damian and Artemis laughed as they walked away. Joey ran to catch up. Up the elevator and down the hall they found an office. Damian knocked on the door and a blond answered the door. She had bright blue eyes full of intelligence and peachy skin. She wore a black pinstripe skirt and jacket with a white button up under it. Her hair was tied up in a bun and she had half moon glasses on.

"Ah, you must be the one I spoke with on the phone."

"Dude," whispered Joey, "she is totally psychic." Artemis chuckled a bit. Damian just rolled his eyes at him.

"Yes," he said, "I am the one you spoke with. I am Damian, that's Artemis and Joey."

"Alright,' she said, "well I will see you one at a time so let's start with you Damian." Damian walked into the office while Artemis and Joey sat in the hall talking to each other.

………………………………

"Let's start from the beginning. Tell me where you came from, your childhood all the way up to now," said Dr. Quinnzel.

"Well," he said sighing, "where to start." He told his life story as best as he could. From loosing his parents, to his drunk foster family, being in his sister's shadow, the encounter with the Joker, all the way up to how great today felt for some reason. Harleen offered him a few tissues and even jumped on occasion when he started getting angry.

"Wow," she said, "it's amazing you aren't sitting in a cell here! You must be pretty strong to be doing as well as you are right now."

"What are you talking about," he said, "look at me. One night and I am already physically sick!"

"Yes," she said, "but this has not happened because of one night. This has happened because of a life time. You where four years old and your foster father raped his wife in front of you while she was passed out, you had everything stolen from you by your mother throughout your life from possessions to dignity, you are forced to be under some spoiled girl who is probably on crack. How you have handled yourself so far is impressive! We will talk next week, you will just let me know how you're week has been and we will work on trying to get your mental guard back up."

"That sounds good," said Damian not having any idea what she was talking about. The doctor thanked him for his time and asked him to bring Joey in.

………………………

Damian walked out of the room with a miserable look. He told Joey it was his turn and Joey was obligated to go. "Are you okay," asked Artemis.

"Well, the doctor was shocked that I had held onto sanity as long as I have," he responded.

"Is that a good thing," she asked.

"Well she seemed happy and excited about it,' he responded, "I guess so."

……………………….

"So Joey, tell me about your life."

"Well, I lost my mom to a car crash. My dad works all the time."

"Tell me your life story as best as you can," she said. Joey told his life story. He lost his mother in a car crash, he was in the booster seat next to her but luckily he lived. It would be really spooky right now if he had died. His father was a workaholic from the time he was 7 to the present. He almost never saw his father. They didn't even really know each other.

Growing up he turned to Artemis's mother as a parent figure. She was drunk, doped up, and a total whore. He started smoking weed when he was 15 and ended up dragging Artemis and Damian into doing it. He told the story about what the Joke had done to him all the way up to feeling pretty good this morning considering.

She told him the same thing she told Damian and he thanked her for his time and she thanked him as well.

…………………………..

"Artemis," said Joey, "it's your turn."

Artemis nodded and got up and left into the room. "What did you tell her," asked Damian.

"Everything," he responded. He nodded in response.

"Yea, I did to."

"Do you think we are going to get any better or is this a waste of time."

"We won't know until we've tried.

………………………….

Harleen found out that Artemis was not quite as disturbed as the other two but twice as sick. She told Harleen her life story about living with a drunk, drug addicted whore, and then told Harleen about what happened two days. Ago. "It's so weird," she finished, "I woke up today and they told me they were releasing me and all day has been pretty easy going. It's been a very logn time sense I had one of those days."

"Well, you may need more of those days," she responded, "maybe you should consider taking some time off, getting out of town. Maybe go visit your mother's grave and let her know how you are feeling."

"What," she asked. Her head spun from looking at the ceiling to looking at Harleen.

"You're mothers grave. Give her a last goodbye and let her know how you are feeling."

"What are you talking about," said Artemis, "my mother's not dead. Although, I am taking it personal that she isn't calling me back or making any effort to contact me."

"You mean you don't know,' said Harleen shocked, "Dear, the Joker killed your mother."

"When," she asked now paler then she was before.

"Maybe you should talk to your friends about this it's not really my-" In an instant Harleen had the enraged girl close to choking her to death.

"You're mother died the day the Joker kidnapped you. He attacked your mother before he came after you and killed her. She is buried in your hometown."

"And the boys know about this," she said through clenching teeth.

"They told me," she said. Artemis let her go and Harleen choked from lack of oxygen.

"Artemis," she said seriously, "you may need to get yourself checked in. You may need more help then I can give you." Artemis didn't listen. She just walked toward the door. "Please," said Harleen, "consider it."

"I was never even told," she said coldly, "I'm not getting myself checked in anywhere. There is **nothing** wrong with me." With that she opened the door. She would get revenge on the Joker but first things first. She walked passed her supposed 'friends' without a word. She snatched the keys to the car from Damian and ran out to the parking lot leaving the other two confused.

She jumped in the car and started it and drove back to her home town. When she arrived she drove to the only grave sight. "Where is Jessica Napier," she asked the caretaker. He pointed to Jessica's grave. "Thank you,' she said walking toward it. She stood in front of it not wanting to believe it. "Mom,' she said quietly, "I just wanted to tell you goodbye. I know it's too late but I just wanted to say thank you for never telling me anything about my father. I think that if you had told me I would not have lived long enough to see 17. I'm afraid I might not make it to 18.

When he finally kills me I will go to heaven. I know that you are looking up at me as you are burning hell because you were a total bitch. Please know that even though I hate you, I love you, and I _am_ greatful for the little you did." She stood their listening to the nature around her for 15 minutes before turning to leave. She drove home.

…………………….

Damian and Joey stood in front of the hospital not really sure what to do as far as a ride. She didn't look like she planned on coming back for them. "Maybe we can catch a cab," suggested Joey.

"Do you have any money," asked Damian.

"Nope," said Joey. Damian sighed and sat down on the steps.

"Maybe she will come back for us," he said.

"Doubt it," said Joey. They sat on the steps watching people come in and out. For an area made specifically to keep the nutjobs away from normal society it sure had a lot of guests coming to and fro. "Okay," said Joey, "let's walk."

Damian nodded and got up. They walked home. By the time they got their they saw the car parked over a meter. That was going to be an expensive ticket. The two ran inside only to be stopped by non other then Jesse James.

"Hey," he said, "have you guys seen Artemis lately?"

"Yea," said Damian, "she just ditched us to walk home. She was pissed about something."

"What happened," asked Jesse.

"Don't worry about it," said Damian.

"Damian," said Joey, "remember what the doc said, we should talk about our problems. If he really wants to know we should tell him."

"Alright,' said Damian, he turned to Jesse, "Jesse, that guy you let in here a few days ago who said he was Artemis's dad. Well it was the Joker. He tortured us and shit and we decided to see a psychiatrist. Whatever they were talking about pissed her off and she left us all the way at Arkem." Jesse blinked a couple times.

"So, the Joker is pretending to be Artemis's dad?"

"No," said Joey, "the Joker _is_ Artemis's dad."

"So Artemis is crazy?"

"No,' said Damian, "but the Joker is trying to make her crazy."

"And he is trying to make you guys crazy to?"

"Yes," said Joey.

"_Are_ you guys crazy?"

"No," said Joey defensively.

"You sure as hell _sound_ crazy." Joey just sighed and headed up the stairs to their apartment leaving Jesse James extremely confused. What in hells name where they talking about?

…………………………

Damian and Joey came into the apartment and saw Artemis sitting on the floor in front of the TV watching the news. "Why didn't you tell me," she said in a deadly low whisper.

"Tell you what," asked Damian.

"That my mother was dead."

"Oh," said Joey, "that. I wanted to tell you but I never got the chance."

"Every time I tried something got in the way," said Damian.

"What the hell does that even mean?"

"It means I was constantly interrupted by one thing or another," said Damian.

"And you, Joey, what happened?"

"I didn't have the heart to tell you," he said looking down at the ground, "I'm sorry."

"Go away,' she grumbled. Joey and Damian exchanged looks and decided she probably wanted to be alone.

They slowly moved out of the living room and away from her. How had her world fall apart so quickly? She didn't have much of a world to loose anyway. What hurt the most was the fact that everything the Joker had said to her had been true. Damian would chose his own life before hers, life was painful, both her friends were weapons he could use against her, what didn't kill her was changing her in unpleasant ways at an unpleasant rate.

Every bit of her life was coming crashing down on her at once but she had no more tears to cry. She wanted so bad to cry but she just couldn't. She needed a relief, a way to get it all out at once, she needed an outlet.

……………………….

"We need to help her," said Joey.

"We tried to help her and look at what happened to her, look at what happened to us, we can't risk helping anyone anymore. We're a danger to society when we help."

"We can't just sit here and do nothing while everything is fucking up all at once," pressed Joey, "Damian, think, what if she needs a way to get it all out!?"

"Will you shut the fuck up for once! You don't have the answers to everything! You are not half as smart as you think you are, half the time you're fucking retarded because you're high! You're the comic relief! Just do me a favor and stop thinking," shouted Damian.

"You know, I don't have to share anything that comes to mind but when it comes to Artemis I'm willing to take my chances! You need the emotional relief to man! You are way out of your mind!"

"Look at the pot calling the kettle black! You're nuts! I may not have known her as long as you but I don't think you have a psychic link to her. She wants to be left alone! I at least made an effort to tell her about her mom, you didn't even do that, you hid in silence like you always do!"

"You're acting like a real asshole right now man! We've already been through shit for the last week and all you can do is making things more miserable! We don't need that! You know what you need, you need to cry man, seriously!"

"I have nothing left to cry," he said, "I'm empty!"

"So let's get that adrenalin pumping. Instead of fighting lets work together to make life a little more bearable." Damian took a long deep breath and closed his eyes. Joey was right, they all needed an outlet, and most importantly they needed to stick together.

……………………

Artemis sat staring at the window for a long moment when the two boys reappeared. She heard the whole fight. It was amazing what you could work out with a little aggression. She turned her head and smiled at them. "An outlet would be great," she said. The two boys smiled at her. They all grabbed their coats and went outside. Artemis lead the way, she knew exactly what she wanted to do.

……………….

"Are you sure this is a good idea," asked Damian.

"Why," asked Joey who was all for it, "you scared of 5-0?"

"No, but you are."

"Come on Damian," said Artemis, "it will be good for us, not good for Jim Gordon, but it will be good for us."

"You know this may start a whole alert," argued Damian, "you spray paint HAHA across some ones building they are going to think the Joker is after them."

"That's the point," said Artemis, "just a little scare to see what happens."

"You've lost your ever loving mind," he said breathlessly as they climbed the stairs to Jim Gordon's door. He had to admit, though, he was liking the adrenalin rush it was giving him, something about scaring a whole city half to death is a good way to excite someone. Artemis handed him and Joey a spray can.

"I dare you," she said winking. Damian smiled and painted a red happy face on the side of the building. Joey then sprayed a crazy Joker's hat on it. Artemis finished it off with HAHA written all over the walls. They giggled as they put the cans away and snuck out before Gordon found them. Joey had a feeling in his gut that this was so wrong but he just didn't care, he was having fun!

Next they broke into a store. "Okay," said Damian, "now what?" Artemis responded by picking up an expensive looking glass piece and dropping it on the ground. Damian was a bit confused. Joey picked up a glass coffee mug and threw it across the room. Damian decided he wanted to try.

He picked up a small glass case of rings and smashed it on the ground. All hell broke loose!

They ran around the store just destroying everything! Artemis picked up an acoustic guitar and smashed it through the cashiers guard window. Damian and Joey both shoved over a shelf whiched caused the domino affect on the other shelves. By the time it was midnight the store looked like the tornado from hell whipped through it.

They left the store breathing heavily, feeling like the world was lifted from their shoulders, Damian was quite happy he had followed. It was a brilliant idea, maybe they broke a few laws, but it was still a great idea.

"Artemis, I have no idea what has gotten to you, but I kind of dig it," said Joey.

"Well," she said with sarcasm, "I just want to make my daddy proud." Joey and Damian laughed hysterically. They walked back to the car laughing with each other and growing very tired.

"We should probably get out of here," said Joey, "cops will be showing up."

"Yea," said Damian, "good idea." They drove home and went to bed. Unbeknownst to them the Joker had been watching the whole time, he couldn't wait to get them on his side, they were a riot!

………………………………………..

I thought a little act of insanity would be good for them seeing as how I put them through all that. Sorry it's so fast pace but I'm growing impatient.


	9. recovery step one: consideration

HA! I got no reviews but I'm updating it. I would just like to say that the more reviews I have the more I will update. But here you go anyway. I don't own anything. Last time was a bit aggressive but I promise this chapter fits the story better. I realized how rediculous this is getting so I decided to change the genra a bit.

Chapter 9

Artemis, Joey, and Damian had not heard from the Joker in several days now. They had seen Dr. Quinnzel again already and the sessions were uneventful except in one session where she had them do a word game using each other.

_Two days ago:_

_Harley watched as the three sat together on the couch wonder what she had in mind. "Now," she said, taking off her glasses, "how about each of you tell me how your week has gone?"_

"_Well," said Joey first, "do you remember seeing all that craziness on the news about Gordon being the Jokers next target and how someone had distoryed a store not far from here? Well that wasn't the Joker." Artemis and Damian both covered his mouth as quick as they could._

"_And, why, may I ask, do you say that," asked Dr. Quinnzel in a very serious tone. Artemis and Damian exchanged glances. Harleen nodded, that was all she needed. Fortunately for them she could not give such information out. Doctor Patient Confidentiality. It always seemed to kill her when she got patients like these. "Did you think it was funny or something?"_

"_Actually, yes, I did," said Artemis defiantly._

"_So you find the pain of others funny?"_

"_Of course not!"_

"_Do you realize that doing what you did was putting others in pain and you laugh at it?"_

"_Well, I didn't do it to harm anyone," she argued. Dr. Quinnzel pinched the bridge of her nose. That was not a good sign and Artemis knew it. She looked down at the ground with the feeling of guilt washing over her. Harleen looked at her and gave her a small smile._

"_Guilt. That's a good sign. But I'm afraid the only way to cure this is to apologize to those you have hurt."_

"_What," shotued Damian, "if we do that we will get caught! We'll go to jail!"_

"_Yes, that _is_ a problem, isn't it," said Harleen, "an annonimous apology letter then. I suggest you all write one and deliver it by night, that way you can explane things and not go to jail for it. Just don't put your names on it okay? JOEY!?" Joey jumped a bit and laughed nervously. "Good, now today I have you all together to try a bit of word games. Let's let go of all of the feelings you have starting with each other. If we do that we can get past all trust problems, be totally honest with each other, so you can grow stronger as friends and it will help pull all of you out safely."_

_The others looked at each other nervously. _What where their opinions on me_ rang through their heads. "This excersize does tend to cause tention, but the point is to get tention out of the way. Now Joey I wan't you to give me one word that discribes Artemis about the thing that irritates you the most." Joey thought for a moment._

"_Um, one word? That's kind of hard, can I use more then one word?"_

"_Sorry, Joey, one word."_

"_Okay, you are a bit to…um….bitchy," he said._

"_Bitchy," she asked taken aback._

"_Well, you have this tendency to scare the shit out of people when you are mad and as far as humor you are a tad bit ruthless. That, and when you complane, you tend to make sure no body has happy either. I'm sorry but you're bitchy."_

"_Very good," said Harleen, "now Damian, one word to discribe when get's on your nerves about Artemis."_

"_Artemis is unpredictable," he said, "she is easily rialed up but you never know if she is going to get mad or find it funny. It's kind of hard not to offend you sometimes and you get a bit bitchy about it."_

_Artemis took a deap breath, this was going to be a long session._

"_Now, Artemis, what is it about Joey that get's on your nerves in one word?"_

"_Joey is childish," she said, "I feel like I babysit you half the time and that I have to keep an eye on you before you do something really stupid."_

"_Well, you didn't seem to hesitate for a response their," spat Joey._

"_Okay, kids, settle down, Damian, you're turn."_

"_Um Joey is a bit irresponsible," said Damian, "he is forgetful and has his head up in the sky most of the time. He seems to put weed before everything else and has a habit of forgetting important stuff a bit to easy."_

"_Man, can't get a break," said Joey crossing his arms._

"_Well Joey, tell me about Damian in one word," said Harleen._

"_Damian is fatherly," said Joey, "he thinks he should take charge every time something goes wrong. I have opinions to but he just elects himself leader and leads the pack."_

"_Well, I don't see you or Artemis taking any responsibility. You guys are just to busy chasing each other around and acting like a couple of children."_

"_Hey, I do NOT act like a child," said Artemis, stomping her foot on the floor. Joey snickered at her. Artemis shouted at him to shut up and he kept on laughing._

"_You see, Harleen, this is what I deal with on a daley basis! I'm living with thrill seaking four year olds! That whole thing about Gordon and the store was their idea! They drug me along for the ride!"_

"_Alright now, everyone, Artemis, what is it that irritates you about Damian?"_

"_How about know-it-all," she said, "he is so sure that he is always right even when you put the proof in his face. He is just never wrong no matter what. Oh, and another thing, he is controling!"_

"_Stop it, I am not controlling," he argued._

"_Oh, see, he is doing it again," said Artemis now standing, "he says he's not controlling so he must not be!"_

"_Now, now, let's calm down," instructed Harleen, "now lets talk about it. Artemis you have been told that you are bitchy and unpredictable, how does that make you feel?"_

"_It hurts my feelings," she said._

"_But don't you think it hurts their feelings when you act that way?"_

"_What way!?"_

"_You lash out when we are joking around with us," sai d Joey._

"_So what do you want me to do about it?"_

"_Just settle down a bit, the world is not conspiring against you, we certainly aren't," said Damian, "we jumped into a sewer for you and we never really got a thankyou for it." Artemis was shocked. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it, she had nothing to say, it caught her completely off guard. Everyone watched her waiting for her reaction. She took a deep sigh and looked at her two friends._

"_I'm sorry," she said softly, "and thank you for trying to save me even though you both failed….I'm sorry…."_

"_Okay, Joey, you are childish and irresponsible," she said moving on, "what are your feelings on that?"_

"_I feel like they don't trust me," he said, "no matter what I do I can't win for loosing. I really do try but they just don't give me much of a chance."_

"_And your response," she said turning to the other two._

"_Joey, it's just that you are stoned all the time and not in a right state of mind. When you aren't you can't function. The thought of leaving you alone in such a poor state just scares me," said Artemis, "I really care for you so I took it upon myself to watch over you. I really can't help it I just feel like you wouldn't survive on your own."_

"_But I can survive on my own, I have been doing it for a really long time, you don't need to worry about that," said Joey._

"_But Joey," said Damian, "what if this goes beyond weed? What if you get into some serious stuff. We don't want to lose you, we love you just the way you are, we are scared of you going further."_

"_I'm sorry I scare you guys but please trust that I would never do something that stupid," said Joey, "I would never intentionally do that to you guys!"_

"_Damian, you are a fatherly know-it-all control freak, how do you feel about that?"  
"Well, it's just, neither of these two can be left in control. I let Artemis lead us and look what we ended up doing. I think they are both way to wild to not have someone control them. If it weren't for me, Artemis and Joey would be in jail by now, if not dead. It's not that I don' t trust them, I just feel the need to protect them from themselves."_

"_We appreciate that you keep us out of trouble," said Joey, "but you also have to understand that there is a line. Telling us what to do and complaining at us every time we do what you don't want to do is crossing it. There are things we do for you that we really don't want to."_

"_Look, Damian, we really do need you around, but you don't need to be the ring leader all the time, let us get a chance to," said Artemis._

"_I'm sorry, guys, I will try and work on that. But I don' t want to do anything insane like what we did a couple nights ago. I'm sorry but that just isn't my idea of fun."_

"_Just don't try and stop us every time we want to and we will be alright buddy," said Artemis._

_Harleen sighed; maybe_ she_ should see a psychiatrist after all this was over._

_END FLASHBACK_

Needless to say the next couple of days practicing consideration was a little awkward. Artemis never knew how inconsiderate she was until recently. Harleen had suggested they talk about it when they do things that irritate each other. This was actually not working, it made things weird, they were not considerate people at all.

Artemis heard a knocking at the door and opened it. The Joker stood in his regular cloths with no clown make up. Artemis closed the door on his face. The door opened again before the Joker busted his way in and Joey was standing at the door. The Joker walked in and Joey closed the door.

"Joey," said Artemis, "what did you go and do that for?"

"Because we are trying to practice consideration," said Joey, "when you slam the door in peoples faces, they find it offensive, especially when you don't contact that person for several days or they don't contact you. You should really learn some manners."

"Oh, shut up," said Artemis.

"Arty you are being bitchy again," said Damian from the kitchen.

"I don't care! I'm tired of us all trying to tip toe around each other because a stupid blond told us to be considerate of each other. We have never been considerate before and I'm tired of being considerate now! This whole thing is a stupid waist of time!"

"Whoa, their, sweathear**t,"** said the Joker, "you should, uh, really listen to your _friends_, but that's not why I am here. I just came by to tell you all that I need you to get me $5,000 by the end of this week. I don't care how you do it but it's a good start."

"Good start to what," asked Damian.

"You all work for, uh, me now," said the Joker, "welcome to the team." As he said it he opened his arms wide in a welcoming gesture.

"What if I don't want to be part of the _team_," asked Artemis.

"Uh, you, especially, don't get that option, doll," said the Joker. His eyes were dark and empty. Artemis backed up a bit nervously. The Joker scared her, no doubt, but at the same time her teen estrogen commanded that she rebelled!

"Well, I had other things in my day planner," she said sarcastically. He laughed hysterically.

"Like what, going to tag another building or fuck up another store?" Artemis burned red with anger. She felt her face flush as he just stood there and laughed at her. This clown was getting on her last nerve.

"Go to hell," she mumbled.

"Now, that's no way to treat your dear father doll," he said walking toward her until they were just inches away from each other. Artemis stood strong beside her promise not to give him any of the emotions he craved from her. Fear and Sadness were dead to her now, she had no tears to cry and no more fear for him to feed off. So she thought.

"You are _no__**t**_** my father**," she hissed. He grabbed both her upper arms and slammed her into the wall. She didn't even flintch.

"Uh, yes, I am," he said menacingly, "and you _will_ do what I say, Doll, god forbid Joey here where to take a swim with an anchor tied to his ankle. A neat little trick I learned from working with the mafia." Behind him Artemis could hear Joey whimper in fear.

"Why bother, put him in the shower, he will drowned himself," she said slyly.

"Artemis, please, this is a really bad time," said Damian.

"Naw," she said, "Damian would order him out of the shower."

"Artemis your doing it again," groaned Joey, "that bitch thing you do." Artemis didn't know what was going through the Joker's head as he stood silently boring his black/brown eyes into her own. He didn't look much amused, that's for sure. Artemis was not all that amused herself.

"Well I'm _ordering _you to get me what I asked by the end of the week, don't disappoint me, **sweetheart**, you wouldn't like me to get really mad. Before was just a little taste of what I can do to you. Hmm."

Artemis felt her barriers begin to break the longer he stared at her. She wanted to get away and crawl in a small space. Finally she squirmed under his stare and he seemed satisfied. He let her go and turned to leave. "End of the week, kids," were his final words before leaving.

"How are we suppose to get $5,000 by the end of the week," asked Joey after the door shut.

"I have no idea," said Damian sitting down, "but we better think quick. Joey, do you think we can do it selling pot?"

"By the end of the week? Not a chance, we don't even have big enough names to make half that much."

"We don't get paid enough," continued Damian, "I guess that leaves you to decided Artemis."

"Why me," she asked.

"Well, I'm trying to give everyone a chance," he said. Artemis huffed in frustration and crossed her arms thinking to herself.

"Only two ways I can think of, the lotto or robbery," she said, "and I don't think I want to put my chances on the lottery."

"What if we get arrested," asked Joey.

"Then the Joker will be the least of our worries," she said.

…………………………………………….

Next time, Damian, Artemis, and Joey try and come up with $5,000 dollars by the end of the week!


	10. step two: manners

Okay so still no reviews but I did get a fave! Thank you! So anyway here is your story!

Chapter 9

Damian paced the room as Artemis and Joey passed a joint around. They had to think of something, $5,000 by the end of the week, it was ridiculous! "I got it," said Joey, "lets steal $5,000 from a bank!"

"Why would we steal only $5,000 from a bank," said Artemis, "why don't we just rob the whole fucking place? Let's take it all. We can get all awesome with it and shit! Like plan it down, get blue prints, it will be like the Italian Job!"

"Yea, and we can go all secret agent underground thief," said Joey, "like hire people and shit."

"That's all well and good, guys, but no, we can't rob a bank, especially not only $5,000 dollars, we need to think small scale so we don't attract to much attention. A bank is way over our heads anyway, we have never robbed anyone, unless you count that one convenient store last year, but we broke in after it closed and just stole beer."

"That's it," said Joey, "lets rob a few convenient stores! We have done it before."

"Yes, but do we _want_ to resort to crime is the question," said Artemis, "we would be doing exactly what the Joker wants and it would go against the therapy."

"But do we want to live or die," said Joey. Damian nodded in agreement, they both had a point, they needed to get better but they can't do that dead. Artemis sighed in defeat.

"Well, her therapy is bullshit anyway."

"That reminds me," said Damian, "we got an appointment tomorrow."

"No way, I don't want to go there it freaks me out," said Joey, "let's just go crazy, things seem simpler to me that way anyway, I know what I'm afraid of and I know how to avoid it."

"Yea," said Artemis, "but if we go crazy we are going to end up there anyway." Joey groaned but got up to head to bed.

"This is you guys's fault." Artemis and Damian just laughed at him and headed to bed.

Artemis lay in bed and couldn't help but wonder why it was the Joker had a sudden interest in her. She figured that it was all in his plot, he had plans for them, he practically said so saying they were part of his little 'team'. Some team, a crazy clown, a stoner who was afraid of door knobs, an attention deprived daughter of a whore, and a guy who usually ran around like a chicken with its head cut off, and the only ones who sought help where more willing to rob a convenient store then go to therapy. Yup, Arkams finest right here!

…………………………………..

"If you want my advice I say you tell the police about this," said Harleen after hearing about their week so far. "Now how are you doing practicing consideration for yourselves and others?"

"Um, we are about to rob a convenient store and you asking us about how considerate we have been," said Artemis sarcastically.

"As you can see, Artemis is a failure at that one, when the Joker came over she slammed the door in his face," said Joey, "but _I_ opened the door back open and let him in." Joey had a proud smile on his face. Harleen looked really shocked.

"Oh…well….good consideration skills…I think," she said. "So…lets talk about a new exercise for this week. Let's talk about good manners."

"Isn't that the same as consideration," said Damian lifting a brow.

"Yes," she said, "when we improve your manners, you will improve your consideration," said Dr. Quinnzel.

"Um, I thought you had a Ph.D," said Artemis licking her lips.

"Trust me, the best way to help you function is to help you learn to communicate with others," she said.

"We are a little scarred, we aren't completely mental," argued Joey.

"Look, kid, I'm working on being a doctor of the mentally insane, you guys are practice, when you go out there and function in the real world _I_ get to be a resident here and deal with what I was trained for. I'm trying to build up your social skills so you can know what is normal and what isn't."

"Well being considerate all the time, uh, is **not** normal," said Artemis with a dull tone. Joey and Damian looked at her with disbelief. It was like hearing the words from the Joker himself!

"Look, it's your time, I do have other patients and _they_ are putting effort in it. I have already moved on to talking about what is bothering them and they have control over themselves. You guys have no control, you are a bunch of crazy kids doing whatever the hell you want. You are runaways, you messed up Gordon's wall and I don't think I remember and apology letter from _any_ of you being delivered otherwise I'm sure it would have been on the news. If you just trust my original style you will be okay. Now about those manners you lack." They all three groaned with displeasure. Harleen just smiled at them.

……………………………………

"Okay," said Joey, "here we are, our first hit."

"Please don't say it like that," said Artemis.

"What do you want me to call it? Our first job," he said.

"No," she responded dryly, "just call this a trip to the gas station."

"Okay, we aren't going to knock over this 7-11 we are just taking a normal trip to the gas station at 2am."

"Could you please leave out the sass," said Damian imitating Harleen, "it's rude and can be offensive to others."

"Oh I'm sorry," said Artemis sarcastically, "is that better?" They chuckled a bit and walked up to the gas station pulling their masks on. They wore black with Disney characters. No one was going to put this on the news so they thought they would have a few laughs. Artemis went as Minni mouse, Damian as Goofy, and Joey as Tinker Bell. Yes, Joey was wearing a Tinker Bell mask that came with complementary fairy dust. They all walked in and saw the store was empty. Damian slammed a duffle bag on the desk and put a fake gun to the cashiers face. The cashier looked up and just sighed with irritation.

"Alright, put the-"

"Put the money in the bag, I got ya," said the store clerk interrupting Damian. They all exchanged looks then watched as the man emptied the drawer and the safe into the bag. They grabbed the bag and left.

"Well that was retarded," said Damian, climbing in the back of their car. He counted the money as they drove around for the next store. "$300, we are still a long way off." They pulled over the car at a small Wal Mart. They walked in and pulled out their guns. People screamed and ducked. Artemis and Joey walked up and down the cash registers collecting money. Then she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. She turned around and saw Jesse James. She pulled off her mask and looked up at him blushing.

"Um, hi," she said nervously.

"Hey," he said, "I knew it was you guys, I recognized Damian's voice."

"Yea, it's cool," she said looking down.

"So, you're a robber," he said.

"Oh, hahaha, no, just today,' she said.

"Today, huh," he said, "sorta looks like it is something you do regularly."

"Yea, the Joker wants $5,000 by the end of the week. It's kind of hard to come up with that much cash in short time."

"It's cool, I see renters robbing places all the time. It's not often a criminals daughters walks through that I know off, at least not criminals like the Joker."

"Oh, you know about that," she said sadly.

"Yea, Damian and Joey told me everything. So what happens if you don't get it all by the end of the week?"

"I don't know, Jesse, he might kill us," she said quietly. Jesse James looked at her in shock. This was the first time he had felt anything like this and he wasn't ready to lose it. Something in him snapped, he had only met this girl a couple weeks ago and already he was losing it for her, he did something he never expected he would do. He grabbed her other gun and pointed it at a cashier.

"Put the money in the bag," he shouted. He looked back at Artemis who stood in shock. "I watch a lot of TV,' he said winking at her. She giggled a bit. She passed the bag around with Joey and Damian just stood back in shock. This guy must have really liked her to be doing something this stupid.

The four ran out laughing like maniacs and jumped in the car. Damian and Jesse James sat in the back counting out the money they took from Wal Mart. "We hit the 3,000 mark you guys," said Damian, "we must have come in right after rush hour."

"Alright, good start," said Joey happily.

"I have never done anything like that," said Jesse, "what a rush!"

"It's nuts right," said Damian, "adrenaline going crazy all over you nuts."

"No kidding," said Artemis, "I'm actually looking forward to the next hit."

"What do you say guys," said Damian, "want to get them all in one night?"

"We need to change our disguises," said Joey, "let's go to the next one as badly dressed as possible."

"Oh, gee, forgot my dress up drawer," said Artemis.

"The Party Galaxy is open 24/7 let's rob costumes and stuff from them," said Damian. They drove to the nearest party Galaxy and stole as many costumes as they could run out with. They changed into the next set and walked into the truck stop, they had to be loaded their.

In they walked in a dramatic fashion. Artemis wore a groovey long haired blond wig with a leather head band, crazy brown bell bottoms, a tie die long sleeved shirt, and a brown jacket with black flats.

Joey was decked out in a large black afro with a giant purple comb pick in it, a white jacket, a purple button up shirt, white pants, and white elevator shoes.

Damian wore a red wide brim hat with a large purple feather in it, a silk purple shirt, a red jacket, red slacks, and big black dress shoes.

Jesse James chose a bright red track shoes, dark sun glasses, and a white visor upside down with Adidas written on it. They swaggered in like they were in a music video. To create affect, Artemis pulled out a shot gun and cocked it before walking through the door. It was the most ridiculous and unnecessary job so far.

They walked up to the cashier and Artemis pulled her shot gun at him. "Put the money in the fucking bag," she said with a dull and calm voice.

"You heard the lady," said Jesse James with attitude written on his face. Joey pulled out the bag and shoved it on the counter.

"Yea," said Damian threateningly, "fill it before our girl here makes you a Holy Cashier." The cashier quickly opened the drawer and the vault and started filling the bag. He looked up at Artemis nervously, he was being robbed by a bunch of weirdo's that was for sure. When the cashier finished he closed the bag and stepped away as quick as he could. Joey took it and they turned to leave. But the door wouldn't open. Artemis pushed on it again and again. Soon her whole body was shoving against the door.

"He locked the fucking door," shouted Jesse. Damian walked over and took one of the chairs by a table and threw it through a window. They jumped threw the broken door and ran for the car. They drove out and started down the street and pulled into a driveway a mile away. They sat their slumped in their seats and waited for the cops to drive away. When they left the gas station they started down the street with search lights. After passing them they held their breath until he turned the corner.

"Okay," said Damian, "all in one night is a bad idea, we will head home and see how much we have so far."

"Good idea," said Artemis. They started the car and drove home trying to look as unsuspicious as possible. When they arrived they quietly snuck in so as not to wake anyone. There was really no point, the neighbors were yelling at each other again, god they gave it a rest. They went up to the apartment and walked in. When the door shut they walked to the living room and just collapsed. Damian took the couch with Jesse next to him. Artemis and Joey both sat on separate sides of the coffee table.

"I really hope he plans on picking that up tonight," said Damian, crossing his arms, "or at least tomorrow. A string of robberies is bound to be on the news."

"I don't know about you guys, but this calls for a bowl," said Joey, pulling his living room tray out and breaking up the green stuff. Jesse eyed him. "Man, Jesse James, I don't know why you helped us but thanks."

"The thing is I have never done anything like this before, I've always wanted to try but I have been too scared to," he said shyly.

"To be honest, we have never done this before either," said Artemis, "it was a first time for us to."

"But what scares me the most is that I don't feel bad," said Jesse quietly, "it felt so…I just…I felt so ALIVE!"

"Yea, well, you're alive, we are just fucked up," said Damian.

"We have been seeing a therapist after the Joker tortured us and she said that that wasn't what made a crack, that was just the final stick to snap," explained Joey, "turns out it is normal for people with our back ground to start going crazy."

"We. Aren't. Crazy," said Artemis coldly. Joey looked over at her and lifted an eyebrow, she had been acting awful weird lately. Her sentence structure was the same it was now just a bit more aggressive. She seemed to be growing really aggressive all around lately, even her posture was growing more threatening.

"Well, whatever, Dr. Quinnzel is the only one who would have anything to do with us after the world found out the Joker got his daughter. Actually I think the whole word knows you as his daughter by now," said Damian. Artemis had a look of guilt. "It's not your fault," said Damian, putting a hand on her back, "it's his fault."

"Let's count out how much we have so far," said Joey trying to change the subject. He pulled the money out of the bags over the table on top of the Joker cards that were just laying around. After calculating and adding and a huge debate that lead to Joey walking to the corner store with some of the money to buy a calculator, they had $3,400 minus the coast of the calculator, which was $1.49, they came to $3,398. 51. They smoked a bowl to calm their nerves and went to bed.

Artemis cursed herself when she saw the clock read almost 12:30am, she had to be at work by 7am. She shook her head and went to sleep. She had disturbing dreams about falling from a large cliff with the Joker standing over her laughing, that laugh, even in her dreams it scared her.

…………………………………………………

Artemis looked up at the clock tapping her finger, she had half an hour left before she could get out of here. Joey had the day off so all they had to do was wait for Damian to get off work for closing and they would be off to hopefully collect the rest of the money. Get it over with tonight was her wish. In boredom, she turned to the TV on display and watched the News.

"Authorities say that a gang of teenagers robbed two gas stations and a Wal Mart last night. They got away with roughly $3,000. Some say it is the work of gangsters while others believe the Joker is just getting board. If you know anything about these robberies we ask that you please call the Gotham Police department at 555-6078."

"$3,400," corrected Artemis. There was no one around to here her but it made her feel better about it. She banged her head on the desk. A little harder then she meant, she rubbed her forehead shaking her head in hopes of clearing her vision, damn that hurt. She bounded her heel impatiently and finally decided to take a look at what was brought in last night. She walked not the back to take a look at the new merchandise when she heard the door open. She rolled her eyes, great, just before she gets off she gets costumers. She walked in and shrieked at the sight of 5 men dressed in clown masks.

The Joker was the last one to walk in. "Take anything we may need, not everything in the store, just trash the rest of it."

"Got it boss," said one of the clowns picking up a TV.

"Hey," shouted Artemis, "put that back!" She threw a shoe at the back of the henchman's knees causing him to fall over and smash the TV. Artemis smacked her forehead. First he fucked her head up even more than it already was and now he was robbing her! Great! She stood behind the counter with her hands flat on top giving the Joker and irritated look. The Joker smiled and walked her way almost skipping.

"Well, I uh caught your story on the _news_, I was impressed. I would have expected you to try and find a different way to find that money or just not bother at all," he said with a big grin on his face showing off his yellow teeth. He lit a cigarette and walked toward her. "So, uh, can I expect another news story like that one or are you going to start being _boring_ with it?"

"What are you doing Joker," she asked.

"Oh, uh, _that_. Well doll, we needed a new uh hideout so we are going to furnish it so it is at least _liveable_. I would have gotten one in you're building but, uh, I don't think they would be to uppity about me moving in. Found a nice wear house off the docks."

"I'm so happy for you," she said sarcastically, "but why do you have to rob _me_ for it?"

"Um, consider this a sort of…_character building_….that's a good way to put it," he said scratching his head. It was sort of tough explaining something like this.

"WHAT! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING! THIS IS SO NOT COOL! YOU! PUT THAT BACK OR PAY FOR IT YOU CAN'T STEAL THAT! AND YOU OVER THERE! YA YOU CHUCKLES, DON'T TAKE THAT YOU DON'T EVEN NEED IT!"

"But I want it," said one of the henchmen, dropping the yo-yo.

"I don't care," she said. Two men started moving a couch and into a van in the front. Artemis rolled her eyes and walked over, if you're going to do wrong, you better do it right. The Joker watched her amused. She was really something else. "Don't shove the couch in like that," she snapped at the two workers, "you are going to ruin it. This stuff does come off my paycheck and I _do_ have bills to pay!"

"Shouldn't you be in, uh, school or something sweetheart," said the Joker chasing after her.

"Uh, I _was_ in school. But, uh, you dumped me in the middle of the Narrows with Joey and Damian. We don't have a school to go to!" The Joker thought about this for a moment. She could really prove to be problematic in the future with nothing to keep her mind off of things. He watched as she shouted at the men and they tried to ignore her. Finally she gave in and must have realized she was not getting anything back so told them how to fit the furniture in without destroying it. The henchmen looked at him confused and he just nodded. Artemis started having them haul stuff out so she could have them put them in without taking up to much space. She was too smart to _not_ be in school.

"Do you have a dog," she asked one of the henchmen. He just shook his head, "then you don't need a dog cage! Put it back!" The Joker chuckled a bit, that guy had a thing about dog cages, anytime he saw one laying around he had to pick it up, The Joker had several random cages just sitting around not doing anything. He started laughing as she fought with him over the cage. Finally the Joker pulled her away.

"Look, uh, just let them do their job and you worry about doing yours. You are still $2,000 short."

"I'm $1,548.51 short. We didn't take $3,000 we took $3,400 then we had to buy a calculator."

"Uh, sweetheart," said the Joker raising an eye brow, "you were out all night robbing and you _paid_ for it? Why not just **five finger discount** it?" Artemis gave him a blank stare and blinked a couple times. His empty eyes never left her and searched for an answer.

"Let me rob people however _I_ want to! You're not the boss of me," she said crossing her arms.

"uh, yea, I am," he corrected with a twisted smile. She gave a huff and saw Damian walk up. Artemis looked at her watch, he was 15 minutes late.

"Where have you been?"

"Sorry," he mumbled, "slept late. What is going on?"

"We are being robbed, it's your problem now, I'm clocking out and going home. This is way to much craziness to start the day off." She walked away leaving Damian speechless. They were getting robbed and she was just going to go home? He looked over at the Joker and at the van.

"So," he said, "I guess you are the one robbing us?"

"Afraid so," said the Joker with a smile that said differently. His smile fell and he gave Damian a very serious look. "I wouldn'**t** call the, uh, cops if I were you."

"Man, all I want is something with caffeine in it, I'm tired." Damian turned around and went inside. Artemis walked out as he walked in and started down the street. She hugged her purple pea coat around her thin figure, it was getting really cold outside, she would need a new coat. Damn and her shoes were talking to her as she walked down the street, new shoes were needed now, and if her luck wasn't any worse she needed socks to! _The world must hate me_.

She slammed the door behind her and walked across the living room to her room to get some sleep but not without Joey tagging behind her like a puppy when he saw her.

"Hey," said Joey, "what's up Arty." Artemis fell face first in the bed and crawled up to her pillow.

"The Joker robbed us," she said in her pillow.

"Bummer," he said, "when did that happen?"

"Like half an hour before my shift was over. It's Damian's problem now, I left."

"So you just let them take the stuff?"

"No," she groaned, "I tried to stop them. Hell I stopped one of them from taking a yo-yo but he ended up taking a dog cage instead. I should have let him have the stupid toy."

"George is going to be pissed," said Joey, sitting on the couch she had recently moved in the bedroom. Artemis looked up and slowly turned her head toward Joey with a look of anger and confusion.

"Who gives a shit," she said, "the guys a moron. You know yesterday he asked me to put some stuff on the shelf but when I informed him there was nothing we could put out yet he gave me this weird look and said he already put stuff out. He's almost as dumb as our therapist."

"_I_ don't think she is a moron," he said quietly.

"Joey, can I get some sleep?" He nodded and walked out. He turned around to look at her still fully dressed with her coat on. Her long dirty blond hair was curled at the end, her shoes were ripped, her socks had holes in them, and she was thinner than usual. She looked like a fallen angel when she slept, but when she was awake she reminded him of an irritated cat. He smiled a bit and took her ripped up shoes off of her feat. They would have to rob a mall tonight, she deserved to look good, she worked so hard to keep her sanity and keep up with everyday life at the same time.

Jesse was probably going to be with them. He felt his face go hot at the thought of Jesse, why did she like him so much? The guy was a total pussy just looking for a joy ride! He was into the thrill not her. She deserved someone who could understand her and Jesse could not even _begin_ to imagine what she was like. He didn't spend every day with her like _he_ did.

……………………………………….

Damian, Joey, Artemis, and Jesse James stole Jesse's dads car to use for the night. "Okay," said Joey, "I think we should break into the mall tonight."

"Why," asked Artemis.

"Why not? God knows you could use some new stuff," joked Damian.

"Hey, she is pretty just the way she is," said Jesse on her behalf.

"Yea but she could look better," mumbled Joey.

"What," asked Artemis.

"Nothing," he said with a smile.

"Well," said Damian, "the mall it is." They drove out to the mall and parked in the back. They snuck in through the employee door and kicked it in. Joey wore a pirate outfit complete with a head sash, a white shirt, short pants, a pair of leather boots, and a brown vest with a wooden sword on his waist. Jesse wore a renaissance knight's outfit without the armor, mostly just chainmail and such.

Artemis wore a long purple jacket, a black skin tight shirt with a dark blue girdle with black flower lace, A pair of black boots and a purple cowboy hat with a black cross on it. Damian wore an Indian outfit and they all spread out.

Artemis hit hot topic and tore her shoes off and rushed for a pair of flat knee highs. She then grabbed several shirts, skirts, pants, jackets, shoes, and a necklace that caught her eye. It was silver with a bat that held a green crystal in its mouth. She then turned her attention to the vault. She had to get in there so she grabbed her crowbar and pried it open. She collected all the cash and left for the van.

Damian hit the pack sun and got himself some cloths and a warmer jacket as well, Joey rummaged the Spensers and Jesse took over the dippin' dots station. When they all met up back at the van and sat in the parking lot for a moment. Artemis and Joey both climbed on top of the van while Damian sat in the van with the doors open and Jesse next to him.

"The stars are bright," said Artemis, "I wonder if mom is watching over us right now."

"Maybe she is up there in the stars," said Joey, "looking down at us."

"Doubt it," said Damian, "she is probably burning in hell."

"That's not really a good thing to say about someone's dead mother," said Jesse.

"I'll forgive you for that comment only because you never had the misfortune of meeting her mother," said Joey. Damian and Artemis laughed. Artemis's smile melted. She may have hated her mother but she missed her terribly. Just then they heard the screeching of tires and looked over to see a black van coming their way. "Cops," asked Joey.

"No," said Damian, "it has a ferries wheel on the side, I think it's the Joker."

"Oh great," said Artemis, "what could he possibly want here?" She was wrapped up in her new coat; a long purple coat with a fuzzy coat down the neck and on the arm cuffs that had an elaborate Celtic knot on the back. Her cowboy hat still sat on her head and the necklace now hung from her neck giving her a now elegant look and her torn shoes were still sitting in the hot topic.

She watched as the van swerved next to them and the back door opened to reveal the Joker. He motioned for them to get in the van in a hurry. Joey and Artemis both jumped off their car and all four piled into the Jokers ride. "What about my dads van," whined Jesse as they got in. The Joker grabbed him by the collar and shoved him in. The Joker had already grabbed the other bags of money from their apartment and was just giving them a ride home, they didn't know that though.

"Good job," he said with a slight laugh, "didn't think you would actually pull it off."

"Well, it's not the end of the week yet," said Joey.

"You're right," said the Joker, "but I figured sense you have the money already, why not collect? Hmm? Relax, I'm just taking you home, who is _this_?"

"This is Jesse James," said Joey, "our land lords son. We ran into him yesterday." The van came to a sudden hault, but they couldn't have reached home yet, they just left the parking lot! A black fist came through the ruff and the Joker swung the doors open blade out. "Stay," he ordered the teens. They sat and watched as non other than Batman jumped in front of the Joker and ready for the up coming fight!

…………………………………

Okay so next time we have an epic battle and Gordon's going to reveal the betrayal of Artemis, Joey, and Damian. It's going to be an emotional roller coaster filled with humor, excitement, and torture! Stay tuned!


	11. Dr Jack Napier

Right on! Still no reviews and I'm starting to take it personally. We are about to get into some really deep shit now and it's not going to be a pretty chapter. I hope you are ready for this!!!! HAhahaha sorry over glorifying it is a bad habit. So here is your update.

Chapter 10

Batman jumped off the top of the van and landed on the Joker who rolled across the ground. He jumped up and attempted to stab batman but batman ducked. Batman punched the Joker in the face and the Joker kicked him in the side with his shoe blade. As the two fought with each other non stop the four still in the van watched in anticipation. It was hard to tell which was the better fighter. Both obviously knew what they where doing but the Joker played dirty. Artemis shook her head in disbelief. How was it that batman stuck to his weird little coat of honor?

Then the police arrived and pointed guns at them. Batman ran out of the way and jumped into his kick ass car leaving the Joker to the police. They surrounded him and cuffed him, putting him in the car. Gordon turned to Damian, Jesse, Artemis, and Joey but they freaked out and scampered out of the van. They ran for Jesse's and drove off in a real hurry. Gordon gave a sigh of frustration.

"I don't understand it," said Gordon to one of the police officers, "they tell us everything but the Joker's name and then they freak out and run."

"They are just scared," said his partener (what's that guys name anyway? The one he used as a hostage for a phone call in TDK?), "besides, they robbed several stores and by the looks of it the mall, they are scared of getting caught and arrested." The Joker was listening to the conversation as they put him in the squad car. He had a dark look on his face. They told the police almost everything, he would have to punish them for that, and who was that guy they were with?

……………………………………..

"Police say they have the Joker in custody and will no longer be continuing the pursuit for the convenient store robbers even though they hit the mall that night. Authorities found the money in the Joker's vehicle stating that the robbers were a bunch of teenagers being stalked by the Joker. Further news on the Joker is not yet available."

Artemis rolled over off the couch and headed for the kitchen. She got a glass of water and went back to the livingroom to change the channel until the news story came back.

"This just end. It seems that the Joker has escaped the precinct again causing yet another explotion to their wall and is on the loose. The teenagers responsible are asked to go directly to the police station for protection." Artemis needed no other explanation from the anchor man. She ran into Joey and Damians rooms telling them to get up.

"What's going on," asked Joey, coming out.

"The Joker just got to the police station and broke out again already! I think he knows we told Gordon, they showed him on the news and he was pissed off," responded Artemis. Damian grabbed the keys and they rushed for the door. But when they opened it the Joker was already standing in the doorway giving them the meanest look he could manage.

The three backed off slowly as he walked toward them. Three clown masked men walked in and grabbed them. "It _seems_ you three really like to, uh, **talk** a lot. Oh I know about what the _**commissioner **_knows. I am just going to have to teach you three a, uh, _lesson_ about **silence**."

…………………………..

Artemis woke up in a dark room with a pounding head ache. She reached up to grab her head but noticed her arms were restrained. She looked down and saw they were strapped down on a chair, a dentist chair? She looked around and heard the laugher that sent chills down her spine. The Joker had her and she couldn't move.

He walked up dressed up as an awkward looking dentist with a face mask on and a drill in hand. "Open wide," he said with plenty of cheer in his voice to make someone sick. Artemis just shook her head, no way, not with that drill in his hands. "Don't worry, sweetheart, we are just going to, uh, make sure those teeth are **bright and shiney**." He grabbed her nose and made sure she couldn't breathe.

She tried to hold her breath. Her lungs felt ready to burst as her face was about to go blue. Maybe she could knock herself out? No such luck, finally her body gave up and she had to open her mouth and take a deep breath. He forced her mouth to stay open and observed her teeth for a moment a little closer then she liked, damn her for not flossing!

"Well, well, well, what do we have here? A cavity? Let's see if we can **drill** it out, hmm?" Artemis's eyes went wide as he turned on the drill and brought it close to her mouth as slow as he could. She tried to push herself up the chair and breathed heavily. This was going to really hurt.

That was an exaggeration, an extreme exaggeration. The pain shot through her mouth like fire from Hell. She screamed as he drilled on her cavity and no Novocain to kill the pain. She felt hot tears run down her face. It was the first time she had cried in a long time. The Joker finally stopped and Artemis started to breathe heavily. This was the worst thing he had done to her yet.

"Doll," he said standing up strait and picking up a small white water hose like the one at the dentist, that was apropriate , "I don't like squealers." He started to spray it in her mouth causing her to choke on the water. "You seem to have this idea that they can lock me away and never bother you again." He started drilling at her tooth again and she screamed in pain. This time it wasn't on a cavity it was on a healthy back tooth. He drilled it right down to the nerve and she screamed even louder. "I'm just showing you what happens when you, uh, use that big **mouth** of yours. Telling on people is dangerous. Next time, uh, make sure you got an ace in the whole." He drilled on another back tooth to the nerve. Artemis finally passed out from the pain. "Hmm, only three teeth." He turned to leave the room, one down, two to go.

……………………………………..

Joey had his hands and feet tied together as he sat on the floor leaning against a wall. He looked around the room having no idea how he got there. He heard a door creaking open and he readied himself for the worst. The Joker came in with what looked to be a small knife. _Oh great, he is going to kill me!_ He felt his heart stop as the Joker kneeled to his level.

"Joey, right," he said. Joey just nodded his head. "Well, I'm guessing you have no idea why you are hear do you?" Joey shook his head. The Joker's eyes scanned the blade in his hand. He lifted it just above Joey's brow and slowly drug it down. Joey hissed in pain, that was going to scar. He closed his eyes and wimpered. "Ah, ah, ah, **eyes open**," he growled. Joey did not comply.

"Alright," he said. He slashed the knife down Joey's eye and he screamed out in pain. "Now, **Look. At. Me.**" Joey looked up in fear. "_That's better_," he said with a twisted smile. "You're lucky, I wasn't quite so nice to Artemis. But, uh, you tell Gordon any more information, and you just might lose that other eye as well as a tongue. Got it?" J

oey opened his mouth to say something but the words didn't come out. The Joker grabbed his tongue and placed the blade on it. Joey furiously nodded his head looking at the edge of tears. The Joke let go of his tongue and patted his head. The then took the hilt of the knife and brought it violently down on Joey's head knocking him out.

………………………………

Damian was woken from his black out by a sharp pain in his ear. He opened his eyes and saw the Joker standing over him with dark empty eyes. Damian tried to scoot back but the wall was in his way. The Joker reached down and smacked him in the same ear. He heard ringing in his ear and was getting dizzy.

"So," said the Joker in a dark tone, "thought you would, uh, tell Gordon on me, hmm? Well, no one likes a tattle tale." Again the Joker smacked him right in the same ear. Damian hissed in pain and tried to look strait but was growing really dizzy. The Joker smacked him in the ear again and this time for a brief moment everything went white.

"I. Don't. Like. Song birds." Again, only much harder, he smacked him in the ear and Damian's hearing was getting a bit fuzzy in that ear. He reached around to hit him in the ear again when Damian cracked.

"Please," he begged, "don't! Stop, for God's sake, stop!"

"Sorry kid, I'm an atheist." And the Joker smacked him in the ear. His ear was on fire. He felt a warm liquid crawl down his skin. SMACK! Damian looked up through half closed eyes and he was on the verge of really loosing it. He saw blood on the Joker's hand, his blood, blood from his ear. Wicked laughter filled his head as he slowly started slipping out of consciousness. The Joker stood up and kicked him in the ear and Damian was out. _I've got to stop knocking them out so fast_ he thought to himself.

…………………………….

Once again they found themselves in a hospital. Only this time they were all in the hospital bed. Artemis had gauze stuffed in her mouth and was told to see a dentist about it. Damian had the side of his head bandaged and learned that he would never again hear out of his right ear. Joey had an eye patch over his now missing eye but the doctor put a glass one in as a replacement.

"Why in God's name did we tell Gordon anything," mumbled Damian.

"Because we're stupid," said Joey.

"No," said Artemis behind her gauze, "jus' ah bunch ah fool."

"At least they are going to release us today instead of keeping us," said Damian, "what did the doctor say anyway, He was on my deaf side."

"Said he wash goin' tah call up Gow'on an infow' 'im dat da 'okew gah ush," said Artemis looking down at her hands as she twisted her thumbs and licked her lips.

"What," asked Damian.

"Doc's callin up Gordon. I'm not saying a damn thing," said Joey, "I'm going to pretend to be asleep until he leaves."

"I' nah tewin' 'im shi'," said Artemis, "nah, go'a ge' _my_ teef dwill'd agai'."

"What,' asked Damina.

"I didn't quite understand her," said Joey, "she's talking through a bunch of cotton."

"Why?"

"I think it's something like he drilled her teeth. Her speech is all fucked up."

"Are you okay Artemis," he asked turning his head to hear her.

"No," she said crossing her arms, "i' wash fuck'd up."

"He took my damn eye out," said Joey.

"What," asked Damian now turning toward Joey.

"He cut out my eye. I have a glass one now."

"Oh, he beat me in the ear till it went deaf."

"I no'iced," said Artemis. Joey chuckled a bit.

"What," asked Damian.

"You're deaf alright," said Joey. Artemis chuckled a bit and Damian turned his head to hear Joey but he was silent.

"What are you guys talking about," he said.

"Noffin'," said Artemis, "jus' as'less oke," she said with a bloody smile that had gauze sticking out here and there.

"Don't smile," said Damian trying not to laugh, "you're mouth is really messed up."

"Almost as fucked up as your hearing," said Joey. Artemis started laughing again, it really wasn't funny, or _polite_.

"You guys are assholes," said Damian, "I'm going to sleep."

The door opened and Gordon came in with a look of harassment and concern for them. Of course Joey could not see out of his right eye so did not see Gordon standing there. "Hey," said Gordon. Artemis looked up at him and Joey spun his head around to see Gordon. Damian paid no heed, as he could not hear Gordon. "Are you guys okay?"

"No," said Joey.

"I cah' tah'k wigh' and 'oey cah' shee an' 'amia' cah' heaw."

"Okay," said Gordon, "Damian are you guys okay?" Artemis gave a huff of defeat and shook her head. Damian did not even look in his direction.

"Damian can't hear out his right ear," said Joey, "you should try the other side. It's no use, none of us are telling you anything anymore. The Joker made it very clear that we should stay quiet about it."

"Please," said Gordon, "I need you to tell me so we can put him away for good. Where did he take you?"

"It's a secret," said Joey, "we aren't telling anyone anything. I slipped in the kitchen, Damian got hit in the ear with a door knob, and Artemis fell down the stairs!"

"A't wah pi'ifu," said Artemis, "no ma'ews a' aw'."

"Oh," said Joey, "My _apologies_ 'Ms. Timothy Tooth'. I'm sorry Gordon but we can't tell you anything, the Joker's rules. You understand right?"

"But we are so close," Gordon pressed. Damian looked up and was startled to see Gordon.

"Commissioner, when did you get here," he asked, turning his head to hear.

"Just now. What happened to you guys?"

"I don't know," he said looking around aimlessly. Gordon pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Shah-wee," said Artemis giving him a sad smile, "to shca'de."

"The Joker didn't tell you anything that might help us, you didn't see anything that would help us find him," he asked.

"Sorry," said Damian, "I'm deaf now."

"I can't see anything," said Joey, "and Artemis has lost the ability to speak clearly." Gordon nodded sadly and got up to leave. They watched him go. Before leaving he turned around and said "I can't say I'm not disappointed, but thank you for the help from earlier." With that he left.

"What did he say," asked Damian.

………………………………………..

They were released and went home. Artemis was given pain pills, Damian was given a hearing aid, and Joey got glass cleaner for his new eye. He thought it was a bad joke until the doctor explained that he needed to keep his new eyeball clean.

Jesse came to their apartment after hearing about the mysterious kidnapping. "You guys," he said, "we have to tell the police. We need to make sure he gets locked up!"

"You will do no such thing," said Artemis, having the ability to talk now that she had pain pills and no gauze in her mouth, "no police!"

"Artemis, look at you, you have wholes in your teeth, Joey is missing an eye and Damian can't hear!"

"I heard _that_," he said from the kitchen.

"Regardless, you need to tell Gordon the truth! I'm going to tell if you don't," he said.

"Why," asked Joey standing up, "we told you no police! You wanted a little excitement, well you got it jackass!" Jesse James turned around to leave. Artemis stood and pulled the purple butterfly clip out of her hair revealing a small blade she had hidden on it. She quickly walked up to him and grabbed his shoulder. He turned around and admired her long beautiful hair.

She put her hand up to his face and stared him strait in the eyes. "If you tell, he will come after you next."

"I'm willing to take that chance," he breathed. She pulled him into a warm embrace.

"I'm not," she whispered in his ear. She gave him a kiss and plunged the knife in his back. It was so sudden and unexpected that he couldn't even gasp. He backed up a couple of steps before falling to the floor looking up. He choked on his own blood. Damian and Joey stood over him and both shot him till he no longer breathed.

Artemis started to cry hysterically. Damian pulled her to him and let her cry in his chest as tears slowly crawled down his face. Joey hugged both of his best friends and started to cry to. It was all too much.

"I can't believe we just killed someone," said Joey. At that moment morning had turned quickly to panic. Their eyes flung open and they slowly looked down at the body. They pushed away from each other and started looking around frantically for a place to hide him.

"Where are his parents," asked Damian. Artemis looked at the trash can and at the body, dammit Jesse James was to big!

"His dad went to check on one of his other buildings and his mom is out grocery shopping," she said walking around frantically.

"How do you know," asked Damian.

"I heard them talking about it last night walking by their apartment."

"Oh, man, oh, man, oh man, what should we do with the body," said Joey, "dude! My weed is wearing off! I'm freaking out dude!" Artemis walked over to him and slapped him across the face.

"Pull yourself together man! We will tell his parents he went to stay at a friend's house and we haven't seen him sense. Let's take him to our hometown to one of the farms and feed him to someone's pigs!"

"Wow," said Damian, "did you just come up with that?"

…………………….

They drove to their home town to one of the farms. One in particular had a large pig farm that had pigs over running the pen all the time in large numbers. They parked behind the barn and pulled Jesse's dead body out of the trunk. The three hauled him off and threw him into the pig pen and watched as the pigs began to devour him.

"Oh my god, is that his brain," asked Damian in disgust.

"I can't tell, I think his liver just made its way like two feet from his body," said Artemis.

"Where did you guys go," asked Joey, "I hear you but I can't see you."

"Behind you moron," said Artemis.

"What," asked Damian. Artemis just shook her head and turned her attention to the pigs, they were less frustrating. Depression settled in as she watched the future father of her children get eaten up by a bunch of pigs. She closed her eyes praying it was all a bad dream but she knew better. The only time she had a dream was when she didn't want to leave it. The nightmares were real.

They all sat in silence until he was completely devoured. "You guys hear something," asked Damian. Artemis and Joey looked around but saw nothing. They exchanged looks and Artemis leaned into his deaf ear.

"You're sick," she whispered, "you have an illness, this is your diseased state." Joey tried not to smile as Damian continued to look around for the phantom noise. "The Joker is standing right beside you, he's going to kill you, run away. Everything you know is a lie, Santa is real, you have AIDS, New Jersey doesn't exist." Joey was having a hard time holding the laughter in. It wasn't really the most decent thing for her to do but it was sure funny. Finally he busted out laughing. Damian turned around to the other two.

"What where you guys saying," he asked.

"Nothing," said Artemis, "only that it is time to go."

"Okay," he said turning around to walk away. The two busted out with giggles as he walked away completely oblivious.

………………………………………….

"YOU GUYS DID WHAT," roared Dr. Quinnzel. The three jumped at her fury. "Do you realize that you committed a murder?"

"We do, Damian is just a little bit simple," said Joey. Dr. Quinnzel gave him an odd look when Damian had no reply. "He's deaf in that ear now," said Joey. Harleen nodded.

"Okay," she said, "and you're manners?" Artemis sighed, she had openly showed her dislike for Harleen before.

"Okay," said Artemis now standing, "I'm out of here. We aren't getting any better, you obviously can't help us."

"Maybe the problem is you don't _want_ to be helped," said Harleen, eyeing Artemis. Artemis stopped in her tracks. She ran her teeth across the wholes in her mouth, it had been a week and she still failed to see a dentist or even take the pain pills. After a while she managed to ignore the pain she was in. "I can't help you guys if you don't want to. It's a waist of my time and your money. If you three would rather slip into insanity then let it be, stop coming here, if you don't I will see you next week."

"Are you going to give us something to work on over the week," asked Damian. Harleen turned around to her appointment book to see who her next patient was.

"Are you going to be here next week?" Silence. "I didn't think so. Look, if you want something to do over the week, find yourself some nice strait jackets. I'm starting my real case just as soon as he arrives. They haven't told me who yet but they said he was a dangerous subject."

"So you are a resident now," said Joey happily, "congratulations."

"Why are you congratulating me? I failed you guys."

"No you didn't," said Artemis very quietly, "_we _failed _you_." And with that she left with Damian and Joey right behind her.

"Sorry we waisted you're time," said Joey before leaving.

…………………………………………

Ooooo! Good stuff, moving on now!


	12. Step Three: Question Everything

Alright! I'm smoked, stoked, and ready to go! I even got a review so today was a good day. I even got a review this time.

Bloodystains: if you draw Artemis send me a copy!

Chapter 12

"So, now what do we do," asked Damian. Artemis and Joey both spun around in shock. As they left Arkham no one had spoken a single word. But when Damian asked what they should do it threw them off guard. Damian always had an answer for almost any problem and here he was asking for a change. Not a pleasant change.

"I-I-I don't really know," said Joey, "Do we let the craziness just take over?"

"Why not," said Artemis, now turning around to head for the car, "the madness won't leave us alone. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

"I guess we aren't going to try a different doctor then," said Damian shrugging.

"Why bother," said Joey, now sulking, "we will probably fail that one to."

"A good point," said Artemis, "but now we won't have anything to do with our Mondays."

"I'm a little more worried about our mental state then our Monday's," said Damian.

"Why do you guys even care anymore? It's going to take over, no sense fighting it, obviously the Joker's got it more right than _we_ do."

"That doesn't mean we should just give up, Artemis, we just really need to fight this."

"Damian, you've lost your damned mind! Haven't you noticed that the more we fight it the worse he makes it? Think about it, he started out just stalking us with a few cards here and there. Then he just toyed with us and now this!"

"Hey, you guys, look on the car window," shouted Joey. The two stopped their fighting to see yet another Joker card on the window. "I'm going to buy a book and start a collection book," he said peeling it off attached to a note.

"Why not," said Artemis, "we have six of these things now. What's that note say?"

Damian opened it and read it out loud.

_Joker here,_

_When you kids are done playing doctor with Quinnzel you might wanna turn on the news. Your new little friend seems to have disappeared. I wonder who it was, hmm, you kids been up to some mischief! Now down to business. Don't worry, this will be an easy one, I just need you to take the brief case in your car to Gordon. Try not to tag his wall this time, hmm._

Artemis opened the trunk and saw a regular looking brief case. "Should we open it," she asked observing it.

"There is a P.S.," said Damian, "it says '_No, you shouldn't open it'_."

"Well that answers that question," said Joey climbing into the car, "whatever man let's just get this over with. I have other things to do I work today."

"Yea," said Artemis, "I'm catching up on sleep."

"What," asked Damian climbing into the driver's seat.

"We are going to Gordon's you useless, deaf, moron," whispered Joey in what he thought was Damian's bad ear. But we all know how good Joey's memory is. Damian threw a cup at Joey on his blind side who gave him a dirty look.

"What," asked Damian as if it wasn't him, "what are you looking at me for? I didn't do it, man. Somebody's throwing stuff, I don't know, we going to Gordon's or what?" Artemis tried to hold back a giggle. Those two cracked her up sometimes. "What are _you_ giggling about over there," Damian asked Artemis. She just shook her head.

They drove down to Gordon's apartment. The supposed death threat was still on the wall. They smiled at the memory. People still believed the Joker was out to get Gordon, several weeks and the poor guy jumped at every motion, it was too funny. They walked up to the door with suitcase in hand. Attached to the suit case was a Joker's card much like the one they had on the car window. Artemis knocked on the door and waited patiently.

Joey and Damian where shoving each other for whatever reason boys do that. Gordon answered the door and was shocked to see them. "Oh, Artemis, Damian, Joey, hello. Is there something I can help you with?"

"We were told to give this to you," said Artemis handing him the briefcase. He observed the Joker's card on it.

"Who told you to," he asked.

"Our car window," she said. Artemis, Joey, and Damian started laughing at the comment.

"You just sounded like a total nut case," said Joey, "we delivered this cause the car told us to."

"Oh, I know, that is so not what I meant. I mean there was a note on the car that told us to," said Artemis fighting past her fit of giggles. Gordon observed them with hard eyes but they barely seemed to notice. He slowly opened the case and dropped it with a look of 'I'm going to be sick' written on his face. The three stopped laughing and looked down to see Jesse James's head. Artemis about fainted. Joey caught her and Damian fanned her a bit. Gordon picked up a note and read it.

_Hey Gordon,_

_Just wanted you to know that it wasn't me who spray painted your wall. Come on that's just not my style, _this_ is more my style. The three guilty are standing before you and I even got the pictures to prove it. I think they need some lock up time, don't you, ahahahhahaha. Tell Artemis I love her ;)_

_Love,_

_Joker_

"I think you three need to come with me," said Gordon advancing on them. The three got a very bad feeling and shot to the car and drove off. Gordon got into his police car to follow when a police report came through the CB radio.

"We got the Joker at Gotham Bank! We have him surrounded and we need back up!" Gordon was stuck between the Joker or the new blood stirring things up in Gotham. Plus he needed to find out who's head that was. He sighed and went after the teens in hopes that Batman will show up.

………………………………….

To say things went according to plan for the Joker would be a lie. He planned on Batman not showing up during they day time, he planned Gordon would go after the kids instead of him, and he planned on getting away. But even though Gordon did go after the kids, batman showed up, he was surrounded, and it didn't look like a getaway. If batman had _not_ shown up he would have gotten away without breaking a sweat, but he has this tendency to make things really difficult.

The Joker cursed himself, he really needed to plan that one better. Not his best moment but shit happens. When the Joker arrived he was searched for weapons and locked in a cell. Gordon then showed up with the three teens in tow.

"Who are these kids," asked his partner, "bunch of trouble makers?"

"Potentially dangerous trouble makers," corrected Gordon, "I think they are working with the Joker. Have them searched and I want them all in different cells and don't pair any of them with the Joker." They were searched and all locked up separately. The Joker, Damian, Joey, and Artemis all were in separate cells but they were all in one room.

First they searched Artemis's purple coat. Taking out a few blades, a shot gun, and a butterfly clip with a knife in the end that was in her hair.

Damian had a switch knife and pistol on his person. Joey had a blade and a couple of small hand guns. Hey, if you're going to be a criminal, you might as well come prepared. Gordon walked up to them with the pictures in hand.

"Are these pictures of you three,' he asked the teens. Artemis snatched one of the pictures in shock, and then a small smile crept on her face. "I take that as a yes," he said a bit unnerved by her reflexes.

"What is it," asked Joey reaching through the bars to see. Artemis handed it to him and Damian looked over to get a look. "Well, lookie there, that sure as hell is us. First time we were caught on camera."

"That's a terrible snap shot of me," complained Damian.

"How about we go back and do it again so whoever took the picture can get you at a better angle," said Artemis sarcastically.

"No thanks, but I appreciate the offer," he said. Artemis just give him a big smile with a thumbs up. The Joker laughed at their childish antics.

"_I_ took the picture," he said. Damian, Joey, and Artemis all turned their heads in his direction.

"Why in Hells name would you give Gordon that kind of picture," asked Joey.

"_When_ in Hells name did you find the time to take that picture," asked Artemis.

"Don't ask like your question was better," argued Joey shaking his head. Artemis and Joker both just laughed at him.

"Well, her question_ was_ a better question," said Damian.

"Nobody here is talking to you," said Joey, "shut up you have no friends!"

"What?"

"What do you mean 'what'?"

"Talk into my good ear."

"I said, what do you mean 'what'?"

"Just shut up, your blind, okay, nobody needs you go home."

"Gladly," said Joey laughing now.

"Do you three have any idea how serious this is," shouted Gordon.

"Jeez, settle down man, it was a joke," said Damian.

"Yea, there was no actually death threat against anyone," said Joey, "just blowing some stress out dude, chill." Gordon pinched the bridge of his nose and walked out. He needed a cup of coffee.

"God, you would think we tried to off him," said Joey, "so serious."

"Yea, no shit, he needs to relax a bit, maybe get off the coffee," said Damian.

"He's a damned dirty junky," said Joey shaking his head.

"No comment," said Artemis.

"Uh, you kids _might_ want to keep it **down**__here. They, uh, don't like a lot of _**talking**_ here," said the Joker.

"Why," said Artemis, "what's going to happen if we talk a lot?"

"Hey," shouted Gordon's partner, "keep it down. This is jail, not a social club."

"Why, what are you going to do about it," asked Joey with genuine curiosity.

"I'll put you in the drunk tank," he said, "how would you like to be locked up with a bunch of angry drunks?"

"That would kind of suck," said Joey.

"Yea, so keep it down."

"How long have you been doing this job," asked Artemis. Gordon's partner slowly walked over to her and looked her hard in the face. He turned around and looked at the Joker with the same suspicion.

"You look an awful lot like him," said Gordon's partner, "you guys related somehow?"

"I asked you first," she said with a smile.

"I'm not going to let you play with my mind. I already made that mistake with this clown over here. I won't make it twice." Artemis put her hands up defensively.

"Hey," she said, "I only asked how long you had this job, I wasn't trying to get into your head or anything. If you don't want to tell me you don't have to."

"The lady just asked you a question, man, don't need to act like a total dick about it," said Joey. Gordon's partner looked around at the four inmates. Even the Joker was giving him a disapproving look.

"This is ridiculous," he grumbled, walking back over to the desk. The four sat around silently. Joey dug around in his pockets and found one that the police overlooked. He pulled out a bag of marbles! He had been searching for those for ages! He walked over to Damians cell and tapped in on the shoulder. This caught the Jokers attention. Joey looked over at the Joker who tried to get Artemis's attention but she was off in space somewhere.

"Psst," said the Joker waving his arms around. Artemis looked over at him and at the other two. She walked closer to the Joker's cell keeping an eye on the angry cop. Joey pulled out the marbles and threw one across the room. It had just missed the partner's head and hit the wall.

Gordon's partner spun around to find the sound than back at the inmates. They all seemed to be minding their own business but he didn't trust them. He picked up a book to read and tried to ignore the snickers coming from the cell.

Joker signaled to Joey to hand him on. He threw it and it hit the police officers book. He put the book down and saw the inmates just sort of hanging out in their own little corners of their cells. He gave a sigh of frustration. The four started giggling again at him. It was Damian's turn to throw a marble and it hit his desk bouncing across the room.

The police man was growing really tired of this and looked up. A marble was coming strait to his face and hit him right in between the eyes. The four prisoners busted up laughing at the stupid look on his face. Time to end this. He stood up and walked over to Artemis's cage and stared her strait in the eyes.

She held the stare until he finally gave in. "I'm taking you to the tank," he said coldly. He opened the door and Artemis backed up a bit. At that moment Gordon had come in a seen what was happening. He ran over and slammed the door shut pulling the man out.

"Have you lost your mind," he hissed.

"I'm taking the damned girl to the drunk tank!"

"You can't do that! We shouldn't even have her _here_. If you put her in their she could get raped, she is the only girl in the whole building!"

"Then **why** is she _here,_" asked the Joker with a very angry look. Gordon looked over at him. The look he gave him was so dark and empty it sent shivers down his spine. That cold hearted look never failed to frighten Gordon. He stood his ground though, he swallowed his fear and stepped up to the Joker. The other four in the room watched the scene curiously.

"What does it matter to you," he asked, "do you know these kids?"

"Uh, as a matter of **fact** the pretty young lady across from me is my, uh, daughter, and if you hurt her **You. Will. Pay.**" Gordon was throw off guard with nothing to say. He wasn't sure what to expect, that wasn't it. True, he knew Artemis was his father, but he didn't think he would actually _care_ enough for her or her well being for that matter. Gordon walked over to Artemis's cell and unlocked it. The Joker's eyes never left him. Gordon could feel them burning wholes through him. He should probably be careful with this one.

He opened it and stepped forward. "Ms. Napier, if you would please, we need to take you to the interrogation room." Artemis seemed to be thinking about it. She wasn't sure if she should come or not, she wasn't going to say anything that was for sure, not to mention she wanted to make this other officers life a living hell for some reason.

"That depends," she said, "what am _I_ getting out of it?"

"A moment to yourself," he suggested with a smile.

"A moment? Not very long but I guess that's something. My guess is your Best Bat Friend Forever will be there? Or is he most wanted today? It's so hard to tell." She laughed at his distressed look. She had not had this kind of fun ever. For some reason she really had it in her to send these people over the edge and she wanted to enjoy it. "Don't worry," she said, "I'll amuse myself. Even come quietly if you would prefer it that way."

"Thank you Artemis," he said with a sigh of relief. She stood back as they opened the door and even let Gordon hand cuff her. He watched her closely but she wasn't struggling or even looking at him, she was far off in her own little world, letting her mind dance to whatever tune she wished and at that moment that tune was that of her mother still alive. Oh if she only knew where Artemis was now she would turn over in her grave.

He put her in the room and she sat at the table and waited patiently. The door opened and batman stepped in. She watched him carefully as he walked in and stood before her. "Well, well, well," she said, "I've heard an awful lot about you."

"What is the Jokers name," was his first question.

"What," she asked.

"I asked 'what is the Joker's real name'," he said impatiently.

"Can't you ask in a normal voice? No one understands what you are saying," she said with a ghost of a smile on her face. He was then in her face and shouting.

"TELL ME," he said. When she said nothing he pulled her over the table by her shirt collar and sat her on the table.

"Uh, uh, not without dinner," she mocked. He picked her up and threw her across the floor forgetting who he was talking to. It didn't really matter. If what Gordon said was correct this was the Joker's daughter and probably just as dangerous. She lay on the floor laughing at him. "Um, I'm a woman, you really should treat me better." He walked over her menacingly and she didn't even back away. She seemed rather excited at the moment; she certainly wasn't scared, not of him.

"Please, Artemis, I need you to tell me. We can lock him away and he won't hurt you anymore."

"Like I haven't heard that one before," she said rolling her eyes, "besides, I don't know if you noticed, but he is already sitting in a cell. I figured by now his name isn't all that important. What good is a dead man's name anyway?" Batman stared down at her for a moment then walked off. Artemis sat shocked on the floor. "You give up to easy," she said before he left.

"No," he said, "I have better things to do than deal with another dead end. You are just like him, just as twisted and disturbed. Trying to get information from you would be like me trying to get information out of the Joker."

"I am not," she whispered, mostly to herself.

"Then explain yourself."

"I can't," she said silently, "I don't really know what I'm doing, I'm just doing it."

"Then stop now before it's to late. Realize the people you are hurting."

"Why should I care," she said now fighting tears, "they hurt me first."

"The innocent people of Gotham didn't do this to you," growled Batman.

"Tell me something," she said lazily, "what is it that _Gotham_ has done for you, hmm?" She stood up and faced Batman. "Have they ever thanked you for what you do for them? Aren't they chasing you down and trying to imprison you even though nightly you are out on the streets trying to keep them safe? Why don't you try, uh, explaining _yourself_ before you ask me what my reasons are?" Batman stood silent for a long moment but turned to leave. Artemis smiled, she got to him alright, that little thought will be stuck in his mind for a while. Hell, she might actually get an answer to her question to him. Why did he do it?

Gordon put her back in her cell with a satisfied smile on her face.

……………………………………

Bruce sat in the bat cave researching on Artemis Napier. The things he learned about her where making him start to wonder. This girl truly had no love for humanity, no wonder why, humanity never gave her any love. Then he thought back to her question '_What is it that _Gotham_ has done for you, hmm?"_ The question burned him. He started to realized that the people of Gotham were really ungreatful.

Alfred watched him in curiosity. Bruce told him what Artemis had said to him and Alfred could tell by the look on his face that Bruce was starting to wonder the answer to her questions. He walked over to Bruce feeling like he should say something.

"Just remember, master Bruce, the enemy will say anything to get your eyes off your goal." Bruce nodded. Alfred could tell that he wasn't totally convinced.

…………………………….

Okay, end of da chapter!


	13. Step Four: Never forget to laugh

Alright we are going to good places in this chapter. I'm totally burnt and ready to go! Even though I don't get many reviews that's cool, I'm a newbie, I understand. Anyway thank you for taking the time to read it anyway. Here is your chapter!

READ: Don't get lost we are just going back in time a bit!

Chapter 13

Artemis was put back in her cell with a satisfied smile. Although she was still locked in the cell, every little victory counted, and tonight the score was Artemis 1 Batman nothing! Gordon went and pulled Damian out of his cell to take to the interrogation room. He may need to wait a little longer, batman looked shaken up.

When Gordon left the Joker and Joey started in on the questions she was not expecting.

"Was Batsyyy there," asked the Joker.

"What did they ask you," asked Joey.

"What did you tell them, doll?"

"Did they hurt you?"

"If they did I'll **kill** them!"

"Hey," said Gordon's partner, "keep it down!"

"Woop Woop," shouted Artemis.

"Dark Lotus till I'm dead in the ground," shouted Joey.

"Hey, ICP is not allowed! Knock it off or I will put you in the drunk tank!" (Isn't that shit gay!)

"Hey chicken you can't put _me_ in that cell," taunted Artemis. Gordon's partner sighed in frustration and went back to his book. The three grew silent for a moment watching him. Gordon's partner felt uncomfortable.

Artemis sat on the floor with her back to the bars bouncing her leg in anticipation watching the gray wall in front of her. The Joker was sitting down with his feet out in front of him focused on the ground running his tongue along the scars inside his mouth in boredom. Joey was crashed out on the floor. The moments passed slowly and uneventfully.

Finally the Joker got up catching Artemis's attention. Nothing interesting, he was just pacing his cell. Artemis got up and looked at the bars in front of her. She checked a couple bars to see if they wiggled or not. She jumped up on the bar and started climbing for the roof. The Joker stopped to watch her with amusement.

Gordon's partner heard the Joker start to chuckle a bit and looked up to see Artemis climbing around in her cell like a monkey. He watched as she switched from one bar to the other careful to not fall. He got up and paced toward her quickly. "Hey," he shouted, "get down from there!" He hit her knee with a magazine he had rolled up in his hand and she jumped off.

"Police violence! Police violence! I been hit by the po-po! Injustice and rights infringement," shouted Artemis. The Joker started laughing and Joey got up looking around to see what all the commotion was about. She ran to the other side of her cell with a fake look of fear. "Please don't tazer me officer!" She started up laughing along with the Joker and Joey just looked really confused.

"What is wrong with you," shouted Gordon's partner. Artemis stopped laughing but gave him the biggest grin she could manage.

"I'm bored," she said. Gordon's partner growled a bit and walked back to his cell.

"Hey, officer, can I ask you something," asked Joey as he walked over. The officer looked up really annoyed.

"Well I got this friend named Cory and he recently had his hair done. He text me a picture but I couldn't remember what the hair style was called. So I texted the message to Artemis who forward it to Kayla. Kayla didn't know so she asked JC-"

"No," said Artemis, "Kayla asked Darrin who asked JC. Remember, cause JC was at that one starbucks with Jessica who asked him for a copy and she asked her sister Mary."

"Oh, yea, and Mary sent it to Taylor but she didn't know so she sent it to her dad Mr. Rainie and he sent it to that one mechanic guy Reed."

"Yea, Reed and Mr. Rainie have been friends sense _forever_. "

"Yea, what was that hair style called that Jamaican's have," asked Joey. The officer blinked a couple of times. He slowly turned around and shook his head in confusion. He had NO idea what Joey was talking about. "Hey, you didn't answer my question," said Joey in a hurt tone.

"I have no idea what the question is. I don't even know when you _asked_ the question," he said. Joey took a deep breath.

"Okay," he said, "one more time. I got this friend named Cory-"

"SHUT UP," shouted the officer. It startled Joey, Artemis, and the Joker. They all flinched and started laughing at his distress. The officer looked up at God and asked 'Why me Lord?"

……………………………………..

Damian sat in the room for about ten minutes. He was getting tired of waiting when Gordon walked in. He sat down in the seat and studied Damian for a while.

"Why," he asked, "why are you siding with the Joker."

"I ask myself that question a lot," said Damian with a small smile.

"You seem to have it more all together then the others," said Gordon.

"Not really. I keep saying we should fight it but for some reason I keep letting myself slip into it and I wonder to myself 'why am I even _trying_ to fight this? It's pointless, the worlds my playground when I do what I want so why won't I even enjoy it.' But you know, I ask myself that every time, then turn around and do it anyway."

"Please," said Gordon, "we can get you help for this but I need you to help me help you."

"You don't understand," groaned Damian, "I don't _want_ the help. I can guarantee you that the other three don't want it either."

"We need to get rid of the Joker and make sure he doesn't get out or have any more leverage over him," pleaded Gordon, "please we need your help." Damian started laughing hysterically.

"See, this is your problem Gordon. You don't live you only exist. When was the last time you felt truly alive and free! You never give yourself up to experiencing. We aren't in this world very long so why not make what could be your final moments _really _count." Gordon nodded and got up. He left the room and shortly after Batman came in.

"Tell me what I want to know," said Batman.

"Okay, you need to cut back on smoking. 15 packs a day is bad for the voice," said Damian. He started laughing and Batman came closer to him in an intimidating way. "What, you are going to try and scare me? I got news for you. I have been to hell and back, it's going to take more than that to scare me. "

Batman walked over and kicked the chair out from under Damian causing him to fall. Batman picked him up and slammed him into a wall. "TELL ME!"

"Sorry, man, but I'm deaf. " Batman threw him to the floor and turned to leave. His last hope was Joey and it was looking bleak so far. He was growing frustrated, he didn't know how many more dead ends he could take, he was close to calling it a night.

Gordon went in after to get Damian and bring him back to his cell.

……………………………………………….

"Wow," said Damian, "that was really special."

"Told you batman would be there," said Artemis.

"Oh hey, I get to meet batman," said Joey as Gordon drug him out of the cell.

"He isn't all that great," said Damian, "he is kind of an asshole. Hey make fun of his voice!"

"Dude, I'm totally going to," said Joey.

"Yea, man I told him to smoke less cigarettes," said Damian.

"Sweet! I'm so stealing that!" And another moment of boredom began. Everyone in their positions and Damian laying down staring at the roof.

"I wish they had those cheep ass roofs like what they did at school."

"Yea, with all the dots on the ceiling," said Artemis, "I use to count those panels and stare off into space."

"You had that old ass guy. Mr. Gibbles," said Damian laughing a bit. The Joker looked u in shock.

"_Gullible Gibbles_ still teaches there," he asked.

"Oh, you know him," asked Artemis.

"Know him? Hahaha he was my, uh, English teacher. Never _did_ learn much."

"Oh no way, he was our English teacher to," said Damian.

"Yea, Joey's English and Creative Writing teacher," said Artemis. Silence fell again. Obviously they were off their game for small talk. The Joker thought back to high school until it hit him, he was never this honest with ANYONE. Yet here he was talking about his high school days, it was really weird, he didn't like it much. He figured he had better stop or God knows what he might say next.

Artemis sighed and stood up again. "God, doesn't Joey normally have weed on him?"

"Normally," said Damian, "but they kind of took it from him."

"Sucks to be Joey…come to think of it, sucks to be us," she said.

"Hey, you're a poet and didn't even know it," said Damian.

"I bet I could write a song," she said dazing off.

'I bet you could if you put your mind to it," said Damian now covering his eyes with his arm.

"Sucks to be Joey, sucks to be us

This Jailbird party is a total bust

We got no weed

We got no drink

And we in the worst of company"

"That's the worst song I have ever heard," said Damian. The Joker stood up again and started pacing to think something up. He had his backup plan but that would require a phone call. He was very aware that they weren't going to give him one. If only he could get a hold of one of his henchmen he could get out of here.

"Hey," said the Joker to the officer, "mind if I, uh, make a quick phone call?"

"No way," said the officer, "and I'm not going to let you manipulate me into giving you one."

"I get a phone call and I want my phone call," he demanded. Artemis looked over in boredom, what could he possibly be planning?

"I'm not giving you shit," he growled. The Joker gave him a dark look. Artemis rolled her eyes and walked over to her cell door silently. She pulled a bobby pin out of her hair and kneeled down to the lock and pulled her arm around the bars to stick it in. The Joker saw what she was up to and kept his eyes on the officer still reading his book.

Artemis stuck the pin in and was just about to unlock it when the door opened and she stood up strait and the Joker moved away from his door quickly so the two didn't look suspicious. Damian was sitting watching in interest.

Gordon came in with Joey who seemed to be doing some weird break dance.

……………………………………

Joey sat in the seat across from Gordon. "Now," said Gordon, "I need you to tell me the Jokers real name and what you know about the others."

"You know, they told me and it slipped my mind," said Joey.

"I need you to tell me everything you know, it's very important, think of all the innocent lives that are at stake."

"You need to think, man. If you couldn't get any information from my home girl and my brotha' from anotha' mutha' to tell you anything why would I?"

"I don't think you know how dangerous the Joker really is," pressed Gordon.

"Man, I don't know if you remember, but he used water torture on me."

"Yes, I do remember, I don't understand. You were all so willing to help and now you are all backing down and joining his side."

"I don't fully understand it either," said Joey with a grin. Gordon sighed and left the room. Joey pulled a Stop Smoking pamphlet out and put it on the table and waited for Batman to enter. When he did the first thing he noticed was the pamphlet. He gave a heavy sigh as Joey _and_ Gordon held back giggles.

"I would just like to point out that I talk this way to mask my voice so you wont know who I am," said Batman.

"How the hell would we know," said Joey, "unless you are a famous billionair. Hey, Gordon, would you believe it if Bruce Wayne was the one in the bat costume." Gordon laughed a bit. "Oh, pound it," he said pulling out his fist. Gordon pounded his fist. Batman glared at him.

"Sorry," he said shuffling out. Joey gave a sigh of content.

"He's a good guy," said Joey, "got a lot of heart and soul. Even in the worst times he can still laugh at a good joke."

"I don't find it very _funny_," snarled Batman.

"That's okay," said Joey, "I still do."

Batman turned to leave, he had to take the rest of the night off or he was going to kill someone. "Hey," said Joey, "Smokers Anonymous is on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7pm. Free patches if you go!" Batman walked outside and pounded his fist through the wall and turned to leave.

"I'm done," he said to Gordon. Gordon nodded and took Joey back.

…………………………………………

"Joker is to be transported to Arkham Asylum in 10 minutes," said Gordon, "the teenagers will be put in Juvenile Hall first thing in the morning." The other police nodded and nervously walked toward the Jokers cell. The Joker stood waiting. When they finally got him in hand cuffs two officers had broken noses, one had her arm pulled out of joint, one had a few bruises, one had a bleeding head after being pounded in the wall, and the other had a sprained ankle.

They took him out but not without last words to Artemis. "You are not one of them and they will hate you for it," he said as they drug him out the door, "I'll see you kids soon, I'm a man of my _word_," he said laughing wickedly. Artemis was about in a panic. She walked right along side of him as he spoke to her and hung on the bars as they drug him out.

The Joker watched as his panicky daughter watched him being drug to Arkham. He had a feeling he wouldn't need an escape, but had a planned to back up on. You couldn't rely on people, they fail you, last thing you need is to have your chances riding on a slim plan. Artemis looked around the room, they had to get out.

Gordon and his partner were talking to each other and she paused to listen. "I'm going home," said Gordon, "before you leave make sure there is an officer here to watch them."

"Sure," said his partner, "I'm going to call up Ann and get her to take over."

"Alright, I will see you here tomorrow and hopefully we can end this."

"It's the Joker," said his partner, "it's never going to end."

"We can hope," said Gordon smiling.

"Well, hope isn't going to keep us alive, keeping our guard up, that just might."

Artemis felt a smile creep up on her face as an idea came to her. She walked over to Damian and Joey and they walked over to her. She whispered her idea to them. Gordon and his partner watched paranoid of what they could possibly be talking about.

"Just be careful," said Gordon. His partner nodded.

…………………………………………..

Next time, Artemis's great escape plan, and the world finds out what she and her friends are like without a leash!


	14. Step five: Learn Patience

I'm all ready for the next chapter if you guys are!

Chapter 14

Gordon's partner left and Ann Ramirez came and took his place. She decided that to pass the time she would do paper work. She wasn't all that interested who the punks where in the cells. It was a bit strange to see a girl in here but it must have been some sort of emergency or she wouldn't be here. Well, whatever the reason, Ann was stuck as baby sitter. Unfortunately for her the three teenagers were growing really bored really fast.

Artemis wanted to put her plan in action but that required patience. **Patience** is a _**virtue**_ and a constant reminder of how slow time can really go by. She needed to entertain herself so knocked her foot on the wall. Joey looked over and knocked the floor after her. Damian smiled and knocked his heel on the bar.

Artemis: _knock_

Joey: _knock_

Damian: _knock_

_-_

_Knock knock_

_Knock knock knock_

_Knock knock knock knock_

_-_

_Knock __**knock**__ knock_

_Knock __**knock knock**__ knock_

_**Knock**__ knock __**knock**__ knock_

Ann felt her patience running very thin, that was getting irritating, really irritating. Finally after a minute of this she slammed her hand on the desk. The three froze and looked at her. "Stop," she said firmly with a stern look. Damian opened his mouth to retort but couldn't think of a thing to say. It a direct order you simply could not ignore. Artemis found herself frozen to silence and Joey immediately quit the knocking.

A streak of anarchy hit Artemis and she knocked the floor again. Ann got up and walked over to her cell. "If you do not stop it I'll do the best I can to make sure you regret stepping foot in here. I'm not Gordon and I'm not his partner. And I do NOT make threats ma'am. Don't push my buttons." Artemis gave her a defiant look. If there was anything she hated it was orders. It drove her nuts the Joker ordered her around, she certainly didn't want that woman who she didn't even know bark orders at her. Artemis rolled off her back and stood up and looked the woman strait in the face just two inches apart from her face.

Ann stared her down then, figuring she made her point, walked over to her desk and continued her report. Artemis smiled and walked back to her little spot and sat waiting. Joey and Damian had a game of rock paper scissors while Artemis kept her eye on the clock. Midnight, magic hour, she slowly stood up signaling the others that it was time.

"Don't insult _me_ you're the one who did it," said Damian loudly. Ann looked up at the commotion.

"Ha! If it wasn't for you 'oh we need to blow off steam' we wouldn't be here right now," shouted Joey.

"You're the one who decided we should put a giant joker on his wall!"

"Hey, that wasn't me that was Artemis," snapped Joey.

"Don't drag me into this," shouted Artemis.

"Nobody's talking to _you_ miss 'I have to be in everyone's business'," said Damian.

"Fuck you! I didn't say shit! Besides you are the one who opened his big mouth to Gordon in the first place. If it wasn't for you we wouldn't be here!"

"Hey, you stole my ending," roared Joey.

"I'm trying to agree with you," retorted Artemis.

"You two are really fucking stupid, you know that," shouted Damian. Artemis ran forward and plunged her fist into Damian's gut. Damian doubled over in pain, geez, for a girl she hit hard. He grabbed her by the hair and yanked it back. He shoved her over and she fell to the floor. She jumped up and went for Damian's throat with her hands.

Ann jumped up and charged over to Artemis's cell to break up the fight. She opened the door and Artemis spun around and punched Ann right in the jaw. Ann fell to the ground and Artemis kicked her mercilessly laughing while she did so. She grabbed Ann's cell keys and walked out shutting the cell door behind her. Ann slowly got up and walked over to the door.

"Open this door right now," she ordered. Artemis was half tempted to actually open the door but fought it to let out Joey and Damian. Artemis took her long purple coat, her cowboy hat, her small verity of blades she kept on her, and her shot gun. Joey grabbed his butterfly knife and two hand guns. Damian snatched his pistol and switch blade. As they left the room Ann kept yelling after them to come back. They walked out of the room and crept down the stare well to the first floor. They quietly opened the door and looked around them. The whole lobby was filled with police and citizens and criminals.

"Okay," said Artemis, "it's all or nothing."

"We just gonna run out there," asked Damian.

"That's the plan," she said with a smile licking her lips. Joey cracked his neck and started doing stretches to get ready. "Alright, boys, now or never." They jumped out of the stairwell and ran across the lobby. When police noticed them they took after them. Citizens backed out of the way in fear. One man tried to stand in Artemis's way but she jumped and slid between his legs and kept on running. Joey and Damian together knocked him down and took off out the door.

They hid behind the dumpster and watched as police cars went out on the hunt for them. It was dark out now, they had night to clock them, which meant they would be lurking the shadows for a place to sleep. They couldn't go back home, that was for sure, it was the first place they would look for them.

"Let's go out to the warehouses," suggested Joey.

"No," said Artemis, "too far."

"Then let's go hind out in our home town," suggested Damian.

"Again, too far."

"Not if we take someone's car," said Joey smiling.

"And how do you purpose we do that? Have _you_, uh, ever high jacked a car before," she asked crossing her arms.

"We don't need to," said Damian pointing at a black van with someone sitting in it. Across the street was a man looking for a kid to two to kidnap and use for ransom.

He saw a thin pale girl with black eyes, a long elegant purple coat, a purple cowboy hat with a black cross, a neckless with a green gem, black knee high boots, long dirty blond hair, a black skirt down to her knees slit up the thigh, and a dark blue shirt his jaw dropped. She was coming his way with a two boys behind her.

One was the tallest with torn dark blue jeans, a black led zeppelin shirt, and a black hoodie. The boy about the girls size had long brown hair, a loose green shirt with black pajama bottoms and a loose brown unbuttoned shirt that seemed to drowned him and a pair of flip flops. It was the stranges group he had ever seen but obviously their parents had money.

He opened the door and walked toward the three. He wore a blue jean shirt and off white slax and had a pair of glasses on. "Hey," he said, "you kids need a ride?"

"As a matter of fact, uh, we do," said the girl.

"And your ride will do just nicely," said the taller boy.

"Yea, man, so you're going to give us the keys and get the fuck outa here or we will probably kill you," said the stoner. The man looked at them like they were nuts. Then the girl pulled out a shot gun from her coat and shot him in the foot. The man cried out in pain but the teens laughed hysterically. The taller of the bunch ran up and kicked the man in the face causing him to fall over.

"What should we do to him," asked the girl.

"Let's hang him by a hook," said the taller boy.

"Let's take his teeth," said the stoner.

"Hey, I resent that," said the girl. The two boys laughed at her.

"Hey, lets throw him out the car going down the high way," said the stoner.

"A most brilliant idea," said the girl.

"I agree, let's do it," said the taller boy. The man tried to get away but he could not go very fast on one foot. One of the boys grabbed him and threw him in the back of his own van. The girl jumped in the driver's seat and the stoner sat down next to her. She started up the van and drove off onto the high way. She was hitting 70, 80, 90, 100 mph. The taller boy kicked the doors open and drug the man over. The man screamed as he came closer to the door.

"Now," yelled the boy, "cover your face and roll." He shoved the man into busy traffic and shut the door after watching the kidnapper hit a couple cars then get run over several times. He was splattered all over the asphalt.

"What next," asked Joey.

"We show the world what it's like without the Joker, then we break him out of Arkham," said Artemis.

"You have really thought this out haven't you," said Joey.

"Not a lot, I have bits of it planned out but for the most part we are doing this blindly….erm….uh…just some parts are planned the rest is going to be on the spot," said Artemis feeling really weird by what she just said. Joey chuckled at her a bit.

"It's okay to say 'blindly' I promise. I'm not going to restrict your talking ability." Artemis just laughed at him. He gave her a smile, she had a pretty smile, even with those fucked up teeth, and he loved to hear that insane laugh. Artemis gave him a small smile when she calmed down. She loved to watch him have a good time. Even when he wasn't laughing his ass off she knew he was having fun.

Damian smiled to himself. He wondered if he would be just as oblivious when he fell in love with someone. He sure as hell hoped not, it would suck, finding your perfect match and not even realizing it. He looked up at the sign to their small town half an hour out of Gotham. He got an idea, and awful idea, Damian got a terribly awful idea. "I know," said Damian, "Joey pull out that pot and blunt I know you have on you and let's smoke this bitch out! We got a half an hour drive ahead of us lets at least make it a good ride."

Damian turned the radio on, yuck, classical music station. He changed it to the rock station. Artemis climbed up front and Damian took a seat on the floor leaning against Artemis's seat. He rolled it up and put it to his lips with lighter in hand. "You guys," he said, "we name our new van."

"That sounds like a good fucking idea to me," said Artemis, "time to say fuck the day." He passed it up to her and she to Damian.

……………15 minutes later………….

"The worlds going to end," said Damian, "it's going to end one day."

"The sun is going to destroy it," said Joey, "it's going to go out and the world is going to freeze over and we are all going to die or some shit like that."

"I thought it was going to explode," said Damian, "isn't that why it's getting hot and all that."

"Fuck that global warming," said Artemis, "that's what the fucking government told you. They told you the sun goes counter clock wise. How do we know that it's not really going clock wise."

"Because we have been to space," said Joey.

"So what, they might be lying about that, they lie about everything, I'm not about to believe them telling me what direction the sun is going. I don't think we have even _been_ in space," argued Artemis.

"But they have video," said Damian.

"How do you know that moon landing wasn't just filmed in a Hollywood basement," asked Artemis. "Outer space is weightless but in the video they aren't jumping really high in the air."

"That's some serious mind fuck right there," said Joey, "but it makes sense."

"And that's all that's important," said Artemis smiling. Joey and Damian nodded in agreement. "God how much longer?"

"12 more minutes, man, 12 more minutes," said Joey, shaking his head.

"How do you know," she asked.

"Cause the van clock said so," said Joey, "look see, we left at midnight, it's a 30 minute drive, we left 17 minutes ago. We smoked a blunt on the way and now we are here riding the high."

"You're so smart, Joey," said Damian, "why the hell are you sitting in this van with us?"

"Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high," sang Joey. Artemis and Damian laughed.

"I'm telling Afroman," said Damian, "you _so_ got a lawsuit comin your way man!"

"You're an asshole," said Joey shoving Damian's leg.

"Yea, you and you're big mouth," mocked Artemis.

"What about you miss 'I have to be in everyone's business'," said Damian while shoving her and remembering what happened less than an hour ago. Damian's face suddenly fell. Artemis and Joey stopped laughing and gave him a serious look. "You guys, I just realized something. We fed Jesse James to pigs. How the hell did the Joker get his head?"

"That must have been the noise you heard," said Joey, "he must have been out there watching."

"No, we waited till all of him was eaten," said Artemis. Joey had a sudden look of disgust on his face.

"Oh my god man," he said panicking, "he was in the pen! He had to be. He was hiding in the shadows where the pigs were dragging some of his body parts! Remember, you saw something of his make it's way about two feet from the body?"

"Oh man, his liver," said Artemis, "wait, when did he get in the pig pen without us knowing?"

"He's the Joker, he just appears places," said Damian, "but did he seriously go after the head in that pen? I mean, it almost sounds like he set us up for murder charges."

"He was the one who sent Gordon the pictures of us tagging his wall," said Artemis, "he must have set the whole arrest up."

"How would he know that we were going to kill Jesse James, that was a spur of the moment thing," said Damian.

"Because all it takes is a simple push make people go completely crazy," said Artemis dully. It was starting to make sense now. He knew they were going to do something drastic to get him the money, he probably had a look at their records and seen that they weren't really the type of kids to have a future off the streets.

"You guys, what the fuck are we talking about," asked Joey.

"I don't remember," said Artemis, "sorry the conversation is gone." Damian was lost in his own thoughts; he didn't forget the conversation he just didn't want to bring it up again. Chances are Artemis was going to bring it up to the Joker; she had a knack for remembering those things at the right moment. They drove the rest of the way not talking about anything in particular until they came to Artemis's old house. They crept in and climbed over the police tape. Even after all this time the house remained abandoned. People probably didn't want to live somewhere that the Joker had paid a visit to.

Almost all of Jessica's belongings had been taken. Artemis saw this and ran up to her mother's closet. The bastards emptied everything she held dear to herself. Artemis had to find out who had been in her home, she had to find out who took her moms stuff. Fury over took her. None of them had any right to anything in this house.

Her family never bothered with her or her mother. Jessica had Artemis when she was only 17 and she married Jack Napier. Her family knew that Jack worked for the mob and was a little unstable, they shunned Jessica for it.

Jessica took it really hard and didn't want to deal with the reality of it. She slipped into a series of drugs and prostituted herself and as Grandma's story went she treated Jack so poorly and he had so much patience for her. He was crazy to begin with but that day he came home with his face cut open and sown back shut because he and his father got in a fight she hated him.

Jack's father was put in prison, of course, but Jack was never told where his father was. Artemis's grandmother told him that his father died in order to protect him. She was the only one who ever cared what happened to Jack or Jessica. Jack was her son but Jessica had been around so long she might as well have been family.

When Grandma died Jessica fell into depression and became an angry alcoholic. After the fight with his father no one heard a word about Jack so they couldn't tell him of his mothers death. It was almost as if he just disappeared at the face of the earth. But Artemis knew where Jack was, she did the impossible and found him, who's to say she couldn't find which family member vultures took her moms stuff and failed to tell her what was going on.

She slowly walked down the stairs and found the other two sitting on the living room couch with several rips in it waiting for her. She sat at the seat silently. She just wanted to cry, but she couldn't, she was completely dead inside. She hugged her knees and rocked back and forth thinking and mumbling to herself.

"I have it," she finally said. Damian and Joey both jumped at the sound of her voice, "I know how we are going to make Gotham pay for taking the Joker."

"How," asked Joey leaning in.

"We are going after my family," she said with a wicked smile, "I'll find out who was at the funeral and who attended the reading of her will if she even had one. I'll get every single one of them." Joey smiled as she continued to talk and Damian took it all in with excitement. "We'll put it on tape and send one to Gordon and one to Dr. Arkham, and one to Marcus Napier."

"Who is Marcus Napier," asked Damian with a grin to match Joey's. The Joker would be so proud right now.

"Marcus Napier is my father's father," she said, "supposedly he and the Joker got into a fight and he cut that big grin on his face."

"I thought he did it because his wife got cut up," said Damian.

"Have you ever seen my mom with cuts on her face that look like a big smile," said Artemis lifting and eyebrow.

"Well I heard his dad did that to him when he was a little kid and killed his mom."

"His mother was the one who told me about it," said Artemis rolling her eyes. "We just need to find out where Marcus Napier is locked up is all. He is still alive and kicking. Well, as far as the Joker knows he is dead, but I know differently. We just need to pull up private police records."

"Don't you think the Joker would have come across his dads name surfing police records," said Damian.

"Unless he can't find it," she said, "if he thinks he is dead he wont be looking for his name."

They had a plan, now they just needed to wait for day time. They couldn't operate at night except the surf the net so they jumped up to Artemis's room to look for her computer. They took that to.

"Shit," she said, "that wasn't even moms; that was mine!"

"Relax," said Joey, "let's just go steal one. Look, they left the internet cord, we just need to get the rest of the computer."

They walked downstairs and out the door ready to go rob a place. They walked to the nearest store that was closed and Joey kicked the back door in. They walked into the store and looked around, just cause they were stealing the computer doesn't mean they can't be picky about their choice. They got a Wayne computer with a wireless key board and wireless mouse and wireless speakers. What can I say; the small town had some awesome computer stuff for sale.

They drove back home and hooked up the computer. Artemis put up the internet and looked up Marcus Napier. She clicked on it and found his police records. "Gotham City Jail House, he is almost 56 years old, and our old Joker looks just like him. Let's go pay a visit tomorrow morning," said Joey.

"Sounds good," said Artemis. The three all lay out on the floor with blankets and drifted off the dreamland a little excited about tomorrow. It was time for a trip down the family tree starting with the one responsible for it all.

* * *

They started off the day at 8am and jumped into the van. They drove back to Gotham City to visit dear old grandpa. When they arrived they saw it was a max security. Seems that Marcus Napier was up to more than a violent fight. They walked up to the guy in the waiting room.

"Excuse me," said Artemis, "could I please speak to Mr. Marcus Napier."

"What would you want with that sick son of a bitch," asked the police man foully.

"I'm a relative," she said. The police officer laughed at her.

"You're joking! Only one known family member and he disappeared before you where even born kid!"

"Look, I'm a distant relative doing some family history for class. I just want to do this report and go the hell back home. I have no real fascination with talking to him but whatever."

"No can-do kid," said the officer, "we got orders not to let him see anyone. Sorry, to dangerous, this guy was a terrorist to the outside world." Artemis gave a sigh of frustration but turned around to look at the others. The other two just shrugged. Artemis thought for a long moment then got another idea. She left the building with the other two following and walked around to the fence. She watched the tower guard sleep not really paying any attention.

It didn't matter, the inmates were so bored they were just sort of hanging around. Artemis looked around and saw her target. Marcus Napier, 56 year old man, he had a tear drop on his right eye, JACK written on a tomb stone on his upper left arm, MANDY on a tomb stone on his upper left arm, he had some muscles but wasn't a big guy, he was regular height, and had dark dirty blond hair. The Joker was a mirror image of this man and it was really spooky. Artemis looked up at the tower guard again and climbed over the large fence and threw her old purple pea coat over the barb wire. Damian and Joey followed behind and she ran up to him.

Inmates watched as she walked right past them without a second thought with Damian and Joey at her heels. They were so shocked they stood staring stupidly. "Excuse me Marcus Napier," she said. Marcus looked up at her with dark eyes. His jaw dropped, she looked just like his son, how in good Gods name was that even possible, Jack was dead, disappeared.

"Who are you," he asked standing up to tower over her threateningly. She kept her confidence up, this guy wasn't the Joker, he was nothing compared to the evil she was actually beginning to miss. As much as she hated the Joker, the guy kind of grew on you after a while, no one else would know this because he was not quite so personal with them, or they just didn't live long enough to find out. This man was obviously evil, but he was child's play compared to the monster he created.

Artemis pulled her shot gun off her waist and pointed it at him. "You're coming with us," she said. He put his hands up defensively. Joey pulled out both of his pistols and Damian took out his hand gun. They walked him to the fence with the yard watching. Except the sleeping guard who was about to lose his job and do some jail time himself. Joey was the first one up thefence, followed by Marcus, then Damian, then Artemis, then the rest of the inmates decided to take off there jump suits and use them to get over the wire. Why had they not thought of this before!

The four lead the entire prison through the woods to the street. They climbed in and a couple other inmates jumped in after. Finally after the van was stuffed with 4 serial killers in jump suits, Artemis, Damian, and Joey they left. The rest of the inmates watched them drive down the road and looked around.

"Now what," asked one of them. They all looked around, they had freedom, but where the hell were they suppose to go now?

"Follow the van," suggested one man. The others just shrugged and the large group of social terrorists were all walking up the road to Gotham City. They dropped the rest of the inmates off some random place in the city.

……………………………..

Marcus saw that he was shoved into a house with a camera set up and a chair. They had kept him at gun point sense they broke him out of prison. Damian pointed at the chair and told him to sit. Marcus watched them very carefully but sat down for fear that they just might shoot him. Especially the girl, she had some freaky vibes coming off of her, she wasn't scared to take a life.

Joey tied him up and Artemis started the camera up and jumped on. "Hi there," she said with her face in the camera. "I want you all to meet Marcus." She moved out of the way and toward him. "I never did thank you guys for taking the Joker off the streets. Now I can go to bed at night knowing that he won't be breaking into my home anymore. But I'm afraid that now that he isn't around, I don't have any rules to play by, I just wanted to share with you my _appreciation_ for Gotham's finest and the good Dr. Arkham for my official freedom. Now I don't have _anyone_ around telling me what I can and can't do.

Where was I? Oh, yea, Marcus. You see, Marcus has been hiding from his family for a long, long time. Now we can welcome him home back to his family! Marcus, why not say 'hi' to all your new fans? Oh, I'm Artemis Napier, this is Joey DeRogue, and Damian Haggard. Now let the show begin."

The first thing she did was kick him in the face. His chair fell backwards and she used her foot to lift him back up. Damian ran up with the crow bar and pounded it right into his shoulder. Joey then stuck a knife in his side. The man groaned in pain blow after blow. He wasn't sure what to expect but this was not it. They beat him mercilessly until he was a bloody pulp. Finally Joey took out one of his pistols and took all the bullets out save for one. He spun the barrel around and pointed it at his head.

"We're going to play a game of Chance," he said, "if there is no bullet you won't get shot. If there is, well, it was nice getting to know you." Artemis cut the camera of. Joey put the gun down. Artemis drug him down to the basement a bleeding mess and left him there. She then climbed back up and looked at those in the room. "Tomorrow we are going after my mothers family, the video is going to be longer but they aren't going to live to see the end of it." A grin grew on her face. "As for Marcus, he is the Jokers. But that doesn't mean we can't have some fun with him." First thing was first.

She turned on the camera and decided to add an ending. "Sorry this video was so short. I promise the next will have more to it. You will just have to be patient." Then she made two copies and sent one to Gordon and one to Dr. Arkham. And so the fun begins.

…………………………………….

Next time:

Harleen meats the Joker

Artemis, Damian, and Joey kidnap the family members in the will

A new tape is made and sent in the mail

Batman has a laundry room epidemic!


	15. 6: Do unto others as they do unto you

Alright I gots fans! I would like to thank those who have favored me. I will do that in the next chapter just email me if you don't wanna be mentioned. Reviewers? You guys aren't so lucky, sorry luvs, gotta show the love and all that. Don't worry the Fans will be just as unlucky in the next chapter.

The song "Start Wearing Purple" is owned by Gogol Bordello. If you have never heard it I highly suggest checking them out.

Ms. MadD: To start off I would like to congratulate you on the name. Well chosen player!

BloodyStains and Flying-pencils I like your names to btw!

Chapter 14

Bruce Wayne walked down to his laundry room. Alfred was on vacation and Bruce needed to do some laundry. Only one problem, he had never done his own laundry before. Well, he was Batman, if Alfred could do it so could he!

………………………………………

"This just end. A man by the name of Marcus Napier was kidnapped from a maximum security prison and was put on tape that was mailed to Dr. Arkham and Commissioner Jim Gordon. We are showing it but we want to warn the people at home that it is extremely graphic."

The video of Artemis came on. The inmates of Arkham Asylum watched as this mysterious Marcus was beaten down to almost unidentifiable. The Joker was sitting on a lunchroom table watching with Scarecrow, Catwoman, and Poison Ivy. The league of super villains had grown after the Scarecrow tried to kill Gotham. The villains got smarter after the Joker terrorized Gotham into insanity. Catwoman and Poison Ivy working together had encouraged women to join the super villain ranks. This table sat the four original M.O.D's at Arkham. That's right kids, the legends all four hung out together at lunchtime and Yard time.

"Man," said Ivy, "I don't know who those kids are but they are brutal. I imagine they will be sitting at this table with us when they finally get caught."

"That is _if_ they get caught," said Catwoman, "who knows, they may be the first to never get caught."

"They are the first teenagers like that I have ever seen," said Crane, "I have met some crazy teens before but these kids seem smart." The Joker was more focused on the tv then that conversation going on between his new friends. He could have sworn his mother told him that man was dead. How in hell was he still alive? Why had Artemis cut the tape before they pulled the damned trigger, just do it and get it over with. Then a thought came to him, his daughter was keeping him in suspense. Will he be showing up in the sequel? He started to laugh a little.

"What's up," asked Catwoman, a.k.a Selene Kyle.

"I know those four," he said with a big grin. He jumped off the table and sat in his chair. "I have a feeling that the sequel is going to be better than the first movie!"

"Joker," said a guard. The Joker looked up curious, what did they want wit him, he wasn't even doing anything. "Your therapist is ready to meet you when you are ready."

"Ooo," said Ivy, "wonder who it is?"

"So do I," said Scarecrow, Dr. John Crane, "the last doctor you had died didn't he?"

"Yup," said the Joker, "he died with a _smile_ on his fa-ce." Catwoman chuckled a bit.

"Well do us all a favor and get rid of this one before he or she wants to talk to me. I'm tired of talking to doctors."

"They're, uh, more interested in their **paychecks** then what we got to say," said the Joker nodding. He got up and walked over to the guard and followed him to the familiar room. What he said almost made his jaw drop. A pretty young blond girl with blue eyes. She had soft skin and looked good in that semi-short red skirt, a white shirt with loose sleeves and smart black high heels. She was a shopaholic, didn't like to do a lot of walking, and only accepted the best of the best. Well, she got what she wanted, her first patient was certainly one of the best.

He gave her a wicked grin and sat on the couch right next to her. She was a little startled by this, usually people sat two seats away unless they had another person with them, it's not natural to sit so close to a stranger. Then again, nothing about the Joker was natural. She looked down at her clipboard and up at him.

"So," she said, "tell me about yourself. Your history, your likes, dislikes, what it is that gets under your skin, everything that comes to mind." He scanned her again.

"Well, I have quite a bit of history, I think it would take longer than 15 minutes to tell you. As far as my likes. I like gasoline, matches, guns, bullets, and knives. You know what they all have in common? Hmm?" The doctor smiled at him.

"They are easy to get and cheap," she said knowingly. The Joker gave her a bigger grin. He liked her.

"I'm the Joker," he said.

"Doctor Harleen Quinnzel," she responded.

"You know, if you drop an 'en' and a 'zel' you get a Harlequin."

"And if you add a 'y' you get a Harley," she said in a bored tone, "I've heard it before."

"Where your parents hippies," he asked sarcastically and started laughing cruelly. She just smiled at him.

"No," she said, "daddy was a cop and momma was a homemaker."

"What would you say if I gutted them like a couple of fish," he asked.

"Soups up," she said. He gave a genuine laugh and even slapped his knee.

"A girl after my own tastes," he said giving her the biggest smile he could. "Alright," he said, "for amusement I'll tell you a story of mine. I had this wife, you see, who told me I should smile more _but_ she had a, uh, **gambling** problem. She liked to swim with sharks, till one day she got in too deep. They cut her face open. She started hiding her face from me so I took a blade and did this to my mouth to show her I didn't care about the scars."

Harleen felt tears come to her eyes. "That is possibly the most romantic thing I have ever heard. You cut your own face up to show her you still loved her!"

"Yea, but uh, when I did it, she couldn't stand the **sight** of me!" Harleen gasped a bit.

"Why? She looked just as bad, she had the same scars, who was she to deny you," she asked. You see, this was Harleen's problem, she couldn't keep work professionally. She grew too close to her patience. This affected her work in two ways.

The first way she was able to help them better, she could emphasize with them, have a better understanding of where they were coming from. This was why her method, while unusual, worked so well, she knew the patient on a personal level and could plan out a way to help them cope and function. When they were able to at least understand how humans should act she could start in helping their problems on a more civil level and it had proven a few times to work.

The second way was she was personal to them and that gave her a large weakness. She cared about those she was closest to and would often times forget herself when she heard someone was hurt in any way. There were times when she had the urge to go after the villain that hurt her friend and tell them what was what. She cared too much and one of these days she was sure that was going to be her downfall. But she did not become a doctor to help herself, she became a doctor to help others, and she felt she was damned good at that.

The Joker looked at her, observing her reaction to the story he was telling. She was getting into it, he had not gun pointed at her, he had no blade to her mouth, all he had were his words. He continued his dramatic 'scar scare'.

"Anyway," he said, "she couldn't stand the sight of me. But on the upside she got to see me smile more before she finally up and left me. And now I'm always smiling." His arms went up in a dramatic gesture. If there was one thing in school he learned it was theatrics. "Now, I have, uh, told you my likes and a little of my story, what was next?"

"You're dislikes." The Joker thought for a moment and Harleen noticed his eyes started to darken. Something was pissing him off.

"I hate money, I hate tattle tales, I hate batman, and I recently found a new hate that I saw on the news," he said slowly. Harleen watched him for a moment.

"What was that dislike," she asked. The Joker looked at her and then at the clock. He gave her a smile and his eyes turned their regular dark brown color.

"Times **up**," he said getting up. He walked out of the room leaving Harleen in suspense. Who was this man? She heard stories about him from Artemis, Damian, and Joey, she saw the stories on the news, she heard random rumors, but this was the first time she actually met him.

The Joker walked back to the lunchroom and returned to his table. Ivy seemed to have her eyes locked to the TV. They were playing the Marcus Napier tape over and over again and again every time the news started. She had asked them to switch it to several different news stories but it was the same thing. There was something about that Marcus that looked familiar. Catwoman had three cups in front of her and Dr. Crane sat across from her looking irritated.

"I know what this is," he insisted, "you distract me with words while you move the cup around. I've seen this so many times, it's a total sham."

"That is beside the point," she argued, "just pick a cup! The pea is in one and if you win you get the prize!"

"Yes, I know, a get to keep one of the cups, that's great and all Selene but I think I would rather watch that tape on the news again then win a stupid pixie cup that I can get off the line for free."

"This is different," she said, "you get to _win_ a cup! It's just more interesting." The Joker walked up and picked up the middle cup reveling the pea. "How did you know," asked Selene.

"The sun is, uh, shining through the window, you can see the _shadow_ of the pea." He sat down next to Ivy and watched the video again.

"Is it just me," said Ivy, "or is that Marcus guy really familiar?"

"They said he was in a maximum security prison," said Dr. Crane, "probably saw him on the news or something."

"Yea," said Ivy, "maybe."

……………………………………………

Bruce separated all his cloths like he saw Alfred do. He put all the whites in one pile, the darks in another, blacks together, colors together, and lights together. He had four piles of cloths on the floor ready to go. He put his whites in first and looked down at it. It seemed like there were not enough cloths in the washer so put the colors in to.

He took the detergent next and poured half the bottle in. He would put the darks and blacks together so as to save detergent. He saw one sock had a stain on it. He thought back to what Alfred would do so poured all the bleach in. He then put in half the bottle of fabric softener and put a dryer sheet in the washer.

Next came the hard part, turning it on, he pushed a bunch of random buttons before it finally started. He put what was in the dryer, dry towels and a large comforter, and threw it in a pile in the laundry room in a corner. Then he put what was in the washer, more towels and blankets, and stuffed it in the dryer.

I would like to first point out that he did not know what a lint trap was nor had he ever heard the term before.

…………………………………..

Damian was wonderful with computers. He could make a computer do just about anything. He did not spend too much time on them but if you had a question he could answer. He was a natural with electronics and a hacking prodigy. This was lucky for the moment. With Marcus in the basement Artemis wanted the rest of the family to join him.

She also wanted the filming done tonight. He was walking down the street to the court house to pick up a copy of the will. It was easy. He just waltzed in as if he belonged and grabbed a copy of the will from the records room and walked out. No one stopped or questioned in. Gotham should really put higher security up it was ridiculous.

He walked home and looked over it. Sarah Dora Lissa was at the top of the list. Then Mona Lissa, Destiny Lissa, Eric and Ericka Lissa, Martin Lissa, Dale Mort, Justine Lissa Mort, and Finally Kevin Mort. The list wasn't very long but they were the only ones who had any rights to anything. Of course Artemis Napier was on the list. She was suppose to get the house. Well it was hers whether or not the will said so.

Next he looked them up and found out emails, addresses, phone numbers, birth records, and just about anything else you could think of. Apparently Martin Lissa had recently published a book called "The 12 Step Recovery: Belong to Yourself not the Addiction". Damian ordered a copy and planned on giving it to Batman. He laughed at his childish tom foolery.

He then hacked into email accounts and read through them. Apparently they were all gathered together for a family reunion. Damian did his little dance of victory. He printed it up and ran to the livingroom area where Artemis and Damian where watching a stolen TV with stolen cable.

"Man, we should have gotten HD," complained Joey.

"Well, lets go next door and tell them to get it. I want HD cable to," said Artemis.

"You serious?"

"Yes," she said, "as a matter of fact I'm going over there and telling them we are stealing their cable and we **demand** high definition." She stood up to leave when Damian came bouncing in.

"Okay," he said, "we aren't going to get them today but in a couple of days there is a family reunion and they all sent out R.S.V.P's. They are all going to be in the same place!"

"Who is 'they'," asked Artemis.

"Um, Sarah Dora Lissa, Mona Lissa, Eric and Ericka Lissa, Dale Mort, Justine Lissa Mort, and Kevin Mort."

"Let's see. Sarah Dora Lissa is married to Tommy Dora but Tommy divorced her. She was my mother's sister but then Tommy slept with my mom. Mona Lissa is my mothers oldest sister and she is supposedly the 'favorite' of the family.

Eric and Ericka Lissa are twins that my mother's mother raised, but they are Dale Mort's kids. He was on crack so left them with her. Dale Mort is my uncle on my mother's father's side. Justine Mort is Dale's daughter but she is a scam artest.

Kevin is her son who slept with my cousin Ericka so we don't talk much about him. I believe that Kevin was also Sarah and Tommy's friend from high school but they didn't know they were related until they met at a family reunion.

That list doesn't even touch a third of my family. Just the Mort's and the Lissa's. There is still the O'Neil's, the Recors, the Hurs's, the Keelly's, the Mays, a couple Keelly-May's, and I think there are a couple other familys but I don't even talk to those people.

Well let's get ready kids cause we are going to a reunion!"

……………………………………………..

Harleen sat on a bench looking out in the Yard at the inmates just hanging around enjoying being out side for an hour. She wasn't sure what to make of the Joker, but it was only her first meeting with him. She would have a better chance tomorrow to maybe get another story from him. Her thoughts wondered to Artemis Napier. Did Artemis know that her former doctor was now her father's doctor?

Harleen couldn't help but smile when she thought of the Joker. Artemis, Damian, and Joey all shared there horror stories with her but something was missing. They where avoiding telling her something but what? She would ask about the Joker and they would object to talking about it. They told her about it the first time but after that they were very wary of talking about him. She became rather intrigued with the Joker and now she had him.

She watched as the sun went down and saw a couple fire trucks flying across the road. Why? Who cares, she needed to get home without being mugged. She got up and walked out to the parking lot.

……………………………..

Bruce stood outside his grand mansion and watched as the whole thing burned to the ground. In his hand was a basket of dark pink cloths with blotches of white pink patches here and there. Apparently doing laundry was some serious business that required amazing skills he did not posses.

He heard the fire trucks arrive and everyone quickly ran around trying to put the grand fire out. "Who did this," asked Gordon crawling out of his squad car, "did someone light your house on fire?"

"No," said Bruce blushing furiously. Gordon gave him a questioning look. "I was trying to do laundry but…"

"Oh," said Gordon. He turned around and climbed back in his car and was going to drive away but rolled down the window. "Mr. Wayne, next time, clean out your lint trap."

"What's that," he asked.

"Never mind, leave laundry to whomever it is you hired to do it."

…………………………………………..

The Joker sat in his cell thinking. He watched as the guards walked up and down the isle keeping an eye on everyone. His eyes casted to see what Crane was up to. He was reading a book that was no doubt a difficult book to read. Ivy was sleeping and Catwoman was…..dancing to no music? He got up and watched her go. It kinda looked fun!

He got a smile on his face an started imitating her pretending to dance with someone. Catwoman looked over and stuck her tongue out at him childishly. He laughed at her anger and sat aback down. Well, he managed to kill a couple minutes at least, now what to do with the rest of his time. It was turning night out. He saw as the guards left the room to be replaced with others that it was shift change and he walked over to the cell door.

He picked the lock with a lunchroom plastic white spork! He got out and quickly moved down the aisle to the door and opened it. He somehow managed to get outside and picked a couple flowers from the garden. They were red, she was wearing red, she must like that color. He put them in an urn stolen from an unmarked tomb and empty the ashes out of it. He snuck back inside and into Harleen's office. He put the flowers in the urn and left a note that said 'Luv Mistah Jay!' and snuck back to his cell. He managed to slip in and out before the next guards came in.

He smiled to himself, he was so sneaky. He would have left if not for Harleen. She was fascinating to him. He wanted to talk to the woman who seemed to have no fear of him, wanted to get into her head, wanted to have her. The Joker got what he wanted one way or the other.

………………………………………….

Artemis walked down to the park to the reunion she was not invited to. Today she wore her purple cowboy hat with the black cross, her purple pea coat, a pair of black pants that were 50 percent polyester, and her 50 percent satin shirt that was skin tight green. Over it she wore a purple shirt with a black crow on it with its wings spread out wide.

Joey came pimpin a black pin stripe fedora, a white button up shirt, a black jacket, black pants, and converse shoes. He, to, wore 50 percent polyester on nice days. It was the beginning of November and it was a warm 65 degrees out.

Damian wore blue ripped jeans like usual, a white shirt, and a black hat with a giant white M (sponsored by monster energy drink hat). He had a smile plastered to his face. Mayhem and chaos was practically a hobby to him and his friends now. They caused seven car crashes, robbed a convenient store of their money three bottles of soda and muffins, probably killed a few people because of reckless driving, won 30 pedestrian points, stole a wheel chair, and parked in a handicap space without a card. They did all that and before lunch.

Marcus was dressed in a red long sleeved shirt with a white one under it, black torn jeans, and a black vest. He had to wear Damian's cloths. Joey's cloths didn't fit him and they didn't' have time to steal any cloths for him. They had stitched and bandaged him and even let him shower. He cut his long beard down to the goatee and mustache he sported before he went to jail and even cut his hair so instead of having a mass amount of hair almost down to his waist he had it half way down his shoulders and tied back in a pony tail. He was still a prisoner and knew it but he was on several loratabs so didn't really care at the moment. Life was awesome!

The GNN was present which was good. Artemis wanted to make this a live show anyway. They walked over and started asking around for some of the people. Those who were on the will were in the back discussing trading. It was like Christmas time; after you get your presents you go and discuss with you siblings what you would trade of theirs for what you wanted.

The four walked over to the corner and shoved the high Marcus over to his family. Everyone was shocked to see them. Joey pulled out a shotgun to get everyone's attention. Artemis pulled out a blade and made the victims sit down in chairs with Damian behind her with a gun.

"Hey, guys, look this is a private party that the rest of you need to leave. The news can stay though!"

Everyone looked at him like he was crazy. Artemis turned around and pulled out her shot gun and shot one of her family members. Dug O'Neil was just minding his own business when suddenly his niece twice removed from his grandfather's sister in law shot him. He looked over at his daughter Carol before his head dropped dead on the table. Everyone screamed and pandemonium broke out. They all ran in different directions! The news crews were filming the whole epidemic! News reporter Tasha Bane ran forward and started asking Joey questions.

"Why are you doing this, inquiring minds want to know," she said shoving the mike in Joey's face.

"Well, Tasha, it was Artemis's idea really. You see we are here to kidnap her family for taking her mothers stuff after she died. We are really looking forward to having a good time," he said it as if this was just a lighthearted news report.

"Well, Joey, we certainly hope so to and we are here broadcasting live at Gotham City Park the family reunion of Jessica Napier, who was killed by the Joker a month ago, tell us Joey, what do you think we can expect?"

"We are probably going to see some torture, probably going to kill a few people like we did Dug over there."

"How do you know Dug?"

"Artemis is his niece twice removed on his grandfather's sister in laws side."

"Tell me, where you guys invited to the reunion?"

"No, not really Tasha, we just sorta came busting in and interrupted. We thought it was really convenient that those on the will were all in one place so took advantage of it."

"And there you have it. Four victims of the Joker are here at this large family reunion to kidnap, torture, and maybe even kill a few people. When the rest of the panicking family leaves we will be right back to show what is going on."

"Thank you Tasha Bane, we be back with you when you are ready to show, in other news it's the time of year when the birds go south for the winter," said Grant Grey, the indoor anchor man.

…………………………………..

Everyone groaned. Arkham Asylum had been watching TV all day waiting for this story. It was the hot topic all day yesterday when they saw no results of another. Harleen, the inmates, a few other doctors, and all the day time guards were in the lunchroom. Bets were placed, popcorn made, soda's served, and loonies in at their usual tables.

"Hey," shouted Joker, "can I, uh, get some of those sour patch candy's? I, uh, _don't _want that bullshit Sour kids brand."

"We don't have any," shouted the lunch man.

"Then what **do**__you have," he said with a dark look in his eyes.

"We have raisin's covered in chocolate!" The Joker hissed, he didn't like raisins.

"What else," he snapped.

"We have Bottle caps!"

"_TOO_ sweet!"

"Butterfinger Mini bars!"

"How about Twizlers?"

"We aren't aloud to have those anymore! Not sense you strangled that guard with a Twizler!"

"What about, uh, **Nerds** then!?"

"Yea! We have Nerds! Is that what you want!?"

"Yes," shouted the Joker waving his hands up. The lunchman threw the box across the room and hit Dr. Crane in the back of the head by accident. John hissed in pain and the Joker laughed hysterically. He walked over and picked up his Nerds and sat back on the table still giggling.

"Shut up," mumbled Dr. Crane rubbing his head.

"Watch your head," mocked the Joker.

"Stop," he snapped.

"Revenge of the Nerds," laughed the Joker. Ivy and Catwoman snickered.

"SHUT UP OVER THERE THE STORY IS BACK ON," shouted someone in the crowed. The Joker turned around and stood up on the table with spork in hand.

"Who said **that**," he said glaring at the room. Everyone fell in silent fear. "That's, uh, what I thought." He sat back down on the table with his eyes to the screen.

…………………..

Artemis stood in front of the camera with eight people all lined up tied to chairs. "Hey there," she said waving. "We have part two of the video! Best of all we are doing it live. Tasha Bane has agreed to film it as long as she gets interview time."

"So," said Tasha, "tell me Artemis. Who are these eight people behind us. Now I see the line starts with Marcus."

"That's right, Tasha, we were going to kill Marcus but then we decided that we had bigger better things before we kill him. This here is Sarah, she took my mother's furniture. That is Eric and his twin sister Ericka, Dale, Mona, Justine, and Kevin."

"Wow, that is quite the family collection you have there," said Tasha looking in the camera."

"Thank you Tasha."

She turned toward her victims and put on a blind fold and pulled out what looked to be a nail gun. Everyone watched intently as she blindly aimed the nail gun at the victims. She pulled the trigger and got Mona right in between her eyes. She gave out a dying scream. Artemis pulled her blind fold down and looked slightly disappointed. "Aw," she said, "I didn't want to kill anyone just yet!"

She then aimed at them only this time she was not blind folded. Her gun stopped on Kevin. His breath quickened as she aimed it down at his side. She pulled the trigger and he screamed with pain. It was Damian's turn! He bounced up on the stage and took the gun. He aimed it at Ericka. He pulled the trigger but Eric jumped in the chair he was tied to and got between her foot and the nail. It got him in the throat and he laid breathing shallowly at his twin sisters feet. She looked down at him yelling out his name and crying.

Artemis cocked her head a bit and so did the Joker. That was not really a normal thing for humans to do. "That was a big 'fuck you' to your theory on humans right there Joker," said Dr. Crane. The Joker closed his candy box and threw it at John's forehead.

Joey was up next and he aimed at Justine. No one made a move and he shot her in the ankle. She cried out in pain but everyone just looked at her. "She had that comin'," mumbled Kevin.

"Why do you say that," asked Artemis.

"You remember that guy she was seeing, Mark?"

"Yes."

"Well she told Mark that she heard from me that Justine was cheating on her. She called me up and I was like 'I don't know what you are talking about' than she called up Jessica crying how her relationship was failing and how he was such a bad guy."

"Oh yea, mom mentioned it to me once, she was like leeching off of him and saying he was only after her money."

"Haha what money," asked Joey.

"Exaclty," said Mona, "we is poe' folks. We ain't gots no money yo."

"Did you know she once scammed me out of 500 dollars," said Ericka, "seriously, she told me she wanted to make a car payment."

"She told me that same thing last year," said Artemis, "what was she using all that money on."

"Drugs," said Kevin angrily. Artemis walked over to Mona who looked up at her. Artemis plunged one of her knives into her arm and she was in so much pain she couldn't make a noise.

"Fucking bitch," said Artemis walking away.

"Poor girl's got a dysfunctional family," said Harleen. The MOD of Arkham turned around and she walked over to where they were sitting. The Joker moved over and she sat in the spot he once occupied. She leaned over to him and silently whispered "No offense Joker."

"What," he asked blinking a bit.

"I know all about Artemis," she said, "she Joey and Damian were patience of mine last month. Eventually Artemis came to grips with the fact that she didn't want help and the others finally realized that to and stopped coming to see me. They were waisting there money and my time anyway so I told them 'if you want help come see me next week if not don't bother to show up' and they left."

"Well, I knew they were, uh, _seeing_ you weekly. I had no _idea_ how much they, uh, told you."

"Doctor Patient Confidentiality."

"You just broke that," he said smiling and looking up at the TV.

"Yea," she said, "yea I guess I did. They aren't my patience anymore though. What were you doing in my office last night?" The Joker just smiled. She shook her head and looked up at the TV. It wasn't that she didn't like the flowers. She loved flowers. But if the guards were to find out he was getting in and out of his own cell….well….then she couldn't see him anymore.

Not to much more really happened. Artemis, Damian, and Joey tortured them a bit, killed Mona by setting her on fire, then put her out, then lit her up again. Justine soon had so many nails and knives in her she bled to death, Kevin had a plastic bag suffocating him for a bit then finally Artemis gutted him and left him to die. Sarah was strung up on a tree and strangled to death. Ericka was shot in the mouth. Than batman showed up to save the day and ruin the entertainment. They all shot at him and he ducked behind a table trying to avoid bullets and they grabbed Marcus and ran back for the van.

Tasha stood in front of the camera with batman in the back ground bleeding to death trying desperately to crawl back to his car without dying but was slipping in his own blood. "And there you have it," said Tasha, "a family reunion after the death of a dear member. Thank you and good night."

"Thank you Tasha Bane. Now let's move on to sports."

"I hate how Batman has to reign on everyone's parade," said Ivy in a bored tone.

"I just hate him," said John Crane.

"You all only hate him because he put you here," said Harleen rolling her eyes.

"Easy for you to say," said Catwoman, "you are here by choice."

"Well, true, but still I'm sure you wouldn't hate him as much if he didn't bother you," said Harleen.

"I bet you would hate him if he put you here," said Ivy.

"I bet you are right," said Harleen smiling.

"Women," said Crane shaking his head, "their nuts."

"Which is why _I_, uh, like them so much," said Joker with a smile, "you more of a _backdoor bird_?"

"I hate you," said Crane staring at the wall. The Joker laughed at John's misery.

………………………………………..

Alright so last time I told half truths but whatever! Hope you enjoyed the extra long chapter!


	16. Step 7: Loyalty

Okay its time for the next chapter! Now as you all dreaded I will name off all the appreciations for Favorites!

AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA I was lying. Mostly because I don't remember who all faved me. Sorry guys but if you did thank you it's always appreciated!

Ms. MaDd: hahaha I can tell you and me are going to get along just fine. The Joker can't help that he is overly theatric I just made him that way…..actually Hollywood did….as far as the backdoor bird I couldn't stop cracking up when I was writing it. I agree it is a lovely image.

Chapter 16

Needless to say the news was all over the place most of the time. How where a bunch of criminal punks pulling something off like three bank robberies at once!? It was absurd to think anyone but the Joker could pull that off. It started out as just minor crimes that the news didn't like to bother with until they apparently showed their displeasure of being ignored.

Now any time there was a minor crime that looked to be done by, what people now called, the Jokers Circus it was top story. The Joker was terrorizing Gotham even behind bars now. Other small time criminals started volunteering for the cause just to make a little misery for others. Small time crimes were rampant in the streets. Anything from graffiti to car theft, to bank theft, to just trashing the place. In fact these three managed to make things so bad that people were demanding the Joker be let loose.

It made for good publicity for the Joker. People feared him now more than ever because they knew that no matter what the Joker ruled the streets. Batman was growing tired. He was constantly out arresting henchmen, gangs who had dreams of working with the Joker himself, and just about any scum of the earth that would do anything to get paid. Everyone he ever caught was a dead end. A majority of them had never actually met Artemis, Damian, Joey, or the Joker. They were just a bunch of kids and sick-o's looking for something crazy to do. Circus wannabe's, as they were now called, worked mostly for the attention.

The Joker ate every moment of it. It seemed that the only ones now that didn't fear him were Ivy, Selene, Jonny boy, and the lovely Harlequin he was working so hard to fall for him.

Harleen was coming closer every day to falling in love. He would sneak into her office and leave her whatever he happened to find that caught his own interest and usually the thought that followed was 'Harleen might like this'. The only time he thought of his father Marcus was when the news came on.

That was another thing. The news had become a drug for him and everyone in Arkham. Even after the big show was over they still watched for their future inmates on the news. Then today the Joker felt that they were getting a little ridiculous. Yea, he was all for mayhem and chaos, and yes he found it really funny, but he did wish he could get back out there and get some control over them. God knows, one night they may hit the wrong house, the last thing he needed was for them to be locked up in here while he was.

It was this morning at breakfast when the news reporter Tasha Bane was standing in front of a house that was wrapped up in cellophane, egged, and the windows were cookies. All over the yard had been forked. It was funny though. As far as the yard was you could see toilet paper forked into the ground in individual squares.

A horrible plan had popped in his head and he needed out of here to carry the message on. He was already pushing that line when he crept around the hospital at night. Then he thought, what the hell, I just won't come back.

Now here he was just about to open his cell again when a door came open. He backed up and sat on his bed waiting to see who it was. A nurse walked in with long hair, a long white dress, a white cloak, and a Red Cross paper hat. This wasn't unusual. It was around this time of year a lot of nurses dressed this way to stay warm. Arkham was a very cold place, and when it started getting cold outside it got a bit chilly in the hospital.

……………………………………….

Artemis, Joey, Damian, and a few random gangsters who wanted a chance at doing something extremely stupid snuck into Arkham. Damian and the pit bull they drug with them lead the group up stares so as to guard the halls. Joey took off to go get the Joker looking lovely in his nurse's attire. Artemis took for the evidence room with a couple of the gangsters.

Damian directed everyone to which hall they would keep an eye out. All windows were to be watched as well as entrances and exits. To make his point clear he took the safety off his gun and cocked it ready to fire. No one was going to argue with that. They all had guns but they heard horror stories about The Joker's Circus.

Joey stabbed a guard in the back and took his keys. First step of his job was already done. Next was to find the Joker. He walked down to the offices and saw his old doctors office. He opened the door curiously and saw that the Joker's case file was sitting on the desk with what looked to be sliver thin necklace that had a broken heart on it saying "Love" in cursive and a note. He picked it up curiously and read it.

"All yours harlequin

Mistah Jay"

Joey blinked a couple of times with disbelief. Not only did he have the same doctor they did but he was attempting to _woo_ her! It was unbelievable. Joey never thought of the Joker as a romantic kind of guy. Unless this girl was digging on psychos, if that was the case she got the perfect job.

Artemis grabbed everything there that belonged to the Joker. She snatched his purple suit with his blue shirt and green vest, a variety of weapons with blades on them, and what looked to be a piece of a broken heart that had fallen out of one of the pockets. She picked it up and observed it curiously. It had the word "My" carved in elegant cursive. What was that about? She shrugged and put it back in the pocket thinking it was just another weird thing he did. She would never understand him.

She ran out the room, if things went according to plan she would meet up with Joey at the cell.

Sure enough she did. He was just about to unlock it when she came running up. He turned to see her with the cloths and plastic bag full of stuff. Joey turned back to the lock and turned it. He took the outfit from Artemis and turned toward the Joker pulling the face mask out with suit and belongings in hand. "Hey," he said, "we're going to a costume party, wanna join?"

The Joker grabbed his cloths and got out of the prison outfit. He walked out of the cell and took the lead from there. They were just about to go out the door when non other then batman jumped through a widow knocking down a few Circus wannabe's. Batman looked up and saw the Joker standing there and two of his targets. Then a huge bull dog started to attack batman. While he struggled with the dog the Joker led them through the emergency exit.

They ran all the way to the first floor when Harleen ran into them. She always came in early to do her paperwork but this was the first time she came in during a break out. She stared at the Joker and he at her. Artemis watched the two stare at each other and felt her face go a little hot. What was he staring at it was just the dumb psychiatrist they were seeing for a short while. He nudged at his arm and he looked down at her and remembered why he was there.

He took one last look at Harleen before turning to leave. Artemis looked over at her with a blank expression but Harleen could see it on her face, jealousy. She watched closely as Artemis, Damian, the Joker, and then soon Joey and a couple of the Circus wannabe's raced out the door with Batman on their tail looking to be limping. A bull dog shot right passed Batman and ran out the door.

…………………………………………

They all jumped in the van and it started and swerved away. The race was on! Batman closely behind them, Joey ignored traffic rules and sped his way down Gotham city hoping to lose batman. But he was more then determined to catch up. Here he had the Joker, Artemis, Damian, _and_ Joey in one vehicle and he had this one chance to catch them.

The Joker was not dumb enough to believe they were actually going to get away. They were headed for a dead end. What where they going to do, drive though the dead end anyway? Well, maybe, they seemed to know what they were doing. It didn't really bother him one way or another. He gets away he can have some fun with Gotham, he gets caught, he can have some fun with Harleen. One way or the other looked good to him right now.

Joey saw the dead end and pushed on the gas peddle even more and drove right through the bridge. The Joker sat in the passenger seat watching batman behind them start to catch up. Was he really going to try and jump that to? Yup, he sure enough did, damn, and it was such a good idea. Joey drove through the woods in a panick, he wasn't sure where he was going or what he was doing. He felt smile creep up on his face as he drove through the maze of trees with ease and the batman was hitting several of them and falling behind. Obviously Batman's car was not thin enough to go through the scattered trees, lucky for them the van was.

Joey finally spotted the road and swerved on. He pulled over and moved into the back so the Joker could take over from there. The Joker jumped over and drove toward Gotham. This will have been the first time he took them to a hideout besides a warehouse. He drove on as the other three slept. Then something accord to him. "Uh, doll," he said, "where is, uh, _Marcus_?" Artemis looked up at him with sleepy eyes.

"Oh," she said yawning, "he is at our old apartment in Gotham."

"How _did_ you manage to find him, hmm?"

"Because your mother told me," she saw laying back down with her eyes closed, "she told me a long time ago that you were told he was dead but he wasn't, he was in a maximum security prison." She was still half asleep and not even paying attention to the fact that the Joker was not watching the road and was on the wrong side, she probably didn't really care either.

"And, uh, where might she be?"

"She died," mumbled Artemis, "some years ago actually." There was a loud honking noise.

"Why did you not, uh, **tell** me," he snapped.

"Because I didn't think about it. It never came up so I never mentioned it. Didn't think you really cared one way or the other, but we have Marcus for you. We kept him alive so you can finish him off." The Joker had to give her that, at least she was good enough to let him have his father, but that didn't excuse the fact that he didn't hear about his mother's death every. He turned his attention back to the road and quickly swerved over causing Artemis to be slammed into the van wall and Damian squished her. Artemis groaned in response. Joey woke up and looked around to see what happened and looked over at the Joker who was laughing histerically.

He just shook his head and went back to sleep. He missed it, oh well. Artemis sat up a bit dizzy and looked over at the Joker with confusion. He just laughed at her. "Trucker drove off the road," he said. Artemis smiled a bit, to bad she missed that, she would have loved to see it. The Joker drove back to Gotham in thought that was good enough for him; he forgave her for not telling him.

……………………………………

Harleen paced her office nervously. What would happen if Batman caught up with them? Would he hurt them, would he hurt the Joker? The idea pained her. Why did Artemis look at her with such hatred? Sure Artemis looked at her with dislike before, but when she saw the way Harleen and the Joker stared at each other her eyes had darkened and her face seemed somewhat shallower.

She eagerly watched the news waiting to hear news on it. She finally had to plan on see her other three patience before too long. It was getting late in the day and she wanted to watch the news at lunch instead of pulling them out one at a time. First she saw Dr. Crane, then Selene, then Ivy. Finally her and Ivy left for lunch and sat at the Arkham MOD table. They sat and watched to find out what was going on.

"Okay, and we have Tasha Bane out in front of Arkham to tell us a story with Jim Gordon, commissioner of Gotham Police Department, about the Joker escaping last night."

"Thank you Grant," she said, "Now I have commissioner Gordon with me, commissioner, tell me how you think the Joker escaped."

"Well, Tasha, I would just like to say I'm just happy to be on TV!"

"We are happy to have you!"

"Well, last night it seems that the Joker's Circus broke in, we have them on security cameras, breaking out the Joker and stealing his belongings. We believe there was someone at the hospital that morning that saw him escape but said nothing. We aren't sure who that was as their face does not show on the camera."

"You said that Batman appeared last night?"

"Yes," he said, "batman was present but we found what looks to be pieces left over from his car. We do not think he made it through the woods."

"And why not search for finger prints," asked Tasha.

"Ahaha, oh Tasha, you're too funny. Finger prints! HA! Well, if you will excuse me we need to look further into the investigation."

"And there you have it," she said, "this is Tasha Bane, signing off!"

Harleen gave a sigh of relief, he was safe for now, but how long would that last?

……………………………..

Alright, sorry this is a bit late, but I'm not on a time limit saw HA!


	17. step 8: Obedience

Alright so I just smoked a couple bowls I watched a bit of Dane Cook and it inspired me to write a part of this chapter. Yes, one part is based off of a Dane Cook spin that I just finished watching! I luv uncut!!!

: It was a pretty long review lol. Yes, batman torture is bloody funny! Ahaha excuse the pun it was not originally intended. It's okay, your secrets safe with me until he gets online and reads that…..but yes it is nice to see even _he_ has a heart. Skidoodle!

Chapter 17

Gordon stood on the roof of the GPD thinking about the night he had so far. It wasn't even close to over yet. As usual Batman was sitting in the shadows watching him. "Gordon," he said. Gordon turned around in shock but sighed in relief seeing him.

"Oh, hi, batman," he said not really caring at the moment.

"The Joker's Ringleader," said Batman. Gordon gave him a look of confusion, "the Joker's circus, the girl seems to be the Ringleader."

"What about her," he asked.

"Does she remind you of the Joker?"

"Well, yea, actually, now that you mention-" He stopped midsentence with sudden realization. "Batman," he said, "has your suit always had grey splotches all over it?" The batman looked at his suit and realized something, the damned bleach!

"Um…erm…uh…YES YES IT HAS SHUT THE FUCK UP!"  
"Sorry," said Gordon raising his hands in defense, "it's just I have never noticed that or the fact that you wore pink socks is all!"

"THEY AREN'T PINK! They are a very manly light red!"

"But pink _is_ light red-"

"You, you know what…nobody needs you Gordon, you suck as a police officer and you suck at life! Don't believe me, look at where you live, man, look at where you live! I hope you go die somewhere sometimes, I swear to God, I wish you would jump off something! Tasha Bane was right, you can't even check for finger prints! Did you ever think that maybe we can check for finger prints, find out who the Joker is, and just end this!? NOBODY has the same finger prints! Fuck you, _commissioner_ ! Fuck! You!" With that batman made a move to jump out of sight but missed and hit the edge of the roof and fell down bleeding out his mouth.

Gordon watched as he fell to the ground. "Artemis _does_ have a twisted mind, she has the same taste in color that her father had, so what that wasn't anything new." Then he remembered, no one told batman that the Joker was the Ringleaders father! "Damn," he said. He put out his cigarette and walked back inside to continue the investigation on where the Joker's whereabouts were.

………………………….

The Joker pulled the van in Artemis's old drive way. He sent them in to get the computer, Marcus, and their possessions that were necessary. Cloths, food, cell phones, not any bullshit like a video game system or a six foot hookah! They all nodded and left quickly and quietly to the house. Damian came out with Marcus tied up who was not being so quiet.

"Where the hell are we going now," he shouted. The Joker started to laugh watching Marcus reluctantly get in the van and even managed to head but Damian in his bad ear. This didn't seem to faze him too much. He hissed a bit but then punched Marcus in the face so hard the man went unconscious. Damian hauled him into the van and set out for his stuff.

He saw Joey leave with computer in hand. It was in a box ready to go and he reluctantly put it on top of Marcus's unconscious body. Artemis then came out with a bag full of food and dropped it on Marcus as well next to the computer. The Joker was up front giggling as each one left. Later they all came out with a bag of some kind holding their cloths and everything else. They all three threw them on top of Marcus and sat down across from him. Artemis looked around.

'Hey," she said, "has anyone seen Marcus? He is here right, cause he isn't in the basement."

"I thought I brought him out first," said Damian also looking around. The Joker was up front laughing hysterically. They all gave him a questioning look but he did not respond. He just started up the car. Joey pulled what looked to be a small zip lock bag and the Joker turned the van off.

"What is _that_," he asked. Joey pulle dup the bag and showed him. "I told you provisions only."

"Hey! You made me leave the hookah and it wasn't two feet it was three! I am not leaving the weed! If we get pulled over chances at least one person in here will kill the cop, it doesn't fucking matter, I'm not leaving without her!"

"Hey, **don't you roll that!** No, stop it! Don't you, uh, light that, no, oh you had _**better**_ not, you fucking bastard!" The Joker jumped from his seat and shot at Joey and held on to his neck. "**Don't. You. Enjoy. That**." Joey blew the smoke in the Joker's face and he threw Joey at all the stuff on the other side of the van. Damian and Artemis had been laughing uncontrollably at the scene. The Joker looked over at Artemis who was now clutching her ribs in pain. She was happily hurting. A smile tugged at his lips. Ah the laugher of your own child, no other laughter like it. He picked up the joint and made his way up to the drivers seat.

"Hey guys," said Joey trying to get up, "I found Marcus, we didn't leave him, he was just hidden behind the rest of the stuff."

"Oh look at that," said Artemis, "he decided to join us afterall."

"Hey, man, are you smoking that," asked Damian. The Joker waved the already almost joint at them.

"Damn," said Joey shaking his head, "good thing I got another one."

He drove them to another town just outside of Gotham. They drove up to a house out in the middle of nowhere. They pile out and followed the Joker to the front door. He took out a key ring with at least 30 keys on it. Artemis looked up at him in confusion. "Always need a, uh, backup hide out," he instructed. Artemis shrugged and watched him unlock the door. Inside was a dead police man with bits of computer scattered about him. "The, ah, last computer sort of, uh, _broke_," explained the Joker. "Hey," he yelled, "I, uh, told you morons to get rid of the body before I got _back_." Two men quickly removed the body. "Take this one while you are at it," he said killing the man who was told to get rid of the body. The other two took him to God knows where. Then, to score brownie points, they brought all the stuff from the van in and set it where ever it belonged.

The computer was being set up as the henchman took stuff to the owners place. Then they dumped Marcus's body on the floor and looked up at the Joker. The Joker thought for a moment, where oh where to put dear old dad.

……………………………

After cooling off and going to the dentist to make his teeth perfect again, Batman returned to the precinct. He walked into the offices where many police where working tirelessly on the case. A recently caught Circus wannabe walked over to batman with a look of excitement.

"Hey," he said, "wow even batman is with the fad these days! Gordon why can't you be cool like the rest of us?" The Circus wananbe had bleach stains all over his cloths and wore pink socks. A police officer stood up with bleach damage to his uniform and socks and looked batman and the Circus wannabe's outfits.

"Wow, it is so good to know that I'm still in fashion," said the cop, "you know when you get to be my age it's hard to keep up with this generation but when I saw that I was like 'there's no way' but I tried it anyway and I'm _so_ glad I did."

"Yea, after I saw Bruce Wayne get his house burnt down on the news and his cloths were bleach damaged and his socks were pink, I thought it was a European thing and next thing I know everyone is like that. Good thing the Joker's Circus did that or I would never have known that," said the Wannabe.

"The Joker," asked Batman in confusion. Wait a minute, the Joker's Circus didn't do that to his house he did. Batman looked over at Gordon who just shrugged. Batman turned to leave for Gordon's office with Gordon behind. "The Joker's Circus, huh?"

"Sorry," said Gordon, "but this would be the dumbest police report if I didn't tell people that, and I didn't want Mr. Wayne to look as incompetent as he really is, and Tasha Bane needed a story."

"Gordon, do you realize what you have done? This could make the Joker more powerful. If they were to set fire to Bruce Wayne's house, wait a minute, incompetent?"

"Well, it's kind of funny, actually, poor guy can't do his own laundry," he said snickering.

"I'm sure Mr. Wayne appreciates it, but could you stop giving out fake reports?"

"Oh, alright, anyway you were telling me something before you had to protect your man card."

"Why is it that the Ringleader reminds me of the Joker?"

"Well, nobody ever told you but Artemis is the Joker's daughter."

"Of course," he said as if he discovered a great secret, "does the public know yet?"

"Um, yes, they have known for quite some time."

"What!? How long?"

"Sense….back when all this craziness with the Joker tormenting Artemis started. You are the only one who didn't know. Don't you watch the news? Anyway we need to figure out where the Joker and his Circus is hiding out."

"I-I-I need to go watch the streets or something," stuttered batman as he ran out dramatically with his theme music playing and slow motion running. Everyone turned from their work to watch.

"Why doesn't he just walk out," asked Gordon.

"Because slow running is the new thing," said the Wannabe, "everyone's doing it. That's kind of how I got caught was the slow motion with theme music."

"Come on, Gordon, get with the program," said Ann Ramirez.

Batman ran out of the building and began his motion of confusion. He ran to his battered car and drove home. He turned on his camera screen to see Alfred. "Alfred," he said.

"Yes, hold on Master Bruce, my friends are facebooking me."

"Alfred, she is the Joker's daughter," he said. Alfred turned back to batman.

"Yes, I know, everyone knows, I'm trying to facebook my homies now call me back when I'm done." He hung up on batman and he made his way back to his temporary cave. He turned on his computers and began studying the screens as his own facebook popped up. He checked his Apps, left comments on his homie's walls, checked his inbox than switched over to Artemis Napier's file. He then pulled up Marcus Napier's police file. It was promising to be a long night.

……………………………………………..

The Joker logged on and saw all who were on facebook. Hmm, batman was logged in. He decided to add him as a facebook friend and left him a message on his wall.

………………………………………..

"Batsy! I found you!"

"Damn," cursed Bruce, "should have just stuck to my Bruce account." He typed in a reply.

……………………………………

"What do you wan't Joker!" The Joker laughed mischievously and looked over at the others who were tying Marcus's shoe strings together. He turned his attention back to the computer and replied with an attachment.

………………………………………

Batman opened the attachment and a hundred yellow smiley faces popped up on his screen with macabre smiles. Then a purple crown with words on a ribbon saying 'you got punkd'!" His computer started to malfunction and he could not turn it back on. Batman hit it a couple times. Dammit a virus!

………………………………..

The Joker laughed out catching everyone elses attention accept for Marcus as he was unconscious at this time still. They came walking over to find out what was so funny.

"Just, uh, playing with _Batsy's_ computer." He showed them the virus and they chuckled a bit. The joke isn't quite as funny when you have to explain it. He got up from the computer and let Artemis have it.

Artemis logged into her facebook and saw a message on her wall from Kayla, Damian's foster sister! "Hey you guys, check it out, Kayla wrote on my wall." Everyone walked over to her computer to read the message.

"Kayla as in Damian's sister Kayla," asked Joey.

"That's the one," said Artemis, "let's see, 'Artemis you stupid bitch, my life is Hell now because of you. I'm glad your mother died so she won't have to deal with her psychopathic daughter. Everyone hates in you including the joker', well okay Kayla." She started to type a reply.

_I don't know why you are blaming me if your life is shitty. Your dad has a brain tumor because of his alcoholic, jobless, slutty daughter. HAHAHA_

_Btw, I still know where you live :)_

_Comment_

The others laughed at the message and went back to doing whatever. She then saw a message from Harleen Quinzelle. Artemis thought back for a moment and remembered that Harleen had given her her facebook just in case. Damian and Joey got it to. She opened up the message from the inbox and read it to herself.

_Artemis_

_I know you don't like me much but I just wanted to say that we can try. I am sure you know about how I feel about your father, I saw it on your face today, and I don't blame you. I just wanted to make sure that the Joker, the others, and you got to safety. Please let me know and if is alright with the Joker maybe he can add me_

Artemis blinked a couple of times. Did that just really happen? A smile crept on her face. She messaged Harleen back.

_Harleen_

_I am very well aware of your feelings for my father and his feelings for you._

She looked over at the Joker giggling at Damian and Joey as they started drawing on Marcus's face. Oh yea, he didn't really care, he was just fucking with the girls head. Artemis had no idea how right she was. The Joker really didn't care, he just had someone new to play with, it was just different when he messed with her head is all.

_I have no right to tell you or the Joker what to do. We got away okay, just a few injuries, nothing some stitches, boards for bone support, and bandages made from Marcus's prison uniform couldn't fix. Damian won't stop bleeding but the Joker assures me that he will be okay._

Looking over she saw Damian putting a funny clown face on Marcus.

_Joey's arm is at a weird angle but the Joker pulled it back in location. After he was done screaming the Joker mumbled something about a muscle tare he put the arm in a sling made of Joey's own shirt and told him don't move it to much._

Artemis watched Joey write JOKER on Marcus's forehead.

_The Joker was shot a couple of times and he can't get one of the bullets out but he is drinking to kill the pain. He had me try and pull it out. I got it after twisted and turning a few times in the whole._

The Joker grabbed his hair spray decided to join in the fun and spray painted Marcus's hair green.

_Me, I'm trying not to stand on my sprang ankle. My other one is broken but if I don't move it to much and I continue to pop these loratabs once ever hour I'm not in as much pain. I lost one of my fingers and I was afraid to type on the keyboard but as long as I don't use that finger I'm fine._

_We are all in good health here and hoping you are okay. Let me know how you are feeling. I will tell the Joker your add offer when he is conscious again._

Artemis pressed the confirm button and got off so Joey could have a go. "Anything other, uh, interesting messages, hmm?"

"Oh, yea, Harleen asked that you add her," said Artemis. The Joker then backed up to see his handy work.

"It's a, uh, wonder he hasn't woken up yet," said the Joker.

"Yea, that is curious," she replied.

"So what now," asked Damian.

"Put him in the garage," said the Joker. Damian heaved the man on his shoulder and drug him out to the garage.

The Joker walked off to the kitchen to find something to eat and Artemis walked off to go find her pit bull. "Hey, Joey, where is Savage," she asked.

"He's running around here somewhere," said Joey. Artemis walked off to go find him. Joey turned back to the computer. Alright, time!

………………………………

Harleen saw that she had a message in her inbox. She clicked on it and saw it was from Artemis. She stood up in shock at what she read. She wanted to scream in horror, what the fuck happened!

………………………………..

Alright! End of another chapter! Hope you enjoyed.


	18. Step 9: Find peace with enemies in war

Okay so I took a few lazy days but as you must have guessed by now I do that a lot. So lets reply to some reviews give props to DC and move along with the story.

Mint Chocolate Chip: Well he had to have a mental break down sometime it was all just building up. Besides I made him trendy what more do ya want from me?

: Yes, we all enjoy a good joke against Marcus, just makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. The next answer is yes, yes it is very wrong, but that's what makes it so right. Couldn't figure out which facebook you were talking about though. And I totally agree with the reviews comment.

Hells Twilight: Why thankyou, I _am_ a clever person…aren't I….LMFAO just fuckin with ya. But yes thank you I at least make an effort at it.

Now. The props going to DC are the table model of the town from the movie Beatle Juice, Freddy's hat, and the noose from Robin Hood: Men in Tights that was around Robin Hood's neck. Congratulations!

Chapter 18

Marcus opened his eyes and looked around. He was in a small garage that had stuff just scattered about. He was tied to a support beam sitting down. The door started to open and the Joker appeared almost dancing with the little bitch skipping up behind him. Who where these people!?

Wait, she introduced herself as Artemis Napier, could she be a relative of his? And what was it the Joker wanted with him? He had a feeling that all answers were about to be answered. A window opened and the hippie boy climbed in with the taller one coming in through the side door.

"Dude, why not use the door," asked the tall one.

"Cause he is afraid of door knobs," mumbled the bitch. The Stoner didn't look to have much to say about his reasons. Marcus looked over at the Joker who's attention was solely on him. Marcus didn't know what was going on but he wasn't going to sit there quietly.

"What in the name of God could I have possibly done to have you through all this trouble of kidnapping me out of jail," shouted Marcus. The Joker's mouth twitched. That _voice_ rang in his ears like an angry rush of wind just waiting to knock a few people down until the storm felt the need to finally settle. Leaving the victim of such anger on the ground completely deprived of whatever it was they had left. Yes, these where the unhappy thoughts plaguing the Jokers mind, he didn't like to think anything but happy thoughts, this man had to go.

The Joker pulled out oen of his switch blades and walked toward Marcus. He was barely two inches away from Marcus's face as he drug the blade across his shoulder and spoke to him very slowly. "You wanna know how I got my scars," he hissed. Marcus looked up at the Joker, it was the first time he ever got an up close look at him. The wicked scars brought back a painful memory from when he was drinking. He could almost see the whole scene playing in his head. They fight between him and Jack, the kitchen knife, Mona on the ground bleeding and his son crawling out of the door and down the street to his home with his face cut wide open.

His own voice from that night rung in his head as his 24 year old son tried to fight back to protect Mona. "_Why so seriou-s" _. When he did not answer the Joker, the Joker slowly stood up and backed up about ten feet. "So," said the Joker, "who wants a shot at him first, hmm?"

"ME," demanded the stoner eagerly jumping up and down.

"No way, me," argued the taller one who Marcus now recognized as the one who hit him.

"You already got to get a shot in," argued the stoner.

"He's right," said the bitch, "you did get to put a shot in already."

"So did _you_," argued the tall one.

"I know that, Damian, I did it on the news like twice, remember," she snarled, "let Joey have a go." Joey grabbed a hold of a fold up chair and smashed him across the face with it. Joey dropped it and walked backwards with a big smile on his face.

The Joker and his Circus laughed as Marcus turned his head back to their direction and blood dripped from his mouth. He felt a bruise begin to settle on the side of his face. "Jack," he whispered. The Joker stopped laughing. His face grew angry. He walked up to his father and stuck his blade in Marcus's side. Marcus cried out in pain. "**Jack **is, uh, _dead_," he hissed. Marcus felt his sons hot putrid breath on his face but it was nothing compared to the pain in his side. The Joker stood back again and the girl ran up and kicked him square in the nose. Blood began to spew out as he fell backwards. The girl lifted him back up and he spat blood in her face.

The Joker walked up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Oh, uh, dad, let me introduce to you your granddaughter Artemis. The last time you saw her she was still in her momma's belly. _Remember_? Well, she's a big kid, about 16 now, and I, uh, just found her two months ago." He had the most twisted smile on his face. Marcus looked up at his granddaughter. His painful expression turned to one of defiance. If he was going to die via torture he might as well make every hit count, right?

"You know, Artemis, is it, you remind me a little of Mona. She was a pretty young thing but the most cold hearted bitch I ever met. " Artemis climbed on top of him and proceeded to hit him with the hit of her knife in the face as hard as she damn well pleased. Finally the Joker pulled her off and she continued to thrash about. "Yea, you remind me of your dad to! Anytime something doesn't go your way you throw a violent tantrum and wonder why everyone hates you. Artemis stopped and thought for a moment.

She remembered something Harleen had told her once on facebook about her aggression. _Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and calm down. Put yourself in a good place._

Artemis closed her eyes and put herself in a different place, her world, where the reality didn't exist, and her every nerve relaxed and she was no longer struggling to kill Marcus to death. The Joker let her go and stepped back. Artemis took her deep breath and smiled. She opened her eyes and looked at Marcus.

"Marcus, you remind me of my mother, tied to a chair and still talking shit," she said with an evil smile. She was reminded of a time her mother had been tied to a chair by one of her many husbands. Marcus was not really sure how to respond so he didn't. He just blinked at her a few times. Then the boy called Damian came up behind the Joker.

"My turn," he said holding a paintball gun. The others stood back so as not to get paint on themselves and Damian aimed the paint gun right at his knee cap. Damian pulled the trigger and a sickening crack was heard and Marcus's gasp of pian. "Wow," said Damian, "that was awesome. He pointed the gun at his own foot. The other four watched to see if he was actually going to do it. Damian pulled the trigger and nothing happened.

"Dammit," said Joey.

"Damian, you need to , uh, make sure that you _reload_ before leaving," snapped the Joker.

"Really, Damian," said Artemis shaking her head.

"Quick, were do you get paintball stuff this late at night," asked Damina.

"The super market," said Artemis, "where is one at?"

"On the corner of 15th and Spooner," said Joker. Damian quickly dashed out in slow motion with theme music.

"I just think that's the coolest thing," said Artemis.

"Yea, you know I heard that batman is doing it to," said Marcus watching him go.

"Yea, you know he is also doing the blotchy cloths thing," said Joey.

"Didn't, uh, _Brucy_ start that one," asked the Joker.

"Yea, you know his house burnt down and the news said it was _us_ but it, uh, _wasn't _us," said Artemis.

"No shit," said Marcus, "who was it?"

"I have no idea," said Joey, "but I left the house that day and people were all point and whispering and shit and I heard someone was like 'hey, he set fire to Wayne Manor' and I was like 'what the fuck' and had to like look it up online."

"I don't remember that being on the news," said the Joker, "musta missed it in Harleen's _therapy _session." He started to giggle to himself.

"So, like, when's batman due to show up," asked Marcus.

"When he or GPD find out where our, uh, hideout is," said the Joker.

"How long does that normally take," asked Artemis. The Joker started to laugh.

"It won't," he said, "trust me, Batsy never found my hiding places before."

……………………………………………..

Batman kicked in the door and walked in to look around. It looked like they took the essentials and left. Obviously they were here at one point though, the TV was on, someone ate half a fruit roll-up and gas on the stove was on….wait….

Batman felt his eyes start to slowly close and felt himself wable about the room and itno the hall. Someone in the hall spotted him and ran over. "Sir, are you okay," asked the man.

"Gas leak, in the apartment," gasped batman. The man's face fell and he dropped batman on the ground and started knocking on doors and telling people to get out of the building. A bigger man picked up batman and carried him out. Soon as everyone was out of the building they called up 911.

Batman was sent to a hospital under secrecy. No one was aloud in the room except a few select people. Gordon heard that he was aloud in that room. Turns out batman had more problems than a gas leak. Gordon held his breath standing at the door, he would learn who batman really was.

……………………………………………..

The Joker was growing board of this. The four of them had beaten this man to a pulp and he could tell that he others wanted something else to do. It was time to end it. The Joker pulled out his switch blade and walked over to his father. He looked the man in the eyes for the last time….again.

"Jack," Marcus whispered, "I'm sorry." The Joker eyed him for a moment. He lowered himself to his fathers face.

"You are sorry, because you are about to die, and you know it. Redemption is what you want," the Joker just shook his head, "Forgiveness and Redemption are not welcome here, only acceptance of what is and what will be." He plunged the knife in the mans chest.

His last dying words where:

"I love you Jack."

………………………………………

Whatever it was Marcus said it upset the Joker greatly. He stormed out of the room and jumped in the van and drove off. He did not say anything to the other three. He figured if he didn't say anything they might go away for the night so he could be left alone when he finally got back.

Artemis went on the computer and looked through files from other computers. She got up and left outside grabbing her purple cowboy hat, long black coat, her new sawed off shot gun, and a few knives. Joey and Damian watched her go and looked at each other.

"Want to go trash some Christmas decorations," suggested Damian.

"I'm down," said Joey.

…………………………………..

Artemis hitch hiked a ride with a trucker. "Where you headed miss," asked the truck driver. He was an older gentleman with a grey beard, rather thin for a trucker, and kind eyes. Artemis smiled and walked over to his door. She swung it open and dragged the man out. He fell to the ground and got up and pulled a gun out. "Now listen, missy, you may be a girl, but I ain't about to let you just take my truck, ya here?"

"Yea, I here," she said mimicking his country accent, "but I ain't the kinda girl to be lettin' no _big bad man_ tell me what to do. Honey, this here is _my_ truck." She climbed up and shot the man through the window. He dropped dead and she drove the semi to Gotham City Hospital.

She drove down the road with her foot up on her dash driving along down the street with the sun shining in her face with sun glasses. Her outfit of choice for this adventure? A black button up shirt with the top two buttons undone and it hung messily on her thin frame, and a bright green plaid skirt with a pair of black cowboy boots. Her lipstick was blood red and she had a red tear drop draw in the corner of her eye, she was thinking about making it a tattoo, with dark eye shadow. She took the sexy cowgirl clown to a whole new level.

Cowgirl clown, she liked it, why not? Her father was the Clown Prince of Crime after all. Aw well, the public already had an image for her, it was the Ringleader, maybe one day when she went solo. The early morning sun was almost up and the cool air was turning a bit warmer and a police car sped passed her with the sirens going off and swerving around in the road. Artemis turned on the CB radio.

'Hey," she said, "you in the cop car!"

"Heelllooo," said the familiar voice.

"Joker," she said, "how did you get that car?"

"It's a, uh, long story sweetheart," he said.

"Oh, another time then?"

"Yes," he said.

"Well, where are ya headed?"

"Heeheehee nu-uh, you gotta wait to watch the _news_ doll," he said.

"Oh, well, okay."

"Where, uh, are yea anyway?"

"I'm in the diesel truck you just passed," she said. She saw the Joker lean out the driver window and look at her. She leaned out the truck window now swerving about as well, and waved and he waved back.

"So, ah, you decide to ditch the villain gig and get a job carting Coke-Cola around?"

"Yup, that's exactly it," she said. The Joker could be heard laughing on the other end, "if you can be a pig with a badge I can be a trucker."

The Joker laughed a bit more then cut off the conversation. She leaned her head back and turned on the country music and jammed out on the way to Gotham. When she finally arrived she made her scheduled shipments and when she finished it was growing dark out.

"Man," she said pulling out a bottle of Coke, "this is actually hard work. Need to talk to the boss tomorrow about a raise." She walked into the hospital as if she belonged there. She saw that the select few were sitting in the waiting room and Gordon was walking in the door now. Artemis looked up and saw a camera that was pointing in the other direction. She saw the other cameras were swerving about slowly keeping an eye on everything.

Artemis quietly picked up a chair and set it under an air vent. When all cameras were everywhere but on her she quickly climbed up and got into the vent. Thank god the ceiling was low on this part of the wall. She climbed up and over to what she guessed was batmans room. Gordon was standing at the curtain and slowly opened it.

"Bruce Wayne," he breathed, "_you're_ batman?"

"Yes," said Bruce weakly, "I trust you enough to let you know. They aren't where we thought, Gordon, they are somewhere else. I don't know where but when I get out I will find them."

"Slow down," said Gordon, "focus on rest now. We will hold things off the best we can until batman is healthy enough to start fighting again. Lucius is working on something that will better help you detect gas's in the area. He figured that you seem to get attacted with them often enough." Bruce chuckled a bit.

"Remember, if the media asks, I'm nobody," he said.

"I know. You are some nameless guy off the street," finished Gordon, "it's just. I can't believe batman doesn't know how to do his own laundry."

"Alright get out," said Bruce, "I'll be back on the streets when I'm well." Gordon just smiled at him. Bruce smiled back, he knew Gordon meant no harm, but still. Gordon got up to leave but stopped at the doorway. Artemis almost sighed with annoyance. Couldn't he just leave already? "Bruce," he said, "one more thing. Thank you."

"For what," he asked.

"For everything,' he said, "I know you feel like no one appreciates what you do, but we do, we really do. The world is just in such panic right now they don't realize how much they really do need you." With that Gordon turned around and left. Bruce was left speechless. The question of why he ever bothered being batman was practically answered for him. He did it for them, for the people, he did it for the innocents of Gotham who work hard every day to try and make the world a little less evil. To give them hope, and a light in the darkness. They needed him as an example that you should not be afraid to stand up for your fellow man.

Artemis didn't get it nor did she care. She pulled the vent up and crawled into Bruces room. She started to hum circus music in an almost angelic way as she walked around the curtain that had batman on the other side. Bruce felt his heart stop for a moment.

Artemis smiled with delight as the heart monitor missed a beat. He was scared. She quickly opened the curtains and looked Bruce Wayne in the eyes. Bruce shivered a bit, so much of the Joker in her tortured soul, yet he could see a bit of humanity in her, maybe he could save her? No, not likely.

"Bruce Wayne is Gotham's Dark Knight? Well, well, well." She laughed cruelly. "You know, you were so good as to come visit me in the hospital that I figured I would do the same. She plopped down in the chair next to Bruce on his right. He flinched back a bit. She gave him a small smile. "I'm not here to hurt you," she said softly, "actually the Joker doesn't want you out of the picture. Batman I mean. Don't even worry."

"How do I know this isn't a trick," he asked. She swiveled in the chair a bit and looked down at her cowboy boots.

"Honestly, Bruce, if I was going to hurt you I would have done so by now, to let you know that you were going to get hurt. You know, start things off on the right track, no confusion."

"You have let the Joker take over you," he said. Artemis pulled out some cards and put the bed table over Bruce. She shuffled the deck and passed out cards.

"Do you know how to play Gin Rummy," she asked. Batman nodded his head and picked up the card. "I did let the Joker take over my sanity but to be honest it has been waiting to happen for years."

"What do you mean," he asked, still eyeing her and his cards.

"Well, my mother was a prostitute and a drug addict," she said, "people who grow up in that environment aren't really, uh, the _winners_ in life." Bruce nodded a bit and made his move. It was Artemis's turn.

"So why are you here," he asked, "if you don't want to kill me then what _do_ you want?"

"Just want to get away from the craziness for a moment. I do enjoy it but I still need a sane conversation. And to be perfectly honest I need a break from everyone else. The Joker is constantly up and on the move. Damian is a bit dull at times. He is just so competitive sometimes. Joey, oh Joey, lord knows if I didn't have him to baby sit I wouldn't know what to do."

"You do a bad job," commented Bruce. Artemis laughed at him. "You don't seem to be too worried about fighting the insanity."

"No," she said, "for the first time I feel real freedom. I've been locked up in a cage for so long I never knew freedom. I just feel alive."

"Ever thought of fighting for the other side," suggested Bruce.

"Uh, don't get me wrong Bruce, we are _not_ friends, I just need some chill time is all. Need to kick back and stop being the enemy for a minute. This whole scene is completely under the table."

"Of course," said Bruce, "Gin!" Bruce shuffled the deck this time and passed out the cards.

* * *

Okay so after Batman's spazz attack I gave him some good moments here but it was starting to look like he was going to turn away from being the hero and we can't have that.


	19. Step 10: Love has no boundries

Alright so the last chapter I gave batman a break. I've decided to make things really interesting.

Chapter 19

When the Joker did not return it was getting very worrisome. Artemis found herself looking in the drive way to see if he was back. Damian tend to watch the door turning his good eat at it to make sure he heard it open. Joey fought the urge to text the Joker. He groaned in frustration as he put the phone down for the hundredth time. "This is stupid," snapped Joey, "man, let's do something!"

"Like what," asked Damian.

"I don't know, something," said Joey frustrated.

"Anyone watched the news lately," asked Artemis.

"Nope," said Damian, "we have all been watching out for the Joker."

"So none of us thought to watch the news for the Joker," asked Artemis.

"I thought _you_ were going to watch the news," said Damian.

"I thought Joey was watching the news," argued Artemis.

"News bores me," said Joey.

"That is not the point," snapped Artemis, "remember when I came home and told you guys how I passed the Joker and he told us to watch the news?"

"Well, the Joker has been missing for two days," said Damian, "we will have to look at the Archives."

"I'll do it," mumbled Artemis. What if there was a reason for him telling her to watch the news. She got on the computer and looked up the archives. She found a story on the Joker from just yesterday. She mumbled the words to herself. Apparently when he was in the middle of a one man bank robbery he stole a squad car and was caught by batman. Batman took him to Arkham Asylum laughing like a maniac and his last words were 'Artemis don't come after me'. The paper described it as a threatening tone. Artemis gulped a bit, thank god for that, all she has to do is wait for him to get out of Arkham again…wait a minute!

She stormed over to where the other two were hawk eyeing the driveway. "Stop waisting your time," she snapped, "he went and got himself locked up again and he said not to come after him."

"Isn't that a good thing though," said Joey, "man, if we had gone to save him he would have been pissed off."

"Hello, why do you think he is at Arkham?"

"For Dr. Quinzell," said Damian.

"Really? Why," asked Joey. Artemis just growled in frustration. She didn't know why but she was angry and extremely jealous. The Joker would rather go and get locked up with some blonde psychology wannabe then be at home with her for a fucking day!? The world was upside down now. He went through all that trouble and now his attention is on someone else!

Joey and Damian exchanged glances. "What just happened," asked Joey.

"Artemis is acting like a jealous child," said Damian irritated.

"Why?"

"Because her father found himself a girlfriend. He went back to Arkham on purpose so he can flirt with the good doctor. Artemis is jealous of Dr. Quinzel."

"Oh man, that's gotta suck, especially sense she hates Harleen so much."

"Yea, no shit, let's go fuck up a neighbors house or something. Like kick the door and just throw shit all over the floor."

"Only if there is a shredder machine," said Joey following.

…………………………………..

Harleen sat in the office alone with a bottle of whisky and a shot glass. She loaded the glass and shot it down. She licked her lips. When batman threw the Joker on the floor at her feet he was bleeding and bruised. The message she had received did not help her out emotionally. She quickly had the Joker taken to the emergency room and sat by his side at the small desk. When he finally opened his eyes he give her a smile. She smiled back "I'm glad your okay," she said. She turned to leave the cell when a firm hand grabbed her. She turned around.

"Going, uh, _so_ soon?" Harleen felt a smile creep up on her face. No one around was awake and the guards were excused for switch out. They had half an hour. If there was one thing Harleen could say about the Joker it would be that that man knows how to use what the good lord gave him.

Now here she was sitting in her office taking shots wondering about her life now. After some quick hot sex with the biggest maniac in Gotham city you start to think about yourself. She suddenly got a nutty idea. Why the hell not! She got fired she could still see the Joker when he managed to break out! She got up and left Arkham. It was midnight and there was only one store open.

She went in, took a sexy Harlequin outfit, some cheap face make up, and a jokers hat to go with the outfit. She left the store without paying. The clerk wanted to say something but her eyes were insane and danced with fury. Fury that Hell hath not. Harleen jumped in her car and headed back to the asylum.

……………………………..

The Joker looked up as he heard his guard talking to someone. "Excuse me doctor but I cannot let you in without an escort. Not while he is conscious. Why are you dressed like that?" Next thing the Joker knew there was a loud gunshot and the guards brains were splattered all over the floor. The Joker smiled as Harleen stood before him dressed like a Harlequin. She looked like a china doll in the moonlight. She opened the cell door with the guards key and the Joker lead the way out.

……………………………….

Everyone got up. They all crawled out of their beds, their prison cells, their spots on the side walk and watched the news on the street corner, on their own TV, the cafeteria TV, radio's and just about any device to turn on a news report. Gotham was constantly on edge as to what happened last night, what happened that morning, and what may happen that night. The news was a city wide obsession for everyone but Bruce, he preferred to sleep.

"Today on GNN we have a story on the Joker once again. It seems that he spent two days in Arkham Asylum before a psychiatrist of his named Doctor Harleen Quinzel was seen shooting a night guard and breaking the Joker out of his cell. Dr. Arkham says that she was his doctor and that they could not have predicted the outcome. We have Tasha Bane with the Joker's Circus."

"Thank you Grey, I'm Tasha Bane here at the Joker's last hideout." Damian was in the back with a big sign that said "HI MOM". Joey was jumping around with a Number 1 phone finger and Artemis was jumping with joy wearing a baseball cap and having a sparkler in hand. They all crowded Tasha excitedly. "So you guys look like you're having a good time, what are your opinions on the Jokers escape."

"We're happy that the Joker is out of the Asylum and all," said Damian, "but we are celebrating because the Red Socks actually won a game! WOOOO!" Artemis took Damian's place.

"Hey, Joker, we're waiting for you man! THE RED SOCKS WON WOOO!"

Joey was in the background chanting 'we're numba 1!'. "Hey, man, hurry home, and bring your pretty little friend with you! THE CURSE OF THE BAMBINO IS LIFTED! YES!"

"And there you have it. Three teenagers realizing their dreams, back to you Gray."

"Isn't that wonderful, to see kids all excited," said Greg.

"George," said the weatherman, "why is it that every time someone says your name it is usually a different one? What is your real name?"

"The world may never know," said Grant smiling.

…………………………………………

Bruce wanted to scream. He walked down the stairs in such a fury not realizing that his shoes were untied. He tore down to his batcave and began rushing around getting ready. He tripped on his shoe string and stumbled forward into a puddle and slipped down the temporary batcave. "Alfred," he shouted.

"Yes, master Bruce," he yelled back.

"I need help!"

"Should I bring the latter, sir!?"

"Good idea!"

Bruce waited patiently. He never told anyone about his meeting with Artemis. It was the weirdest night of his life. He wondered if she would come by for another card game sometime? He looked up as the ladder came down. He climbed up and went back about his business.

……………………………………

The Joker pulled in the driveway and left for the front door. Harleen bounced behind him. He had a wicked smile. She was more animated then before. She seemed to have an undying energy. She also laughed and smiled more, she acted a bit stupider, but the Joker knew for a fact that she was beyond stupid. This was almost perfect. People would mistake her for an insane moron. He chuckled to himself.

"I'm Home," he sang. No one responded. Then he heard the backdoor open. "Hey, he's back," yelled Damian. Damian came running in with Joey, Artemis, Tasha and the camera man closely behind. Tasha fixed her hair and stood next to the Joker.

"The Joker has just arrived home with Dr. Quinzel. Tell me Joker, how does it feel to be out of the asylum?"

"Feels great Tasha," he responded.

"And Dr. Quinzel, why the Joker?"

"Well, Tasha, Mistah J is my hero. It's Harley Quinn now by the way," she said. Her voice had gone from serious to a high pitched Brooklyn accent. Tasha pulled Artemis back on camera. Artemis looked around nervously as she stood between her father and her doctor.

"Tell me, Artemis, what is it like now that your dad is seeing his therapist?"

"Um…I dunno."

"You are no longer alone in a house full of testosterone. Do you think things will seem different?"

"I guess so."

"What is it like having another woman in the house? More comfortable?"

"She just got here," argued Artemis.

"Back to you Greg."

"Wow," said Gray, "one big happy family.

………………………………..

Alfred turned off the news and continued cooking, nothing else interesting is going to be on the news now. Oh well, there is always tomorrow.

…………………………

Batman got on his facebook and wrote the Joker a message.

_Why did Harleen break you out of jail!?_

Five minutes passed.

_Because she is in love with me._

Batman replyed _That's stupid. Why would she love you?_

Another five minutes

_You're just jealous that I have a girlfriend and your probably still a virgin_

Batman gave a sigh, she didn't tell anyone either apparently. _You're the stupid one! I am not a virgin and you probably forced her to love you._

Five minutes.

_Batman you are a lonely loser with no life. You parade around in a bat costume night after night. Give it a fucking break and get over yourself. You aren't that great! Besides, you so ugly cats burry you in the sand!_

_Joker, I have a life outside of my work unlike _you_ who is probably sleeping with his work! You need to get over yourself before you tell anyone else to. You run around dressed in purple! Don't give me shit when you do the same fucking thing! You so nasty I get an ear infection when I talk to you on the phone!_

_Batman you couldn't please a woman if your life depended on it. Don't compare yourself to me. I at least don't have to live two separate lives. Must really suck to have to hide from everyone and lie all the time. You so fat the cow said 'damn'._

_Funny, I didn't hear your mom complaining._

_My mom says to stay off her window sill or she is going to call the cops perv! Your mom complained but I slapped that bitch and told her to shut the fuck up._

_My mom could kick your ass Joker._

_Yea, because your mom is a fucking butch!_

_Your dads a fucking bitch!_

_My dads dead you insensitive prick!_ The Joker laughed wickedly, that's gonna get to him.

_He was probably sick of hearing that laugh on a regular basis_ Batman thought for a moment then sent another message. _Hey I got to go need to get back to work._

_Whatever_

The truth was Batman had no more comebacks. He needed to get back to patrolling anyway.

"Anything interesting going on," asked Joey as the Joker started mumbling to himself.

"Batman just bitched out," he said. He went back to looking for whatever it was he was searching for. Harley watched him curiously. Artemis, who was sitting next to her, was more focused on filing her nails while Damian didn't even hear what was going on. He was busy trying to beat level 16 on Halo 3 to really care at the moment anyway.

"I'm board," said Artemis. The Joker wasn't even listening to her. He took a bunch of magazines and stalked off to his dark room. Artemis eyed him as he left. The Joker could feel her eyes on him but ignored it. He had better things to do then worry about teen drama.

"Wanna go shopping," Harley asked. Artemis gave her a very irritated look. She sighed in defeat of Harley's puppy dog blue eyes.

"Sure, why not," she grumbled getting up.

"Ooo, lets have a girls day!"

"You girls have fun," said Joey, "I'm gonna rudely interrupted Damian here and kick his ass at this game."

……………………………………

The Joker giggled as he put the letter together from words out of different magazines. His next plan was going to be big. Bruce Wayne had a birthday party coming up and he was making it the biggest party in Gotham. The Joker looked at his handy work and read the letter.

_I have kidnapped the Prince of Gotham. If you want to see him alive again you will have to push the button. It is a detonator to a bomb set up to a bomb in one of the daycares nearby. What's it gonna be Gotham? Your Prince or your children?_

_Love,_

_The Joker_

It was not normally his style to kidnap someone and leave a ransom note, but this could be fun! Not to mention it would be a blast taking Harley.

…………………………………

Next time:

Artemis goes shopping and is not happy about it

The Joker takes Harley and his Circus to Bruce Wayne's birthday bash

Bruce Wayne is hostage

Batman disappears?

Sorry this was such a quick chapter but I do need sleep.


	20. step 11: When in Rome do as the Romans

Alright no reviews two chapters in a row I guess they were bad chapters. Sorry I will try better :(

Chapter 20

There is nothing better than a woman and a girl shopping together. Connecting, gossiping, becoming good friends, and praying to god that the older one jumps off and dies, yes, nothing better than two women bonding!

Artemis could beg to differ. She was having a lousy time. She didn't really want to go shopping with Harley but the girl is very persuasive. Damn her for falling for this harpy's evil tricks. Working for the Joker for almost two months should have taught her to know better than to trust another person. Now she was being dragged all over the mall as Harley chattered her ears off.

"I'm just so excited," said Harley, "I know we haven't been the best of friends but maybe we can be! Let's hit J.C. Penny's first! Oh, they have this top I just _love_."

"Uh, Harley," said Artemis, "I'm not all that _excited_ about cloths. Most defiantly not cloths from J.C. Penny's. Look, can you just pick an outfit so we can go home?"

"Oh, don't be silly, you need an outfit to!"

"No, really, I don't," she insisted. Harley wasn't listening though. She dragged her around until finally they hit the destination. "Harley," snapped Artemis, "I really don't want to go in there!" Harley grabbed her by the arm. Artemis rolled her eyes as she was being forced against her will. Harley shoved all kinds of cloths in Artemis's hands. They actually weren't that bad. She had dark cloths in her hands that had some shades of greens and purples and blues that she liked and a couple reds here and there.

Harley shoved her in the dressing room and told Artemis to try the first outfit and then come out. Artemis wanted to scream, she would need a card game with batman after this, badly.

* * *

Joey and Damian broke into some random house and started to completely trash it. Joey shoved the TV on the ground then helped Damian pick up the coffee table and drop it right on the screen. They tore the couch to pieces with fluff flying through the air.

Joey made his way upstairs scratching the wall paper with his knife as he went. He landed in a bedroom. It was a boys bedroom. He guessed the boy was around his age. The walls were white with random posters hanging about the walls. The bed looked like it had not been made in ages, the desk was covered with school work, and a few cloths laying around on the floor. A picture of a blond headed boy with a football jacket on with a big letter C on the right side caught his attention. Joey assumed this was the boy that resided in the room.

What was most fascinating about the picture was the man standing next to him, tall, in his late 30's, short blond hair, muscular, with his arm around the boys shoulders. Joey looked at it in an almost sad way. He pulled the picture out of the frame and threw it in the trashcan. He then loaded up the trashcan with as many papers as he could.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Damian was busy searching the fridge for anything good. They ate diet and healthy foods. Yuck! Not what he wanted. He searched high and low for junk food but there were none to be found.

He walked over to the stove and saw it was a gas stove! He was reminded of good times when they let the gas leak in their own apartment. Ah, good times. He turned on the gas and left the kitchen and walked up the stairs. It would be a while before the gas spread. He found a girls room. In this room the walls were light blue with models all over it. Some cheerleader and team spirit stuff. Damian smiled, something about this bitch was sending him good vibes.

He turned around to see Joey running at him. "Dude,' he said, "we gotta get out of here now!"

"Why," he asked.

"I just set fire to the guys room!"

"You're joking!"

"Nope, why?"

"I just let the gas leak in the house you dumbass!"

"Oh shit!"

Joey grabbed their pet cat, Mr. Noodles, and Damian grabbed a picture of the girl's single picture for prom. She was gorgeous in her short black dress with the hot pink bow around the waist. The two ran down the stairs and out the door as quick as possible. They ran down the street to watch from a distance and sure enough, the house exploded.

"What now," asked Joey.

"Now, we find out who this girl is," said Damian observing the picture. Joey took it and looked at it. He gave Damian and sly smile and shoved him playfully. Damian laughed stupidly and shoved back. They both went to go look for a nice big tree to hide in when the ambulance, police, and the fire truck arrived.

…………………………………………..

The Joker looked up the time on the internet. Bruce Wayne would officially turn 35 at 9 pm sharp next week. He had the perfect plan set up, no plan. That's right kidz! The Joker was going to wing the whole thing! He even came up with a good idea to get the fat cats to play along with his ransom letter. If they didn't blow up the day care, he would blow Bruce Wayne up! He added that to his ransom not and stuck it in his pocket.

He opened the door and walked up the stairs to the first floor of the house. No one was around. Perfect, just like he needed it, only a few guards outside, nobody inside, he was at last alone. He plopped on the couch and turned on the TV. Tasha was on. The Joker became a big fan of Tasha Bane, then again, who wasn't?

"It seems that the house was blown up in a gas explosion. An incident similar had occurred to Bruce Wayne less than a week ago. Could the Joker be using his Circus to send Gotham a message?"

The Joker laughed his horrifying laugh. The news was great, always something new on. Too bad they didn't do reruns; he would have liked to see some of his older work from a year ago. He smiled at the memory of ripping off the mob then getting them to give him half the money so he could set it on fire with that Asian guy tied up.

Then another unwelcome memory came to him. He ran his tongue along his scares. He shouldn't have killed Marcus so soon. Aw well, he was gone now for good, no coming back this time! Why had no one told him that Marcus was alive anyway? People almost never surprised him, he could read people as if they were books, and they were easy to catch on to.

He had spent his youth in quiet content watching other people and how they react to certain situations. He once set his school bathroom trashcan on fire just to watch the others run around in a panic. You can drill them all you want; they just don't get it, but it was funnier that way.

………………………………………

Artemis was about fed up. She wanted to scream. Harley had her in a pink shirt. PINK! The shirt was cute, but it was pink! Harley cooed over how pretty she looked in it. Artemis slammed the door shut and got back in her own cloths. She came storming out. She was tired of being Harley's dress up doll. Time to make things more interesting.

She marched across the mall to the sports center and grabbed a hockey stick. Harley followed behind curiously and watched her pick up the stick and looked as if she was trying it out for a fit. She held it in two hands and observed the end. Then her dark eyes fell on Harley. Harley gulped a bit and shrunk back. What was she planning with that thing?

Artemis knew she couldn't touch Harley, what she wouldn't give to stick the end of the stick in Harley's face. She walked over to a worker who turned around to great her when THWACK!

The worker fell to the floor holding his face and was screaming in pain. Harley looked down at the worker in confusion and at Artemis who looked down with a happy smile. Artemis looked Harley in the eyes, she didn't look to sure what to do about the situation, so she handed Harley the hockey stick.

Harley took it and looked at Artemis questioningly. Artemis's head pointed at one of the innocent bystanders. Harley had an evil grin as she walked over to someone and wacked them right upside the head.

The man fell down and tried to crawl away but Artemis grabbed a bat and hit him in the side. The man fell over and gasped for air. Harley came over with the hockey stick and beat him over the back with it. At last they were laughing together, just like Harley wanted, they were bonding!

The police arrived at the mall and chased them down through the crowd. Artemis and Harley both ran away laughing wickedly as they rushed out the door and jumped in the car. Harley at the wheel, she turned the car around and chased the police in the parking lot trying to hit them.

"Look," said Artemis, "a woman in pumps! That's 20 points!" Harley drove straight into the woman. A sickening crack was heard when impact was made. Squad cars came rushing in with sirens blaring in the December air.

When you are being chased by police the last thing you think about is traffic laws. Harley was too busy trying to get them on the highway to worry about traffic lights and such. There was a wreck behind them blocking off three police cars. She drove up on the highway with three more closely behind.

She changed lanes and hit the break so the police would drive right passed her. As they began to slow down to get her back she rammed the car into one. Again, she rammed it, and again until finally the driver lost control and drove right into a wall. Artemis laughed till her sides hurt. "Alright Harley! One down two to go!"

Harley gave her a wild smile. Artemis had never seen this side of her before. She was always so serious and law abiding it pissed Artemis off. Right now, though, she was having a blast with her dad's new toy. Harley drove like a crazy person down the highway going over 100 mph. She laughed evilly as she saw a bus in front of her. She rode the bumper of the bus as the police followed trying to stop her. The bus turned on it's blinker and Harley quickly swerved out of the way. The bus driver put on his breaks and felt a large THUMP from behind him. He saw a black van racing down the street and behind a cop car was flipping over another right into the bus's back window! The car came crashing down after hitting the other head on and smashed the back of the bus. Quite a few people were killed and the ones who weren't were badly hurt.

"WOOO," cried out Harley as Artemis began to laugh again. She couldn't breathe anymore, it was just too funny!

"What next," asked Artemis. Harley looked behind her and saw that they were no longer being followed. She seemed deep in thought as to what to do next. At that moment bright lights could be seen up ahead. Harley had a huge grin on her face.

"Let's go to the fair," she squealed. Artemis flinched a bit, reminded why she hated Harley's voice.

……………………………………

The Joker watched as the next story was the mall under attack. They showed the security camera. Harley and Artemis were beating up a few people in sporting goods! He smiled, so nice to see the girls getting along. He jumped up, if the others were out having fun why not him? He walked out of the house and walked down to the next house. Lucky for him someone was sitting in their car, probably returning home from work. The Joker had an evil smile as he walked over to the car with blade in hand.

………………………….

Jordon was having a terrific night. He was finally out of work. It was 1 am and parties were all over the place, it was a Friday night after all, he was going to go out and have some fun! He turned to get out of his car when a frightening clown face appeared in his window. The clown was clad in a purple pinstripe suit with a green vest and a blue shirt. He had the most hideous scars on his face making him look as if he had a permanent smile on his face.

Jordon's face went pale, he knew that man, they never met but he knew those scars from anywhere. The Joker himself was standing outside of his car! The Joker tapped his window with his knife. Jordon sat still in horror with his mouth gaping.

The Joker got fed up with waiting on him and decided to open the door for him. Jordon took off his seatbelt and tried to run out the passenger's seat door. The Joker grabbed a hold of him by his hair and pulled him back. He drug Jordon out of the car and slammed him up against it. Jordon was so scared he couldn't breathe as the knife came up to his face. He eyed it as it came closer to him. The Joker rested it on his face right next to his mouth.

Jordon had seen this on the news before; he was going to cut his face up! Jordon couldn't party while he was bleeding to death at the mouth! Dammit he wasn't going to get laid tonight! The Joker looked a bit concerned. "You look frightened," he said, "is it the scars?" Jordon blink a couple of times. Well of course the scars scared him but what do you say when someone asks that kind of question? "Do you wanna know how I got 'em?"

Jordon looked around a bit confused. He wasn't too sure what the Joker was talking about but decided for the sake of survival to just shrug. "Well," said the Joker, "I had a good friend, like you, who had this great car. Well one day I asked if I could drive it and do you know what he said?"

"No," asked Jordon. The Joker giggled.

"That's, uh, exactly what he said. So he was driving us drunk down the, uh, _highway_ with me in the seat next to him. He was speeding down the street because he wanted to make it to this, uh, _party_ that was going on down town but wasn't paying any attention to what was going on. Well he wrecked it and said it was _my_ fault for not telling him. So I took this blade here and put it in his mouth, just like that, and uh, _why so serious?_"

I'm sure you have a good idea what happened to Jordon. The Joker jumped in the car and pulled out his cell phone. "Artemis," he said, "where are you and Harley?....Uh-huh….right." He hung up the phone and threw it out the car window and headed for the fair. The convenience of a pay as you go phone is it's disposable.

………………………………………..

Damian picked up his phone as it rang. "Hello," he said, "what's up boss? Oh yea? We'll be right there!" He hung up the phone and jumped out of the tree. "Come on Joey, enough torturing the cat. The Joker just called, wants us to meet him and the girls at the fair."

"Right on," said Joey dropping the cat in the dumpster and running to catch up.

………………………………

Bruce woke up the next morning to see Artemis sitting at his desk with a deck of cards in hand. He slowly and cautiously got up. "No worries," she said with a smile, "Alfred is at the store. Even if he was here, he would never find out _I_ was." Bruce was not worried about Alfred finding her, he was worried about Alfred and his own well being. Was she here for another card game or to kill him?

Bruce slowly rose from the bed and walked over to the desk. He sat in his seat across from her. She wore a green pea coat with her famous purple cowboy hat, a dark blue corset, and a long black skirt. The colors really clashed and looked too much like the Joker for his own comfort but he had to admit, she looked quite fetching. Fetching? He never even used that to describe a girl before.

Artemis gave him a smile. Her lips were blood red and had black and grey eye shadow on. Bruce took her cards and started to shuffle them never leaving her chocolate dark eyes. "Come on now Bruce, you act like we have never done this before, pass the cards man." Bruce passed the cards, his game of choice, blackjack.

"So," he said, "what have you been up to?"

"You don't watch the news do you," asked Artemis.

"No, I'm normally asleep at this hour. But the sound of shuffling cards in a silent room interrupted my sleep."

"Sorry," she laughed. That laugh sent shivers down his back. Bruce picked up his remote and changed it to the news. Behind Tasha was what was left of the carnival. It was burned to the ground and a few places looked as if they had been blown away. Bruce's jaw dropped in shock as an almost dead clown on stilts was in the background trying desperately to walk away with a bloody knee cap. How did they get the man on the stilts in the knee!? He turned his gaze over to her. Artemis wasn't even paying attention; she was busy thinking about her move.

"Did you and the Joker do that," he asked very seriously. Artemis just shrugged at him.

"Who else," she said in an obvious tone.

"Why," he demanded, "why all the madness!?"

"Why not," she asked.

"Because it's crazy!"

"Exactly," she said, "it _is_ crazy and, uh, I was never one to sit at home and do nothing. Look, Bruce, you don't _know_ me. I never really was a saint and I was always a bit off the deep end. The only difference between **now** and **then** is I have a much _happie_r outlook on life."

"Seems pretty bleak to me," he mumbled trying to forget that spooky feeling he normally only got around the Joker.

"That's because you're on the wrong side of a gun barrel, Brucy, don't take it personal."

"So why the random visits," he asked. Artemis had a smirk on her face.

"Just want to mix it up a bit," she said, "I'm actually here for a reason. Last night while we were blowing the park up the Joker had what looked to be a letter in his coat pocket. Well, me being the nosey one _I_ am, took a look at said letter. Do you know what it was?" Bruce leaned in hanging on every word. Anything to help stop the Joker. "It was a ransom letter."

"For who," he asked.

"For you," she said, "blackjack!" Her smirk turned to a big grin. "You know, you should go as Batman and see what happens. You know, just to see how the Joker would take it if Bruce Wayne was not at his own party."

"No," he said, "I will figure something out, but I'm not arriving as batman. It would look bad if I did not show up as Bruce."

"Oh, right, _you're_ little family c**ompany**. Well, uh, you didn't seem _too_ concerned about it last year."

"Last year I had killer ninja's crawling around my mansion!"

"Killer ninja's," she asked.

"The League of Shadows," he said dealing another hand, "they are in the mountains somewhere in China."

"Tell me more," she said leaning in. Bruce was going to say something when he heard footsteps coming toward his door. Artemis stood up and left the room. Bruce looked up and saw no one. _This must be what Gordon feels like every time I just disappear_ thought Bruce. Alfred opened the door holding breakfast in his arms.

"Good afternoon, Master Bruce," he said smiling.

"Hey Alfred," he responded. His head was swimming. Who's side was she on?

……………………………………..

After a week of causing havoc the night had finally arrived. The Joker was in an exceptionally good mood and was swiftly walking about humming a circus theme to himself. Everyone but Artemis gave him a rather confused look.

"Alright," he said, "we're, uh, going to Bruce's big party to wish him a _happy_ birthday." He laughed sinisterly. Harley looked really excited and squealed with glee. Damian and Joey looked at each other than at Artemis. She didn't look surprised. She just sat there building her card house. A small smile played on her face as she put the last two cards on top of the Joker Card mansion she had built from the ground up passed the table. She smiled at her accomplishment and use of the Jokers card that she and her two friends had been collecting every time they saw one and it all started with the six on top.

Harley was snuggling up against her 'puddin' in delight talking about how excited she was. The Joker did not appreciate the display of affection and shoved her right into Artemis's card mansion. Her smile vanished and she looked over at the Joker with a sad look.

"Sorry," said Harley with a grin and a shrug. Artemis just stuck her nose and the air and walked off in anger. She worked so hard on it! Harley gave a sigh of defeat and put her head on her hands. She just couldn't win for loosing with Artemis. One moment they are enemies, the next they are friends, and the next they are enemies again. It was a cycle that had jumped back and forth all week. It didn't really seem to bother anyone else, just Artemis and her.

Artemis was storming off in teen angst under the notion that nobody understood her when something caught her eye in her room. A letter? She cautiously walked forward and opened it. It was from none other than Bruce Wayne. How did he find her? She quickly opened the letter and read it.

_Artemis_

_I appreciate you telling me of the Jokers plans. I followed you home, I felt it was a bit unfair that you knew where I lived but I didn't know where you lived. I strongly believe that you want to play on my side so what I want you to do is help the Joker capture me. When I am in custody I need you to let me go in secret and I will disguise myself as the batman and capture the Joker. Do this for me and you will get a clean slate to start all over._

_Bruce Wayne_

Artemis cracked up laughing. This guy had some nerve! Then a thought came to her, what if this was a trap? The smile had grown to be a full blown grin. This could be a predicament that could possibly be in her favor. She walked back out. The only ones in the living room where Harley and Joey who were building her card house with the six from on the top put aside. Hmm, she needed Harley to take her to get a new dress. She wanted to look spiffy and Harley probably did to. She didn't feel to up to dealing with Harley, she kind of wanted to get in and out without attracting any sort of attention. Well, looks like Harley is going to get that calm shopping trip she was looking forward to.

Joey could come to see them modal dresses. She felt a smirk on her face. _Wow_ she thought _I have been smiling a lot lately without even noticing. I should stop that, not normal, people might thing I'm _crazy_ or something. Hahaha they think I'm crazy already. Hahaha I'm smiling again and I can't stop! My head is so much fun._

"Hey, Artemis," said Joey with a smile, "we are rebuilding your card house. The Joker and Damian went to get a few henchmen from the hide out and I think the Joker promised Damian he wouldn't kill them if he let him drive. I guess Damian is objective to the Joker's driving."

"Why's that," asked Harley behind her tongue, as she was biting it concentrating on the card house.

"My father is, uh, a bad driver," said Artemis, "seriously, whoever gave that man a license was probably really fucking drunk during the driving course. Either that or he threatened to kill him if he didn't then killed him anyway."

"Or the driving instructor worked for him," suggested Joey.

"You're dad doesn't have a license," said Harley, "he had no kind of identification, he prefers if people didn't know who he really is." Harley winked at them to signal that she, too, knew he was Jack Napier, and had also googled him on her computer at home.

Artemis and Joey glanced at each other then at Harley. "She's acting suspicious," said Joey with a smile.

"Yea," said Artemis, "she acts like she knows something."

"Well, his name was Jack Napier, wasn't it," she asked tilting her head to the side.

"Maybe," said Joey with a smile, "what's the answer worth to you?" Then he felt his nerves slowly start to shrink as Harley gave him an evil smile.

"Well, maybe an eye," she said giggling in a very evil way. Artemis busted up laughing and Joey's jaw dropped to the floor.

"She fucking got _you_ man! You been Punkd by Harley Quinn," said Artemis.

"Yea, no shit, the Joker told you about how he took my eye and you still like him? It's in-con-_ceivable_ !"

"Oh yes," said Harley, laughing at the movie reference, "I know about everything. He was honest about what I already knew, and he was obviously honest about what he told me."

"This is ridiculous," mumbled Artemis, crossing her arms and looking over to the left with her hip cocked and her foot locked.

"What," asked Harley and Joey.

"I need a dress for tonight," she said, louder then she meant to, but her head never turned to look at them.

"Ooo, let's go shopping," squealed Harley, "you can't go without me! Yay!"

……………………………………………….

FLASH BACK TO EARLIER THAT MORNING

Artemis had left the house to go 'shopping' with her unlimited Five Finger discount, for members only, after they tore the circus up. She would get a few knew outfits that had no pink, Harley volunteered to take what Harley didn't want, and strangely enough they fit her just right. Artemis couldn't say she was mad about it. Harley didn't go to be with _her_ she went so she could get out of the indoors for a little while. Artemis begrudgingly felt the same as Harley.

Anyway, pink wasn't working out, time for a few outfits that didn't have that color. She quietly broke into the mall and took a 'few' cloths here and there that would probably last her the week, as she had decided ultimately she would never where the same outfit for too long. It was really starting to bother her that she was wearing the same thing all day.

After being gone for almost an hour, the Joker text her and told her it was time to come home. Her long disappearance was making him really paranoid. Artemis rolled her eyes standing in Vanity with a thousand cloths stacked up in a walmart shopping cart she stole. She text him back saying she would be there in thirty minutes or less or it's free and left the mall. The Joker's respons; lol! :) hurry it up.

When she arrived she opened the trunks and grabbed 70 pounds of cloths all in bags from the store she stole them from. Fifty bags in each hand, she kicked the door and the Joker opened it. She walked passed him to her room and set them on the floor then went to grab another fifty bags.

The Joker, Damian, Harley, and Joey watched her as she rushed back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. The Joker stood up and walked out to the van to see how much more was left. He slumped forward a bit and his arms hung at his sides and his jaw hung. That's right folks, you just imagined the Joker in shock! The van was only half empty, how, in the name of hell, did she managed to get that many cloths from a mall and managed to get them all carried out there without getting caught!

She walked passed him and his eyes followed her. He spun the rest of his body around and went after her. "Um, _sweathart_," he said trying to catch up to her, "what is, uh, all **that** in the van?"

"Everything I took," she said, setting everything on the floor. It didn't even look like a floor anymore, it looked like a shop in the mall with everything on clearance! The Joker continued to follow her as she went back out to get more stuff.

"Alright, _princess_, like to shop? Well, uh, ya can't go by yourself anymore, you're going to have to **wait** for Harley!"

"Why," she demanded, now moving back up to her room.

"Because, uh, I _think_ that if this **continues** we are eventually going to have a real problem with all of this."

"How can this turn into a problem," she said, now walking out of the room.

"Ever heard the turn _shopaholic_ before? Well, uh, eventually, it starts to catch up with ya."

"How is it going to catch up to me," she asked grabbing the last of the bags and shutting the trunk, "you need to be able to keep the same cloths and continue for it to catch up with me. However, _lucky me_, I don't have that option. Every time I get knew cloths I'm being arrested by police, I only get to keep a few things that I can carry, they get ripped, torn, shot at, cut open, caught on fire, one of my coats was stolen by a fucking lion at a carnival, and anything else that hasn't quite happened to them yet. You are a danger to society, yourself, and my cloths."

She dropped the rest of it and turned to leave but the Joker put his arm on the door frame in front of her with an unamused look. "You go with Harley, or not at all," he said sternly. Artemis just rolled her eyes and looked irritated at him. The Joker grinned, he won!

………………………….

BACK TO THE PRESENT

Harley and Artemis had a calm shopping trip and actually offered to _pay _for the stuff. "It's okay," she said with a smile, "I have been working as a psychologist for a long time now. I never actually did anything before, I didn't have a reason."

"How old are you," asked Artemis as she looked at the different dresses on the racks.

"I'm only a year younger then Mistah J," she said, observing another rack for herself.

"Let's see, he was 18 when I was born, that was 16 years ago, 33," she guessed.

"Yup," she said giggling. Artemis guessed that she knew a lot about the Joker that Artemis didn't. Artemis didn't really know much about him at all but this girl seems to know it all. Maybe she could get in the Joker's head by getting into Harley's head. She figured it was worth a shot to find out.

"How come you never had a reason to go shopping before. You seem to do an aweful lot of it."

"Well," she said, "I just never had anyone to go with. You see I would go with my friends but none of them are to interested in the mall. They are all Walmart and Target and 'let's shop for what looked good on me 10 years ago'. You aren't. You are more interested in the places I am. The style is different but at least I don't have to step in a grocery store." Artemis chuckled a bit.

"Do you have any idea about the Joker's plan on kidnapping Batman?"

"Yup," she said, "we are going to the party in disguise as the staff and the Joker is going to slip something in his drink to make him sleep, then we are going to run away, fight batman, then come home and tie him up in the basement."

"Wow," she said, "that's…kinda…sure why not."

"What's wrong," she asked, "it's a great idea."

"Yea, except, what happens if batman doesn't show up," she said, "what then?"

"Then….we just go home?"

"Yes but what if by any off chance batman and Bruce are the same person?"

"That would be wild, wouldn't it," she said.

"And it was a trap," she asked, grinning to make it look as if it was all an imagination game.

"Oo, hmm, and the Joker was in a pair of dress shoes," she said.

"And Batman anticipated where he would escape," she said.

"Well, he said we were going to escape through the fire escape. I guess if batman knew the exit and he couldn't go very fast cause he is in dress shoes, it wouldn't be good for Mistah J."

"I'm sorry," said Artemis, "but that is the most intelligent conversation we ever had. Are you smart or something?" Harley didn't know how to take that. "No, it's a serious question, are you smart?"

"Well, yea," she said.

"Then why do you act like such an idiot?" Harley stopped and watched Artemis keep on walking. She then did the unspeakable! She threw her left shoe at the back of Artemis's feet and caused her to stumble on the ground. Artemis lifted herself up and gave Harleen a glare that could kill.

"I am not an idiot," she shouted.

"Bitch! Did you just throw a shoe at me," demanded Artemis. She walked up to Harley who stood their looking at her as if a mother would a child. "I'll kill you for less," she hissed pulling her knife out. Harley reached over and grabbed the knife out of Artemis's hand.

"Now, you just stop right now, miss," she snarled. The parents with teens in the store turned around to see what they assumed was a mother scolding her daughter with a knife in her hand holding it like she just found it on the girl.

"What," she said in disbelief. Whispers traveled among customers and employees.

"I am not stupid, I am not easy prey, and I will not take being talked to like that by you. If you want this back you will have to take it from me," she said. A few low 'ooo's echoed in the crowed. Artemis looked around a bit and licked her lips. She had an entire audience staring at her, daring her to do something about it.

Artemis relaxed and closed her eyes. She looked at Harley and pulled a gun out from in her coat. Harley stared her right in the eyes. Her eyes were now cold and excited. She looked ready to smash the hell out of something to let go of her anger instead of letting it build. Artemis was the exact opposite. She let it build and build and bottled it all up inside until there wasn't enough to keep bottled. She was pretty close to letting it all go.

If she got rid of Harley then her idea would be to fucked up. She couldn't get to the Joker without Harley. She needed to get what she could. What was she going to get? She had no idea, but it is good to have leverage for the right moment. You never know where there is a day when the bird decides to spread her wings and fly free and solo. At the rate she was learning she would not be trapped under dad's roof and rules much longer.

She put her gun down. Harley didn't look ready to back down. "I'm sorry Harleen," she said, "I lost control. All the stress building up and I'm not really all there in my head most of the time." Harley gave her a small smile. She went over and hugged Artemis. For the sake of the moment and for the crowed. She returned Harley's hug with a warm hug back.

The crowed 'aww'ed and a few people shedded tears at the beautiful scene. Harley gave Artemis her knife back and she put it and the gun away and they were going to make their exit when Artemis spotted it! Her face brightened and she grew excited and bubbly much like dear Harley. Harley followed her and saw it as well. She heard the chorus of angels and a tear fell down her cheek.

It was a royal purple spaghetti strap with a dark blue sash, a split up the skirt part, a matching blue see through jacket and a dramatic design etched in dark blue. The brilliance and absolute amazingness of this dress cannot possibly be described with words.

There was one in purple and blue, which Artemis was practically drooling on. As well as a red and black one without the slit and the jacket was leather, not see through. It wasn't really Harley's style but it was still a hot dress and she wanted it!

They both grabbed the dresses and paid for them. They drove home to get ready!

…………………………………….

Damian, Joker, and Joey all took turns looking at the clock. They had to go and neither Harley nor Artemis were ready. Joey, Damian, and the Joker where dressed as waiters. The girls were going to be the singers. How hard was it to look like a singer for a millionaires birthday party? Put on a dress how hard can that be?

Then the bathroom door opened and both of them walked out. All three of them gawked at the pair. "What's wrong Mistah J," asked Harley with a smile. The Joker was not quite sure what to say.

……………………………

Next time

Batman is kidnapped and all that jazz


	21. step 12: It's the thought that counts

Okay so I'm writing this sober and it sucks. I had an awesome thanks giving, at food, worked, got trashed, hope you guys had as much fun as I did! I know these chapters are a bit slow and not filled with quite as much but it will pick up I promise just got to get passed this Bruce Wayne being kidnapped shtick.

Anonymouse: great fucking name man.

Chapter 21

They finally arrived. Harley and Artemis went around back where the musicians were waiting. Two pretty red head singers were sitting together on the other side of the building. Harley walked over to one and smashed her large hammer into one of the girls head. The other began to scream and attempted to run away. Artemis caught up and slit her throat before she could say anything.

The two of them came around the corner and the musicians turned around to look at them. "Where are Mary and Sally," asked one.

"Well Mary has a headache and Sally's throat is sore," said Artemis with a smile, "we are taking over for them." Behind her Harley was trying not to giggle at the bad joke. The others just shrugged and lead them backstage.

Meanwhile, the Joker was setting his henchman and the boys up, Damian took over as a cook, and Joey served drinks. The Joker watched as the two girls took the stage and everyone clapped. It was almost time for the show to begin.

Bruce was nervous, very nervous, he had a room full of people. He was hoping that after last years fiasco not many would show up but they did. He was going to get kidnapped by the Joker and hopefully Artemis was dumb enough to fall for the letter and let him go. He did not realized just how smart she had grown sense two months ago. As far as Bruce was concerned she was just another nutcase looking for a good way to spoil society. She was not too happy about having the Joker hanging around at first, it was obvious, but he was not even sure if she still wanted a way out.

It didn't really matter, he would have her and her two friends locked up this time, he didn't need another killing spree and crime rate climb like last time. He didn't show how nervous he was. He played it cool.

"Bruce you are sweating," complained one girl, what was her name again? He never could remember these bimbo's names. He remembered Rachel's name, he remembered Harley's name, he remembered Selene's name, he remembered Artemis's name, but that was about the extent of his knowledge of women's names.

"It's nothing," he said with a high pitched voice, "just hot!"

"You sound scared," she nagged. He was half tempted to tell her to just take a hike. He just shook his head and looked back at the stage. There was Artemis and Harley, now where or where were the others? Joey came walked up to him. He narrowed his eyes at the boy, they never actually met face to face except once.

"Can I get you anything to drink, sir," said Joey. Was that sarcasm in his voice? A well, he was there to kidnap him, not cater to him.

"Sure," he mumbled.

"Anything to eat," he asked. Joey was smirking at him now. Wait, was he going to kill him? That wasn't part of the Joker's plan!

"Whatever," he said. Joey walked off. Bruce could fell his nerve begin to collapse even more.

……………………….

"Done," said Damian, holding up Bruce's food with the Joker's card hidden strategically in it.

"Jeez," said Joey, "it's suppose to look real but you didn't have to get all fancy with a cheese burger and some fries."

"Rich people like their food to look fancy," said Damian, "aren't they all, like, refined and shit?"

"You're not fit to be a rich man's cook," said Joey, shaking his head.

"Why the hell not," snapped Damian.

"Cause it's just not you," argued Joey.

"Ha! You'll see! I'll be the best damn cook Bruce Wayne ever had," said Damian in a dramatic way.

"Sure," said Joey walking away. He felt a sharp pain on the back of his head and spun around. "Did you just throw a spatula at my head?

"Who, me," he asked, "I didn't do anything, somebody's throwing stuff man, I don't know, you gonna give that cheese burger to Wayne or what?"

Joey rolled his eyes and walked out. He put the burger in front of Bruce and a glass of wine. Bruce observed the oxymoron display. "Um, the cook went a bit over the top for a cheese burger."

"I don't know man, he says he is going to be the best cook you ever had, I got other people to serve."

Joey turned to leave and Bruce took a bite into the burger. He felt a piece of cardboard and spat it back out. He opened the sandwich and found a Joker's card in it. The show was seconds from beginning. "What's that," asked Bruce's bimbo of the night.

"It's a card," he said throwing it to the side.

"Is that one of the Joker's card's," she asked jumping up. Bruce grabbed her by the wrist and forced her back down. He needed to come up with an excuse to make her stop drawing attention.

"Sit down," he whispered, "if he is here he will find us." Her eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. Bruce didn't know it was physically possible but apparently so. She looked around shaking as she, too, tried to play it cool.

Bruce heard a glass click and a man stood up. It was Lucius signaling that he had an announcement to make. Bruce wanted to choke him. That was almost always the cue time for the Joker. Now it was just a question of when he would appear.

"I have worked for the Wayne company for almost thirty years and Bruce is by far one of the most successful employers I have ever had the pleasure of working for. " BANG BANG BANG! The crowed ran around screaming as the Joker waltzed into the main room. A few clowns poured in behind him. Harley pulled her giant hammer out and Artemis pulled out a couple knives. Joey pulled out his shot gun and aimed it at Bruce's head. Artemis and Harley walked off stage.

"Hey," said one of the musicians, "you lied!"

Artemis turned around and shot him in the face with her own pistol. She put it back and turned her attention back to Bruce. His eyes shifted toward her and toward the Joker. The relation was uncanny. She was a much prettier version of the Joker. He looked back at her and she winked at him. The Joker took the microphone from Lucius.

"You know, I think you arrange these, uh, little parties just so _I_ can attend. I _do_ like crashing these, uh, masquerade's you put on. So, uh, Brucy, you turning 30 years old today. Well, _happy_ birthday, you now get to be one of the **grown**_**ups**_. So, as a gift from, uh, me to you. I'm taking you for a little field trip and the pathetic people of Gotham get to play a game with me." He put the ransom letter on the table and ordered Joey to escort him out to the van. Artemis and Harley kept their eyes on the rest of the room. If anyone moved they died.

The Joker made his way to the exit with the girls last. "Where's Damian," he asked, running down the stairs out the door.

"Who knows," said Joey, "said he was going to be the 'best cook Bruce Wayne ever had' whatever the fuck that's suppose to mean."

"Well get him and tell him it is time to **go**, NOW!" Joey quickly released Bruce and ran for the kitchen to fetch Damian.

Joker threw Bruce at Artemis and told them to hurry up. Bruce looked at the back of the Jokers head then over at Harley. She bounced up ahead to stand next to the Joker. He shoved her to the side roughly but she didn't seem to care much. Artemis just shook her head.

"Artemis," whispered Bruce, "where are we going?"

"Back to the hide out," she whispered back, "don't worry, we will get out of here, the Joker won't even realize we are gone."

"Are you sure?"

"Brucy, if I want to get somewhere, no one stops me from going. Not even the Joker." Bruce had a slight smile on his face. He felt a little bad that he was going to have her locked up as well but hopefully she would come out of Gotham normal.

Artemis smile to herself. Everything was going according to her favor. Ha! No wonder the Joker did it, this was exciting, she was having the time of her life fucking with the situation. Every move she made, ever decision she made, manipulated and changed the outcome in her power. The power of the mind alone almost terrified her but at the same time she was lured to play with every situation to see where it would lead her next. Now to let him go or let the Joker do his thing?

……………………………….

Next time: the question will be answered


	22. step 13: practice makes perfect

Alright a chapter update! Special thanks to Anonymous for a whole new idea.

Anonymous: I would like to first point out that I meant it sincerely when I said it was a great fucking name. What can I say; you are one lucky SOB to grab it. Anyway I like the idea of letting him go and keeping him to herself. In fact, I'm going to do none of the ideas that were brought up. You have inspired a different direction that will give the story a most awesome twist!

Chapter 22

Damian was in the kitchen working tiredlesly even after the panic attack in the other room. "Hey, man, we're out of here," said Joey, "and hurry it up cause something seems to be bugging the Joker."

"Joey,' said Damian putting his hand to his forehead, "I have to finished the French Onion soup. Not to mention the salmon is almost ready to be lemoned. I still need to mince the green peppers for the salad bar. Not to mention chopping more lettes. Sorry man, I don't have time, I will have to catch up."

"What are you talking about, man, the party's been crashed already. We have Bruce Wayne and the Joker wants the get the hell out of here."

"Joey (sigh) I don't expect you to understand my art so I will excuse your ignorance, but don't pull me from my work, how would you like it if I took your art from you?"

"Fine, stay here, I'm leaving before cops show up. I'm sure they are on there way."

"And when they arrive I will recommend the shrimp and tarter sauce with the lemon slice," he said. Joey grabbed Damian and drug him out of the kitchen.

"Cook at home," he snapped.

"But-but-but!"

…………………………….

After much fighting Joey finally got Damian in the car. "I wanna be a cook," he demanded.

"Be a cook at home and quit being a dick," snapped Joey after shutting the van doors. The Joker was not at all happy that they had waited that much time with his ransom in the van sitting where the police could clearly see them. Finally they were ready to get the hell out of there. As Damian drove them out of the drive way and down the street a whole bunch of squad cars came pulling into the driveway. Artemis gave a sigh of relief. One more minute and the fun would have been spoiled.

……………………

The Joker had Bruce tied up in the basement to the support beam. He didn't even give him the satisfaction of a chair. Damian ran to the kitchen with the giant pot of onion soup determined to finish it. "You're so weird man," said Joey watching him, "you actually took the soup with you?"

"Hell ya I did. Un unfinished dinner is an unhappy dinner." Joey just shook his head and walked away. He wasn't stable enough for this. The Joker came in the kitchen looking around the cabinets and stuff. The other two watched him curiously as he mumbled under his breath. Plotting all the **fun** things he would do to Gotham's Prince.

He pulled out a paper bag and walked into the livingroom to watch the news before heading for the basement.

"I am Tasha Bane here at Wayne Manor when Bruce Wayne was kidnapped by the Joker and left what looks to be a ransom letter. Authorities refuse to state what was in the letter. They will share as soon as they come up with a solution, this is Tasha Bane signing out." Joey and Damian watched him get up from the couch and back to the kitchen. He looked really irritated.

"What was did the note say," asked Joey. The Joker didn't even look in his direction. He grabbed his handy dandy video camera and headed for the basement. Artemis walked into the room only to be stopped by the Joker on his way out.

"Doll, you wouldn't mind, uh, coming with me would ya, hmm?" Artemis looked at him curiously but nodded and followed him into the dark recesses of the basement. Damian and Joey just looked at each other.

………………………

The Joker shoved the camera in Artemis's hands and instructed her to video tape until he said cut. Artemis nodded and turned on the camera.

………………..

"What are they talking about," whined Joey.

"Quiet man, it's hard to hear them," snapped Damian holding his ear to the shot glass against the basement door.

"Are you sure this even works?"

"Why not," he said, "it works in the movies."

"Why can't I listen?"

"Because you are deaf," he snapped.

"In one ear!"

"Shh!"

…………………

"Hello Gotham," said the Joker to the camera, "it seems that you are not taking this as _seriously_ as you should. I've decided to send the video myself. If you don't blow up the daycare I will blow your prince up! Now, I don't want to disappoint you so I've, uh, decided to put on a little _show_ for you." He spread his arms out dramatically at the word show and laughed insanely. Artemis resisted the urge to shiver. She nervously adjusted her hat but kept the camera still as best as she could.

The Joker walked over to Bruce Wayne and dragged his blade along Bruce's cheek. Bruce squinted his eyes at the pain. He then knocked Bruce in the eye and laughed out. "Now, uh, you have three days. For every day that passes I take a little more, uh, _blood_ from him. If you still don't then I will tie him up at the daycare and blow it up myself! **I'm a man of my word**. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

"And, cut," said the Joker. He had an evil grin on his face as he took the camera and walked passed Artemis. Artemis watched him go and smiled. She had it figured out. She would let Bruce go but tell the Joker that he had escaped. She walked over toward Bruce and pulled out her pocket knife. He eyed her carefully as she came closer.

"Don't worry," she whispered, "I'm getting you out of here." Bruce gave her a sympathetic look. He really appreciated the help but he was starting to feel bad about dragging her in. She was such a nice kid.

Artemis started cutting away at the rope that held Bruce's arms above his head. He looked down and saw a black pair of shoes coming toward her from behind. Before he could say anything there was a dull thump and she fell to the floor unconscious.

Bruce looked up at the wicked toothy grin that gave children nightmares.

……………………………………..

Gordon sat in his office half asleep. Now Bruce Wayne was missing and that meant Batman was not out to help protect the city. He was getting closer to a break down. Finally he silently stood up and threw everthing off his desk to the floor. He went over and started shredding up anything in his way.

He wanted to be at home. He wanted to spend time with his children. He wanted to spend time with his wife. He wanted to relax and sleep in for once. All of that was being taken away from him nightly. It was the stupid Joker's fault. It was his circus's fault. It was Batman's fault. It was the criminal's fault. It was these super villains taking up his time! He was tired of it.

He tore through the office until it looked like hell. Then he started in on his computer with his night stick of doom and started beating the monitor in. This was driving him crazy! While everyone there worked sleeplessly on the case the Joker was laughing at them. Always one step ahead! Why the fuck couldn't he just die!?

He felt hot tears flow down his face as he threw what was left out the window and he flipped his desk over. A few officers were outside watching from the door and the windows. They felt a mixture of pity, pain, and fear.

He tore his blinds down. Rachel was dead, Harvey Dent was dead, so many innocent people were dead, and now Bruce and a daycare of small children were in danger of being dead! He felt like a failure in life. Finally he fell to his knees and cried to himself in the mess. And boy was he in one.

"Sir, we found the Joker and Bruce Wayne!"

…………………………..

The Joker came upstairs from the basement with camera in hand and put it down. He then picked up a crowbar and started downstairs ignoring Damian and Joey who were pretending that they weren't listening in. Artemis was becoming a problem and he needed to fix that. Harley had been at her spot at the kitchen table watching the news not paying much attention to what was going on.

He quietly walked downstairs and snuck up behind her and banged her in the back of the head knocking her out. Bruce looked freaked out as he lifted her off the floor and put her on what looked to be a dentist chair. He strapped her down and plugged in his large variety of drills, and needles, and sharp shiny objects. He then put the guard in her mouth to keep it open and put the spot light over her.

He turned to get a new bulb for it all the while ignoring Bruce who was watching in horror. The Joker screwed it in and turned it on. Artemis's eyes blinked open a bit. She was greeted by a bright white light in her hands. She looked over and saw the Joker walk over toward Bruce and put his hands up in a different rope so he wouldn't have a chance at escaping. She then looked over and saw her worst fear. That damned drill.

The Joker turned around and smiled at her. "Hey doll," he said with concern, "now, uh, you remember what I said about being ahead of the curve? Well, you thought you were ahead but now it's catching up." Artemis looked at him confused. He laughed at her. "You, uh, plan on letting Brucy here go so batman can have me, hmm? Manipulating Harley into giving answers? You see, uh, when you _plan_ it doesn't always go according to how you want it to. You were just fine until you started planning it, sweetheart. You slept up, dear, and now you are going to pay. Maybe you could be a bit sneakier sometime." He started up the drill and Artemis's eyes grew wide.

She felt her breathing become rapid as the drill was only inches away from her. Then the indescribable pain hit her and she screamed out. Bruce was terrified. It was one thing to see this on tv it was completely different to see it in reality. She desperately trying to move her hands and feet but she was strapped down. The Joker put the drill down and picked up what looked to be a filer. More ear piercing screams as the Joker looked to be sawing at something.

Bruce had to get out and help her. She was struggling so much the leather straps were cutting into her skin. Blood was pouring from her ankles and wrists but she didn't seem to care. All she cared about was getting the hell out of that chair. He then started sawing at the other side of her mouth her body started to jerk now. The Joker just laughed wickedly and put the filer down. He then picked up a mouth pick. The Joker moved over a few inches and Bruce got a better look at what he was doing.

Artemis's face was tear stained and looked tired and her face was red from screaming so much. The Joker put the pick in one of the holes in her teeth and started picking at it. Artemis screamed more but her voice was becoming weak. Bruce looked around and saw Artemis's knife sitting next to him.

He picked it up and lifted it up to his hands with his feet. He then started to saw at the rope as quickly and quietly as he could. When he finally broke the rope the Joker put the pick down and took the leather straps off of her. Bruce ran at him and jumped on his back and started stabbing him in the collar. The Joker laughed hysterically and started banging Bruce into the wall over and over again. Artemis just laid their watching curiously. The Joker flipped him off of his back and started digging his heal in Bruce's sides.

Artemis slowly rose from her spot and walked over toward the Joker with the drill in her hand. Just then Joey and Damian came busting in with Harley behind them. "Cops," squealed Harley. The Joker turned around and saw Artemis standing behind him with the drill in the air ready to drill a hole in the back of his head. He took the drill and back handed her across the mouth. Artemis spat out a mouth full of blood on the ground she landed on. She felt an iron grip grab hold of her hair and force her to stand up. He lead her out and upstairs. "Joey, get Brucy, Damian, get the van running, Harley come with us."

Artemis was helplessly at his mercy. It didn't look like she was going to get much of that from him. He shoved her in the van and jumped in over her. "Uh, doll, you're _grounded_," he said with a wicked smile. Artemis looked at him with such hatred it was a shock he didn't drop dead right there. Harley jumped in behind him and Damian in the driver's seat with Joey behind leading Bruce in.

Damian swerved out and away from the police trying desparately to get away from them. They couldn't have Bruce, not yet, but how did they find them? The Joker turned to Artemis and grabbed her arm and pulled her toward him. "You, uh, didn't call the _cops_ now did you?"

"Why the hell would I do that," she asked shakily.

"Why the hell would you let Brucy go," he snarled. She looked him in the eyes for a moment then answered.

"Because I'm board." The Joker was going to say something when someone shot at the van. What? They never shot at them! The Joker shoved her over and told her to stay put. He then pushed the back door to the van open and pulled out his shot gun and started shooting back. Artemis was too scared to move.

Joey felt really guilty. He heard Artemis's screams and cries for help and didn't know what to do. He didn't expect the Joker would blame her for it. He had to call the cops, it was the only way to make this whole thing blow over, get his mind off the fact that his daughter was plotting against her. Now he only prayed that the police chase would cause him to forget everything else.

Damian tried to concentrate on not getting them killed when a large semi came out from behind and rammed them. Dammit! Citizens arrest if ever there was such a thing! Damian felt the van swurve a bit but got control again and sped up passed the semi. He needed to get them to safety and loose the cops. He swerved around traffic trying to lose them. He didn't know how they found out but this was not what he wanted to do with his evening. Everything was going gravy until he heard the Joker fall to the floor. He looked behind him and saw that the Joker was shot in the arm.

Artemis jumped up to take his place but the Joker shoved her again. "**!"** His voice went from high and nasally to low, scary, and very clear. Artemis was now to scared to so much as breath. She picked up his shot gun anyway and, staying right where she was, started shooting at the police. The Joker was busy being doctored by Harley in the back of the van to bother with the police at the moment. Artemis cocked the gun and shot it twice, reloaded, and cocked and shot again. Harley finished patching him up and he grabbed his shot gun and sat up. He started shooting at the police again.

Artemis watched her father in wonder. He sure as hell was dedicated to his job. He shot like an expert. Got them on the first try. She never actually grasped just who it was she was dealing with until that moment. He was not just some mad dog chasing cars. He was a genius, he was dangerous, and even though he didn't plan he still knew just want it was he was dealing with. He was right. She underestimated him and failed to get to know the game before she started playing it. A lesson she would not forget.

Bruce sat on the ground next to Artemis hoping that Damian didn't get them killed. Who the hell gave this guy a license to drive?

……………………

Finally after an hour they managed to lose the police. The Joker closed the back doors and spun around and sat back down against the doors. He looked over at Artemis. He could see the wheels turning in her head. Kids these days growing up to fast. He then looked over at Bruce and smiled.

"Why is it that the bat hasn't come after," he asked, "he, uh, not a fan of yours?" Bruce just looked at him with his knees up to his chest. He needed to get out of here before things got even more out of hand.

……………………

Alright! Hope that was filled with lots of action. Sorry it isn't very long but I sort of typed as I went. Next time Bruce gets away and we have a special new player! WooHoo!


	23. FINAL STEP: Let a bird spread her wings

Woohoo back with another chapter! So this one is full of secret agent man stuff! I promise!

13onnie: I'm glad you liked it. Sorry my take on the joker is bad but you gotta remember this is my first. But I do try.

Well…yea

Chapter 23

Soon as they reached a new hiding spot the Joker, once again, had a hold of Artemis's hair and drug her inside. Harley and Joey had Bruce and Joey opened doors and such…you know, pretending to be useful. The Joker drug her up a stair case as she desperately tried to keep up. He threw her in a room and shit hit the wall. The Joker slammed the door shut and she heard the door lock.

Unbelievable. He put a lock…on the outside of the door…

The Joker smiled to himself. He had prepared for this day just in case. That crazy girl wasn't going anywhere!

…………………….

Damian tied Bruce up and threw him in a bathroom. The Joker could do whatever with him. He looked to be in a foul enough mood to snap at any second. The man was extremely bipolar. The Joker came down with a key in his hand. He walked into the living room where Joey and Damian where watching the news report Tasha was covering that happened just an hour and a half ago. Damn, was she ever on top of everything they did.

He picked up his keys and stuck the new one on. "Where's Brucy at," he asked.

"In the bathroom tied up," said Damian. The Joker stalked off to the bathroom and slowly opened the door.

"Hey, uh, sorry about all of that," he said with fake concern, "haha she's a little rebel without a cause." He licked his lips and grinned at Bruce, "I do hope for no more, uh, **interruptions**, hmm?" Bruce just stared at him. "Say, most peculiar thing, bat for brains hasn't shown up yet tonight. It's been a whole day and I haven't heard from him in days. It's really breaking my heart." He laughed sadistically and walked out. Bruce almost wanted to panic. The Joker knew who he was! But how? Did Artemis tell him? He felt the angry in him grow. She was just toying with him. Well there goes that plan.

…………………….

Gordon cursed as he finally got into his car to go home for the afternoon and maybe get some sleep in. They almost had them. If only they could somehow outsmart that driver. He drove like a madman! Well, better luck tonight hopefully. Maybe Joey would anonymously call again and tell them where they were now.

………………….

Harley joined the boys on the couch to watch TV. She wasn't sure how to take everything in that had happened in just an hour and a half. "Say," she said, "is this normal?"  
"Is what normal," asked Damian.

"Artemis and Mistah J fightin?"

"Naw," said Joey, "they do get along sometimes. I'm not sure what she did to put Joker off the deep end but her mouth looked like hell."

"It looked like hell to begin with," laughed Damian.

"Yes, I know, but it looks worse now," said Joey, "he really fucked her up."

"Well, at the rate she is going, she may not have teeth by the end of the year. It's already December."

"She'll be alright, won't she," asked Harley, "I feel kind of bad tellin Mistah J about all the questions she was askin me."

"Questions," asked Damian and Joey, their attention no longer on the TV but on her.

"Yea, she asked me personal questions. How old I was, why I didn't like shopping much before, asked me questions like what would have happened if batman didn't' show up. Asked me how old I was and how old Mistah J was, what if Bruce Wayne was batman. I thought we were playing a game. Mistah J didn't think so."

"No," said Joey, "sounds like she was getting information out of you."

"For what," she asked. Damian and Joey looked at each other. Harley felt a little out of the loop. She huffed and got up. They were no fun! She had to find Mistah J or where Mistah J put Artemis.

She opened the door and made her way up the stair case to look for them. She saw a door that looked to have a lock on the outside….ooo…. She pulled a wire hanger out of the closet across the hall and proceeded to pick the lock. When she heard the click she opened the door and saw Artemis sitting on the floor letting the blood dribble out of her mouth and seemed to be far off somewhere else.

Harley walked forward and smiled. She returned the smile to Harley. Her teeth where red with new holes and a few of them looked sharper then before. Artemis stood up and walked toward her. Harley got a bad feeling as she slowly backed up. Something about her smile now was more terrifying then before. The Joker was creating a monster.

"Where ya goin', Har_ley_," she asked, swaying her head and body left to right in a play full manner as she kept walking forward. Harley gave her a nervous little giggle and started walking backwards.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," she said, "puddin' looked a little angry when I told him."

"So," she said, "you're the little **pest** going around telling the Joker about all the, uh, questions I was asking." Her face suddenly turned to one of hurt and she stopped. "Now, Harley, I asked you that out of confidence."

"I didn't know he would get angry," she said in her defense, "he asked how the shopping trip went and I told him."

"You couldn't leave out the part where we were just getting closer, Harley? And here I was starting to think of you as a better mother then my own." That was it. Harley felt tears well up inside her and she lunged forward and gave Artemis a big hug. Artemis was slightly shorter then her and felt herself being suffocated in the love of Harley's bosom. God help this woman.

"I-I-I'm s-so s-s-s-s-sorrrrryyyy," she wailed. Artemis's eyes grew wide. Making noise like that, the Joker was going to hear. She patted her on the back and told her everything was going to be alright. Harley smiled and rubbed her nose with her sleeve. "Really,' she said with a smile. Artemis resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She had to make this look legit.

"Listen, Harley, I need you to leave and lock the door again," she said. Harley nodded and bounced out locking the door, after scratching it by accident once or twice with the wire hanger, and putting it back in the closet. She closed the door and started down the hall back to the living room.

"Harley," came the Joker from behind her. Harley turned around and smiled. "What are you doing up here," he asked.

"Just taking a look around," Harley said with a smile. She skipped back down the stairs with the Joker close on her heels. He had a sneaky suspicion she wasn't just looking around and Artemis just might have something to do with it. He took a quick look back at the door and noticed a scratch or two on the lock that were not there before. He would have to keep a look out on Harley for a bit. God knows what Artemis manipulated out of her this time.

…………………………………………..

Artemis looked around the room she was locked in. There was a bed and a window and a desk and a chair. That was it. She was locked up in prison. She walked to the window and saw there was only a screen. She then walked over to the closet and searched it high and low for a small doorway, an air vent, or at least a way for her to escape out the window. She found nothing.

Walking back to the window she saw the sun starting to go down. She looked down and saw the Joker, Harley, Damian, Joey, and a few henchmen gathering outside. She saw a black van drive up.

…………………………………..

The Joker waited patiently as the door opened and Scarecrow climbed out. The Joker laughed. "I guess, uh, you found yourself a way out."

"It's surprisingly easy to get out of Arkham," he said, "I did work there for several years and I know that place like the back of my hand. Who's the woman and where is the girl?"

"This is Harley," he said, "as for Artemis, she's locked up."

"Ah, Batman get her?"

"No, I did." Scarecrow nodded and looked Harley carefully in the face. She looked really familiar. He could swear he knew her.

"Dr. Quinnzel," he asked. Harley just nodded. "Well, I can't say I saw this coming, you do look quite fetching as a Harlequin." Harley smiled proudly. She was a beauty and she knew it. "It's almost nightfall."

"Where we goin," asked Joey.

"We're breaking out the rest of the team," said the Joke with a smile.

"What about Artemis," asked Damian.

"If she wants teeth when I come back she will still be in that room," he growled.

………………………………….

Artemis watched them all leave. Now was as good a time as any to get the hell out of here. She had her own agenda to think about. She opened the window and popped the screen out. She held close to the wall and stealthily snuck around the roof to a different window.

She pulled out the screen and walked into the room. She opened the door and ran downstairs to look for him. She ran into the basement, nothing, she ran into many different rooms, nothing, finally she walked back downstairs and started calling out his name. She heard someone knocking on a door. She turned around and opened it. It was a bathroom with Bruce on the floor in front of the door.

She pulled out a pocket knife and started to cut away at his ropes. "Bruce, if I let you out of here I need to disappear. Tell me where I can find that place in China you told me about. With the league of shadows." Bruce looked at her hesitantly. He really shouldn't tell.

"Why," he asked.

"If I let you go the Joker is going to know it was me."

"What happened to your teeth," he asked, now noticing.

"Joker found out I have been playing my own games against him when I fucked it up." Bruce shouldn't tell her where the league of shadows was but she was safer there then she was in the city. He stood up when she got the rope off of him and she led them down the hall. He gave her detailed instructions on how to get there, who to talk to, what to do, everything he could possibly remember. She listened intently as she started up the car and drove out of the driveway.

Artemis didn't have a license to drive. Damian was the only one who bothered with Drivers Ed so he had a license. Joey didn't want to deal with the drug test and Artemis didn't even have a car to bother with. She bounced excitedly up and down.

"What are you so happy about," he asked.

"Well, this is my first time driving," she said, narrowly missing a car as she pulled into the street and pushed down on the gas pedal. She immediately pushed down on the break and Bruce freaked out.

"NO! We are in the middle of a busy street ! Go, go, go, go! Hurry before we get hit!" Artemis pushed down on the gas again and shot into another car. Bruce felt his heart skip a beat. Artemis didn't stop she kept on going. It was the most terrifying drive of his life. "Stop! It's a stop sign! Watch the light! Use your blinker! DAMMIT STOP THE LIGHT IS RED!" Artemis finally stopped and looked at him in frustration.

"Look," she said, "how can I learn if you keep freaking out on me!?" Bruce tried desperately to stay calm. It was really scary, she had no idea what she was doing, and she was speeding. Finally Artemis made it to Wayne manor after only six crashes, three police chases, and a little old lady having a heart attack from almost getting hit. He climbed out of the car and started kissing the ground.

"Dear sweet god! Land!"

"It wasn't that bad," she said walking off, "how am I going to get to China without anyone finding out where I am?"

"Alfred will fly you," he said hugging his drive way still. Artemis shook her head and went to find Alfred. It was almost 10 pm. The Joker would most likely be arriving back home any minute now. Bruce called up Alfred. "Yes, Alfred, could you give Artemis a lift to China, just take her to Hong Kong, she can find her way from there….Yes….I'm outside worshipping the ground…yes…don't ask…see you when you get back."

After Artemis was loaded up and ready to go, Bruce told her thank you and goodbye. "Master Bruce," said Alfred, "what happens if she comes back?"

"Then let's hope she is on our side," he said, "when she gets back she will be twice the danger she was before. If she is on the Joker's side we are in some trouble."

…………………………….

The Joker licked the scars from the inside of his mouth. She was a clever girl. He observed the screens popped out. He should have put bars on her damned windows! He went down to the kitchen and started putting bombs together as everyone watched him in curiosity.

"Well," asked Scarecrow.

"Artemis has decided that the daycare was going to be blown up tomorrow. So why stop at one?"

He took his bombs and shot out the door ordering Damian and Harley to come with. Joey was busy freaking out and pacing. He kept looking at the clock as if he expected her to come back. Poor Joey did not realize that by this time Artemis was already in Europe waiting for the helicopter to finish refueling. He prayed that the Joker did not find her and that she kept well enough away for a few months or so.

Damian drove them to every daycare in Gotham City. How many bombs did the Joker already have made? Well, he was a very thorough guy. He probably predicted this a while back ago. He only made a few more. By the time the sun was coming up they finally planted the last bomb and Damian drove them back home.

Joey was passed out on the couch with phone in hand. The Joker saw he had a message from Artemis that had just come in. He carefully took the phone and read the message.

_Hey just wanted 2 say im not comin back so tell every1 else to not wait up on me_

_Peace!_

The Joker licked his limps and threw the phone on the table. He pulled out his video tape and told Harley to film. He sat on a fun swivel chair and signaled for her to begin. "Hellooo Gotham. It seems that after I sent my last message, one of you helped Brucy boy _escape_. So, for that I'm going to blow up every daycare in the city in 3..2..1..AHAHAHAHAH! A message for _Batman's_ stand in." Harley cut the tape and bounced over to the Joker and worshipped him for his amazingly cruel ways. "Harley," he said, "make sure that tape is played at exactly 9am." Harley's face lit up and she took the boys and a few henchmen with her. The Joker went down stairs to take all the buttons and make them one. It would be such a pain trying to press all those buttons at once. Can't give the kiddy's a chance to run!

………………………………………

Artemis was dropped off outside of Hong Kong and she pulled out her instructions. First she had to find a flower on the mountain side. Well, this shouldn't be too hard. She bought a horse with the money Bruce lent her and started down her path.

_FLASHBACK_

"_If you are going to the league of shadows you have to behave yourself while you are there. Don't steal, kill, cheat, don't speak unless spoken to, if you think you are about to do something wrong don't do it. Keep walking away or you could find yourself looking down at the ground."_

"_What happens then," she asked._

"_I mean they will chop your head off."_

"_For cheating or speaking at a wrong time?"_

"_Well, no, but you get the idea, respect is a big thing in Asia. Just behave and you will be okay until you are ready to come home."_

"_Okay, thanks."_

"_No, thank you. I was going to lock you up with the Joker but this seems like a better alternative."_

"_How so," she asked._

"_I'm putting my faith in that you will eventually learn respect and change your ways and how to live in peace. I think that this is a good way to save you but you have to want to be saved."_

"_Bruce, one thing I don't want is the Joker controlling me. I want to be free and I want help. If I didn't I would not have saved you," she said. Bruce smiled and walked her to the plane._

"_I hope you don't take it personal that I don't really believe everything you are telling me," he said. Artemis chuckled a bit._

"_I didn't ask you to, but for the record, when I come back I will be a different person."_

"_I sure hope so," he said._

_FLASHBACK END_

She smiled at the memory. Oh, she would come back different alright. She would no longer be one of the Joker's toys. But Batman wasn't going to control her either. Artemis learned that the best way to lie is to be honest. You tell them the truth just not the whole truth. The more you are honest the more people trust you.

The Joker taught her a lot. She was grateful but she was also a prisoner. That had to stop before it got worse. She would stick around long enough to learn then leave. She didn't want to be a prisoner to some ninjas but she did need to better her work. She loved her job! It was daybreak now and figured she should send Joey or Damian a message while she could. She sent one to Joey figuring that Damian would probably be one of the first to here. She thought about telling him where she was but something told her that was a bad idea.

Thus she began a long journey. Eventually she had to lose the horse and it was a good thing someone told her it was going to snow. After retrieving her flower she walked up to the location she was told and saw a large temple like building. She walked in and saw an elderly man sitting in the middle of what looked to be a room for religious use. She set the flower on the stone table and bowed slightly not making eye contact just like the instructions said.

The man said something in Chinese she could not understand. An American man stood next to him dressed in ninja cloths. He had dark brown hair, green eyes, and seemed to be in his early 30's.

"I'm Malachi," he said, "I am the master's translator. He said "what request does such a pretty young girl ask?"

"I wish to learn," she said. The old man motioned for her to rise. She did so and spoke again.

"Master says, 'what is it you would like to learn?'"

"I wish to learn whatever you are willing to teach me," she responded. The old man chuckled a bit and spoke again."

"'How can I teach you if you do not know the question?'"

"How can I ask the question if I do not yet know of the subject," she responded.

"'You are here to join us? You have given me a blue flower so that must be your request.'"

"You have not told me to leave so this must be a yes," she said. The old man laughed and spoke again.

"'You have a quick tongue and your reasoning is fair enough. If the world followed such wisdom it would be a place of peace. But you have much arogence. This is an enemy you must overcome if you are to succeed.' I will show you your room and you start at sunrise tomorrow." Artemis smiled and thanked him. The old man signaled for her to go and she turned to leave. _Beat THAT Bruce Wayne_.

……………………………..

Harley busted into the recording room and put her large sledge hammer in the boss's face. "You," she said, "I want this tape played at 9 am exactly," she ordered.

"Why," he asked, putting his hands up.

"It's a message from the Joker," she said, "and no body call the police or the boss is going to have a hammer crashed in his head." People nervously started to work on the segment. They were closely watched by the Henchmen as Damian and Joey started to set up the video tape. They all remained and until the end of the tape. The boss started looking around at everyone.

"Um, excuse me miss, but do you mind if I call Tasha Bane," asked a brave secretary. Harley thought about this for a moment. She didn't want to screw this up. "When I leave, do whatever you want," she said, "lets go boys." She turned around and left. Everyone watched the go and waited till they drove off. The office started going crazy and everyone rushed about. They answered phone calls, they called up reporters, they readied the camera's and the anchor men and women, they downloaded last weeks weather report. Everything that needed to be done was getting done quicker than usual.

……………………………………….

A week had passed. The Joker was harassing the people of Gotham making life a living hell. He had a new target to focus on.

Bruce Wayne may have gotten away but that didn't mean he was going to let go that easily. He froze his bank accounts, he had the new Wayne manor raided, he set fire to one of his buildings, he set fire to his shipment boats, he blew up one of his banks where he had an account, he killed his employees in horrific ways and had them played on the news, he left a dead body of a man with a big smile carved in his face wearing one of his suits hanging by his neck on a rope on a tree right outside his bedroom window.

He left cards all over his house. He pinned cards to his cloths, he put a chair under Alfred's door, actually that was Joey, and he harassed Bruce's girlfriends.

Bruce was seeing a girl he actually liked named Dr. Chase Meridian (remember her?) and tonight he was going to take her to the circus. He knew the Joker was making life miserable for him because the Joker knew he was batman. But at the same time he was sure the Joker didn't want to kill him. He even said so himself a year ago.

_FLASHBACK_

"_Why do you want to kill me," asked Batman. The Joker laugh hysterically._

"_I don't want to _kill_ you. Oh no, you complete me."_

_A LITTLE LATER_

"_This is what happens when an inevitable force meets an unmovable object. You and I are going to be doing this for a _long_ time. AHAHAHAHAH"_

_PRESENT_

For one night he didn't want to think about it. The Joker haunted him wherever he went. He told the few who knew he was batman why the Joker was doing all of this and those who didn't know where left in the dark as to why, out of nowhere, everyone knew the reason why.

Artemis had worked tirelessly with the old man keeping a close eye on her. He explained that women where not a loud to learn what they were teaching her. It was forbidden but at the same time, the old man who replaced Ra's Al Ghul after the whole batman incident, saw her as a perfect selection. Most places where she would be sent would not think her a spy of any kind.

After a week of observing her he found that their style was not quite bringing out her potential. "So what do we do about it," asked Malachi (pretend they are speaking Chinese)

"I think she needs more of a lady's touch," said the old man, "we will bring in a dancer of some sort. We will create a whole new style for her."

"Well, what would you recommend, certainly not a belly dancer. That would do us no good."

"No," he said, "a geisha, we will have one brought from Japan."

"Are there any traditional geisha's left," he asked.

"Of course," he said, "we will look for one in a small village."

"I will bring one back for you," he said. The old man chuckled.

"You are certainly willing. Go and bring me a traditional geisha." He smiled after Malachi left. She was going to be an exceptional spy when he was done with her.

………………………………………

Bruce Wayne walked Chase to his box seat. Everyone who was anyone was at the circus that night so of course the media was flocking there like a pack of vultures.

Everyone oood and awed and laughed and where very much enjoying the show when a clown walked up that made everyone feel a bit on edge. As a matter of fact a few clowns came on all wearing masks and carrying guns. The more intimidating of the clowns walked to the center of the ring with microphone in hand.

"Welcome to the show you have all been waiting for," he taunted, "our first act of the evening is Harley Quinn and the Explosive Acrobats!" He and his clowns started clapping as Harley came on with a big black bomb in hand. The cartoon ones that are round with the wick curled out. She lifted a lighter and set it to the wick and pretended to accidentally trip and throw it into the Acrobat stand. It blew the side to pieces causing three of them to fall to their deaths. "Now, uh, if Bruce Wayne wouldn't mind _telling_ me where oh where my daughter has run off to, I'm going to blow the next mast." He laughed wickedly as people began to stand up and panic.

Bruce fought passed the crowed and changed quickly into batman without anyone even noticing. He climbed up to the top as the Joker began making tick tock noises while everyone desperately tried to get out.

He climbed up to the top mast and grabbed the young man about 17 and pull him off before anything else blew up. He looked to be in shock. Then, right on time, Gotham Police showed up. There was a lot of shooting, and people getting into fights and such but the Joker was slipping away. He quickly let go of the boy and ran after the Joker.

After a wild chase downtown began but before Batman could get to close a semi attempted to run him over. Thank god for the eject button or he probably would have been run over. He quickly followed the van but it turned off into a large maze of warehouses and he lost them.

The next morning Bruce offered the young man a place to stay. His name was Dick Grayson and he had proved over the week to be a handful. He even managed to break into the temporary batcave after following him and Alfred on motorcycle. Needless to say that weather Bruce wanted one or not, he had a partner now.

Bruce was not ready to drag Dick into this though, he was going to try and talk him out of it one more time.

"Look, Dick," he said at the kitchen table, "I know last night you were upset but if you are going to be my partner you can't run around like a damned monkey. It's dangerous and I don't want you to get hurt or killed."

"Say what you want _Bruce_ but you got a partner now. Wherever batman goes I'm going to be right there!"

"I won't let you," he said sternly now standing up. Dick got up from his chair and picked up his cereal bowl.

"Try," he said. He put his bowl up. Bruce was losing his patience. The first week he was there and he already found out Bruce was Batman.

"This is not a game," he argued.

"No, it's not! In fact, you and him are both the reason my parents are dead! If you would have just told the Joker where this kid of his-"

"Then he would have still killed you and all of those people," interrupted Bruce, "there was nothing I could do about that. Besides, this girl isn't just some kid, I don't expect you to understand but he cannot find out where she is."

"Why? What does he want with her? No offence but I don't think the Joker is really the family man type."

"It's got nothing to do with family, she is a weapon to him, she almost has the same IQ level as he does and has the same twisted sense of humor. If we can keep her on our side we are okay."

"Sounds kind of risky doesn't it?"

"It's very risky but I don't think she wants to side with the Joker. If they are apart I will stand a better chance than if they are together. But if she is on my side then GPD and I have a better chance."

"Look, Bruce, let me help you catch this guy! He killed my parents. I don't expect you to understand but-"

"My parents were killed to,' he interrupted. Dick was at a loss for words. Bruce just walked away leaving him dumbfounded in the kitchen. It gave him all the more reason to be his partner. Bruce understood how he was feeling yet he still wouldn't let him help. It didn't matter, he would break him eventually.

…………………………………

Okay next time:

Bruce goes after the Joker and Dick follows!

Artemis will scower the temple and the village to find ketchup with her fries!

Ivy will go AWAL on Catwoman with Harley as the referee!

Some of this and maybe more next time!


	24. Nobody likes a rat

Okay sorry the last few chapters have been a fast forward I was just to excited about this chapter! So here is an update don't give up on me just yet I'm trying.

Chapter 24

Bruce woke up to the sound of his phone saying he had a message. He had several messages. Most of them from the Joker.

_Hi batsy!_

_Who's ur new birdy, batbrains?_

_Was last night totally necessary? It was just one little mayor and his kid._

_You might want to go out and buy more juice I just finished it off. Btw why is it that every time I sneak over here you never have anything to eat? Don't you ever stop to eat? You eat so much fast food it's a wonder ur not fat._

Hold on, that one was sent just half an hour ago! Bruce put his face in his hands. The Joker had known who he was for almost a year now and now he was getting into his refrigerator. This was so wrong. It would probably explain what happened to his muffins though.

_Joker! Did you eat my damn muffins!_

He sent the message and crawled out of bed. He got dressed and heard another message. Probably the Joker. Then it was followed by a second just a moment after. He looked over at his phone and picked it up. Of course the Joker messaged him back but so did…..Artemis? Wow, was she ready to come home already? She couldn't come back, the Joker was still bugging him about where she was. Just last night he kidnapped the Mayor and his son and held them hostage in a convenience store threatening to blow them to high hell.

_Brucy, I only ate _A_ muffin! U probably ate the rest you disgrace to fatty faces all around the world! Don't blame _me_ because you can't control yourself! Or it was Joey…._

Bruce rolled his eyes and read Artemis's message.

_Hey, bring me home and expect a flight for three_. He lifted an eyebrow. Who was the other two she was bringing? He walked out and down to the kitchen. Joey and Damian where both sitting at his table eating his Cheerios! He shook his head, these kids had some audacity. He hated teenagers, there were times when he wished he could ship Dick away on a plane to some place far far away from him.

Speaking of Dick, where was he at? As if reading Bruce's mind, Damian answered. "You're friend jumped on his bike and said he would be back. He was giving us some really funny looks, what did you tell him?"

"Told him you guys were bums who ate me out of house and home," snapped Bruce. Alfred walked in and smiled at Bruce. "Didn't know we would be expecting breakfast guests."

"Neither did I, master Bruce, they were not here when I was." Bruce just nodded and made himself some Cheerios and sat down.

"Oh, you just missed the Joker, he said for me to tell you that he really did eat your muffins and that you are still a fatty cake," said Joey.

"He actually said that?"

"Not in those words exactly." Bruce felt a headache come on.

"You two need to leave," he snapped.

"Why," they asked, still eating his food.

"Because I need to leave for work, I need to find out what sort of trouble Dick is getting into, and I have a few guests coming over, so leave."

"Who," they asked.

"Don't worry about it," he said, a little bit pushier this time. He really didn't want these people in his house, certainly not when Artemis gets back.

"What,' they asked.

"Are you just asking questions now to annoy me?"

"Why?" Bruce sighed and pulled out his phone and started dialing 911. The two shot up from their seats and left out the door. Joey turned back and poked his head in the door.

"Hey, man, can you get fruit loops next time? I like cheerios but that is all I have had for a week strait."

"A WEEK!" Joey turned around and left again. Bruce turned back to Alfred.

"Artemis is ready to come home," he said depressed.

"Already," he asked. Bruce just nodded and asked for a Tylenol. Alfted left to go get him one.

"Oh, and she has two other people coming back with her." Alfred just nodded and left to go and get her. Bruce was lost in his thoughts. Maybe fruit loops would be a nice change.

……………………………………….

Artemis and Malachi exchanged looks and she looked down at the baby in her arms. She smiled as she stepped on the helicopter with Malachi behind her. She held the baby boy tight in her arms and drifted off during the flight. When they finally arrived Bruce was waiting for them. She stepped off and greeted him with a smile.

"Good to see you are doing better," said Bruce with a smile.

"Thank you," she said, "this is Michael, and it's not Artemis anymore its Amy."

"Amy," he questioned. She nodded. "You are coming home but you are hiding from the Joker," he concluded. Artemis shook her head.

"I am hiding, yes, but I'm not staying in Gotham. Michael and I are going back to my hometown to raise our son, Devon." Bruce smiled at the baby and touched him with his fingertips. The baby grasped his finger. His smile grew.

"He's cute," said Bruce. Artemis chuckled a bit. It wasn't crazy or satanic sounding like it was a year ago. It was calm and normal. Well, almost normal, Artemis couldn't really be normal.

"Just one more thing I ask," she said.

"Certainly," responded Bruce.

"I need a bus ticket out of here. We would do it ourselves but we don't have the money."

"It's okay," he responded, "if you really intend on a normal life then I will happily buy you a few tickets out of here."

"Just remember not to tell anyone. Knowing the Joker he has been harassing you this whole time."

"It's not that bad," lied Bruce. He felt the smile a little more painful now. It was that bad. When the Joker got tired of just stalking him and leaving cards everywhere he would find some new and interesting ways to torment him. Call his secretary to arrange a lunch pretending to be a big business partner, then making him sit there for almost half an hour and not show up, he just had a car sitting on the serving plate. That was the most annoying but it was nothing compared to the dog incident. He would never go near a pit bull named Savage again.

Bruce led them inside and they sat around the table in the kitchen. "How many breakfast's did you have," asked Artemis looking at all the bowls.

'Just one," he said, "I have a couple uninvited guests. They are gone now though."

"Do you get those often," asked Michael. Bruce looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. He was so quiet Bruce didn't notice him really.

"Who are you again," he asked.

"I'm Michael, I met Amy in China and we wrote to each other and I would come out once a month to visit her and now we are married with a baby," he said, swinging Artemis's hand back and forth as he spoke. Artemis just smiled warmly at him. He sounded British and had short brown hair and fair skin. He wore a simple white tee and a pair of dark blue jeans.

"So, you are from the United Kingdome," asked Bruce.

"Yup," he said nodding, "all the way from York."

"What's it like there?"

"Green and a bit rainy," he responded. Bruce chuckled a bit. They caught up on the last year and finally it was time for Amy and Michael to go.

"You be sure to text me," said Artemis.

"Sure….Amy….You know, that name suits you, not as well as Artemis, but it's still good on you."

"How could I ever repay you for everything you did for me," she asked.

"Just stay out of trouble," he said with a smile. Artemis turned to leave. She was in a pink spaghetti strap, light blue pants, and black and white converse. She was a totally different person. Bruce smiled, he had saved her after all. She no longer spoke like the Joker or moved like him. She had a bit more grace to her step and looked more self confident. Her eyes were still dark though, she was probably still haunted by the past, hopefully she would get help for that.

…………………………….

Artemis and Malachi walked down the driveway and caught a taxi. They took the next bus out of town and waited patiently not speaking in the very back. "Now," whispered Malachi back to his American accent.

"No," she said, "just wait. We need to have patience." The bus almost drove out of town when Artemis gave him the okay. She put on her purple pea coat, her purple cowboy hat with the black cross, and pulled out her knife.

Malachi took out his pistol and a clown mask. He winked at her and she gave him a crazed smile. He walked up to the front and shot at the roof of the bus. There was immediate panic. The bus driver started to swerve to pull over but the clown masked man put his gun to the driver.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, "he said. Everyone started to calm down and sit tight to listen to the clown. "Now," he said, "we are going to play a game where we copy a movie clip. Let's see if you can guess. There is a bomb implanted on this bus and if we go under 55 mph we will explode until we return to Gotham Bus Station. Now, good bus driver, what's your name?"

"D-D-Dan," he stuttered.

"Dan the Man, alright I need you to turn this pile of junk around and head back for Gotham. Got it?" Dan nodded. He pulled his E-break and drifted the bus around and started heading back to Gotham in hopes that nothing went wrong or they would be blown up to nothingness. "Anyway, oh right, the game. So can anyone guess what movie this is from?"

A little girl enthusiastically raised her hand. Her mother put her arm down but Malachi saw it already. "You, little girl, what's your guess?"

"Speed," she said proudly. Malachi nodded.

"Alright, you get a prize! You get to not get shot! Isn't that the great?" The little girl whimpered a bit. He laughed at her suffering. Oh, Artemis had made life one hell of a party sense she blew into town. One day he could never forget was the ketchup day….

_FLASHBACK_

_Artemis was eating her Freedom Fries made in China when she had a sudden realization. Her heart skipped a beat and fear began to overtake her. No….ketchup? She felt herself fly into a frenzy as she tore through the Temple and the village._

PRESENT

He shook his head, she was never the same after that day.

"Hey, let's have another game," he said, "I'll ask a question and someone answers. If you get it right you get to live. If you get it wrong….well, I wouldn't recommend getting it wrong….Let's start with our star student. Tell me little girl, how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" The little girl looked at him speechless. He smirked and aimed the gun at her.

"Wrong answer," he said. He went to pull the trigger but was tackled. Artemis watched the scene from the back seat trying not to laugh at the scene. Malachi was tackled to the ground by an older man and an old lady proceeded to beat him with her purse. It kind of sounded like she had bricks in her purse. Malachi fought his way up and took the purse from the little old lady.

She spin kicked him in the chest and he fell down again. The old woman took her purse and started to lecture Malachi on how it was wrong to steal things. Malachi swung at her but the little girl vicious jumped on his back and started biting him. Malachi tried to get her off by slamming her into the bus door over and over again until her mother jumped in.

Artemis couldn't hold it in much longer. She busted up with laughter at the scene. No one on the bus seemed to notice.

…………………………………………..

"I'm Tosha Bane, here at the Gotham City Bus Station where a bus was stole presumably by the Joker. They say a masked clown man has taken the bus hostage and planted a bomb in it! We have no news on the hostages just yet but it is rumored by a few people from the station that the Joker's daughter, Artemis Napier, was on the bus. She has been missing for almost a year now."

The Joker turned off the news and sat in silence. Harley looked at him in confusion. "But, puddin', you have been here all night, you didn't highjack the bus."

"I've been _framed_," he hissed.

…………………………………

Malachi was beaten almost to a pulp when they finally arrived back at the bus station. He went from the villain to the bus punching bag. Everyone wanted a piece of one of the Joker's circus clowns. Artemis walked off the bus with Malachi behind her. There were police cars everywhere. Malachi quickly removed the mask and the two walked by without being stopped or questioned with the baby in Artemis's arms. Of course they wouldn't, Artemis had no children, how could she be Artemis Napier?

Outside the bus station Artemis pulled out a remote with a single red button. She pushed it and the whole bus station went sky high. Joker cards rained from the sky. She felt a familiar smile form on her face as she cooed at the baby. She was home.

……………………………

Joey walked in and turned on the news. The Joker and Harley looked at him for a moment.

"This is Tasha Bane with news on the hostage situation at the Gotham City Bus Station. The bus did not have any bombs in it but the bus station did. It was just recently blown up. You can see behind me firemen are still trying to put it out. There were no survivors. When it blew up Joker cards fell from the sky."

"But we were here all night," said Joey, cocking his head, "when did you blow up a bus?"

"I, uh, _didn't_ blow up the bus."

"Oh, maybe a Circus fanatic," said Joey. The Joker's eyes darkened. It didn't matter if it was a fanatic or not someone was framing him. Sounds of Ivy and Catwoman where heard over the TV. The Joker rubbed his temples. Ivy and Catwoman where always fighting. Why, oh why, was he still working with those two? Scarecrow was okay, he minded his own business and didn't cause any unneeded conflict. But you put two women in the same room together and they will go at it like cats and dogs.

Finally he got up and left for his dark room. He needed to blow off some steam and this copy cat was just the way to do it. After he was done with the copy cat he would hunt down Artemis. She was at the bus station, she couldn't get too far.

……………………………………..

Batman watched as Gordon stood in the parking lot of an abandoned gas station. He had several S.W.A.T cars with him as well as GPD all ready to bust the Joker. Joey had kept them up with the location of the Joker over the last year and finally they were ready to bust him once and for all…..again.

Robin watched through a window as the Joker moved down what looked to be a basement. "Batman," he said pointing at the scene. Batman looked over and saw Catwoman and Ivy getting into a heated argument. By the looks of it a fight was about to break out. "The door in that room, the Joker went through it. Looks like he is in a basement of some type."

"Alright, let's move in. If the Joker doesn't come out when Gordon calls for him we are going in ourselves." Robin nodded and followed as they snuck around stealthily on the roof to the back. That is until Batman slipped off the roof and landed in a dumpster. Robin put his face in his hands. Why me God?

………………………………….

Artemis and Malachi arrived at the pawn shop she worked at just a year ago. It was September again and she stood in the same spot she did last September. They both walked in and Malachi looked around anxiously. "Boss," yelled Artemis. The manager came stumbling out and looked as if he saw a ghost.

"You," he yelled, pointing at Artemis, "I hired you and your dumbass friends out of confidence and you pay me back by not showing up to work on time!? You realize you are a YEAR late for work! Not to mention that last time you were here you let someone rob the place! You are _so_ fired!"

"Shut up, boss," she snapped, "listen, an emergency just came up."

"You got that right. The Joker just blew up a whole bus station and from what I hear you were there!"

"That isn't important. I need you to watch Devon here." She shoved the baby in his hands and the two left him standing there speechless. Why did he end up with all the weirdo's?

Joey had sent Artemis a message saying where they were hiding out. Artemis saw SWAT and GPD swarmed the place. Oh well, they were not the problem. The problem was the Joker. She needed to get rid of him. Luckily, sneaking around was what she and Malachi were trained for. They were trained as spies and it was already coming in handy.

Malachi spotted a basement window and nudged Artemis. He pointed at it and she nodded. Somehow they managed to get to the window without being spotted by Batman who was on that same roof, just on the far end. They heard a loud thump and looked over to see a young man about their age looking down at the dumpster. He wore a red costume with green boots and gloves and a black mask. Probably just one of Gotham's eccentric villains getting rid of a body.

Artemis kicked her shoe through the window and pried it open.

* * *

The Joker looked up at the sound of breaking glass and turned around to look at the far top window. Someone's foot was sticking in it and a hand with green and black nails was opening the window and about to climb in.

He slowly stood up and picked up his knife and stood just inches from the spot he landed the intruder would land.

………………………………………….

Artemis slipped in and landed on the floor. She looked at a pair of black shoes in front of her with purple pants attached to them. She then felt a rough hand pick her up and shove her against the cement wall. She looked into black eyes like hers. The Joker laughed as he put the blade up to her mouth. Artemis made no move.

"How bout a, uh, nice _Chelsea grin_ on that pretty fa-ce," he hissed. Artemis just laughed at him.

"How bout a nice boot in yours," she suggest. She then lifted her foot and kicked him in the face. The Joker stumbled back a bit. Malachi then decided now was a good time to slip in. He stood next to her ready to repay his debt if needed. The Joker stood up and laughed at her.

"You're a little more _feisty_ then I remember, doll," he said laughing. He lunged at her but stopped when he heard Gordon.

"JOKER! WE KNOW YOU ARE IN THERE! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP! I WANT JOKER'S CIRCUS OUT HERE TO! IF YOU FAIL TO DO SO WE WILL OPEN FIRE!" Artemis smiled at him slyly.

"Well, it's either me or yourself," she said. The Joker had to think about this one. If he stayed and killed his daughter the police would get him. If he ran away Artemis would run away and he would have a hell of a time finding her again. He could break out of the Asylum again but Artemis would still be gone. It wasn't looking good. He turned back around but saw that Artemis and her new friend had disappeared. Damn, that was a tragedy, he chose the better souding of choices and ran upstairs. He directed everyone into the basement and told them to leave out the window. The Joker was the first to come out and Scarecrow was the last.

After they had left Artemis and Malachi came out from behind a shower curtain that had a man tied down to a chair and gagged who looked to be begging them for help. Artemis and Malachi just sat on his lap with their feet up signaling to the man to keep quiet. Now that they slipped out the man started begging again.

"Don't worry," said Malachi, "we will get you out."

"First things first," said Artemis.

"I still don't know how this is going to help."

"I can't tell you. Haven't you ever noticed that when people tell about their plans it never works out? It's like jinxing yourself." Malachi just shrugged.

"If you insist." He grabbed her around the neck and hit her head into the wall but stopped before she slipped in a coma. He threw her on the ground like a rag doll. She looked like she was having the time of her life. She laughed in his face at his attempt to hurt her and decided to egg it on a bit.

"Ooo, let it all out! Ahahahhaha look at you go!" Malachi stabbed her in the leg with her own knife and broke her nose. He threw her in a corner and proceeded to mercilessly kick her in the gut. Finally she looked as if she could barely move anymore. She slowly lifted herself up and looked at the man that was already prisoner. She smiled at him. He had been to petrified to move.

The scene before him was shocking and unreasonable. Now she was smiling at him with that wicked grin. Her teeth were uneven and had holes drilled in them. Scars littered her gums and some of her teeth were sharper than others. She walked toward him and pulled him into the center of the room.

He tried desperately to beg her to leave him by but alas the gag was still in place. He felt a wave of relief when he saw that the girl was tying him to a chair back to back with him . She tied the two chairs together then went into a corner and huddled up trying to get the giggle fit out of her system before police came breaking in.

………………………………………………

Gordon signaled for his men to rush in. The SWAT followed them. As SWAT searched upstairs and kept guard outside, GPD and Robin went into the basement.

……………………………………

"The Joker and his Circus just ran out the basement," said Batman, "go help Gordon search for hostages, I'll capture them."

"No, wait," said Robin, "why can't I help capture the Joker!"

"There is no time Robin," argued Batman, "help them get hostages if there are any!"

"Hey, I told you that when we caught up to the Joker he was mine!"

"I'm not going to kill him! I'm just going to throw him in jail!" Robin sighed in frustration but left to help Gordon anyway.

…………………………………..

The first thing they spotted was Gordon's middle aged partner tied up and behind them a young man about 18. Robin then saw a girl lying on the ground badly beaten. Gordon rushed to help his partner and the young boy while Robin went to save the girl.

He lifted her head and her eyes drifted open slowly. Dark almost black eyes stared into his blue eyes. He felt his breath catch in his throat. "Oh," she said, "you saved me."

"Yea,' he said with a smile. He lifted her and followed Gordon and the other two out. He set her down in the ambulance and turned to leave when he felt her hand grab his arm. Robin looked around at the girl.

"Doesn't the hero always kiss the girl," she asked. He leaned in and made out with her for a good 20 seconds then quickly left. She smirked, she was a bad drug and the poor boy was hooked.

……………………………

Artemis was put in the hospital where she was bandaged and Gordon came to pick her up. "Okay," said Gordon, "I'm going to bring you to the station for some questioning. We have Michael there already. We just want to know what happened to you guys."

"Sure," she said with a warm smile, "anything to stop _him_ from getting to me."

"We are going to make sure that doesn't happen again," said Gordon with a reassuring smile. They road in silence the rest of the way. When they arrived Artemis was put in the familiar questioning room. She wasn't alone though; Malachi was there and the Joker. Artemis was set across from the Joker and the two locked eyes. The Joker was angry, very angry. Malachi could feel the tension in the air as he looked from father to daughter. Gordon took the seat across from Malachi.

"Someone mind telling me what is going on," asked Gordon. No one spoke. "Joker why do you relentlessly hunt her down and try to kill her?"

"I, uh, _didn't_ try to kill her. I have no idea where she has even been the last year."

"Oh you so blew up the bus station," argued Malachi.

"Michael, please," said Artemis, "what do you want with me Joker."

"Question is, sweetheart, what do you want with me, hmm? Is it revenge you're looking for? You _are_ the one who really blew up that bus station, weren't you?"

"I am not the same person I was a year ago," she said.

"No, you're not, you're much worse."

"How do you figure that," she shouted.

"Don't loose you're temper, doll, last thing we need is for the police station to go up in smoke."

"Why? You gonna blow this place up to?"

"Please don't," said Gordon, "we had a hell of a time fixing it the last time you did that."

"How do you know I don't have the place bombed already," asked the Joker.

"Because you were busy trying to blow me to hell," grumbled Artemis. Gordon rubbed his temples, they weren't getting anywhere, he knew it was a bad idea to put them in the same room together but Batman insisted.

"Well, it doesn't matter, we have a witness says he found Artemis in your basement beaten up," said Gordon. The Joker gave him a long hard stare. Robin then walked in.

"Who? Birdbrains? AHahahahahah," the Joker couldn't want to see this.

"I came down to help Gordon find the survivors and I found her in your basement," said Robin.

"Doctor says the wounds weren't self inflicted, Joker, how do you explain that," said Gordon.

"And why was this guy tied to a chair next to Gordon's partner," asked Robin. He looked over at Artemis who gave him a small smile and a wave and Robin blushed a bit. If Gordon wasn't there the Joker could choke Artemis to death right now. She was up to something.

"Artemis," said Gordon, "as I understand you go by a new name these days?" Artemis just nodded, "okay, to insure this no longer happens, Artemis you will have a legal name change. Joker you will be locked up in maximum security and you will never know Artemis's real name. We will erase anything and everything on her and you will never have a chance to harm her again. Now, Artemis if you will follow me, I will start the process and ask you a few more questions. I want the Joker locked up with no possible way out. No windows, only one door, a double padded lock, and two guards on patrol at all times."

Robin left, then Gordon with Artemis and Malachi behind him. Artemis looked back at the Joker and gave him the most twisted smile he had ever seen on her. He felt mixed emotions. He was furious, confused, humored, and proud of her all at the same time. Aw, his little girl was growing up.

"I'll get you for this, doll, I'll get out, hunt you down again, and you'll pay for this. I'm a man of my _word_," he said. Artemis just looked at him then left.

………………………………

Artemis Napier no longer existed. Now it was Amelia Esmeralda. She and Malachi stood on a beach where a ferry was getting ready to set off. Malachi watched her nervously. "Are you sure you don't want me to stick around for just a little while to make sure you are safe?"

"Malachi," she said stepping toward him, "You're debt is repaid. Gordon doesn't believe I can do any wrong, the Joker can no longer find me, I'm free as a bird."

"Oh, that debt," said Malachi. He remembered that day. It was the most uncharacteristic thing she had ever done seen her do. She was completely random and unpredictable, but to save someone?

_FLASHBACK_

_Malachi was on his knees before the old man. "Malachi," he said, 'you have broken the rules. You refuse to kill a man who is sentenced to death."_

"_I just don't understand why someone should die over some lousy bread," argued Malachi. The old man lifted his hand to silence him._

"_You have broken the rules and refuse to do as your elders command. For that I sentence you to death." Malachi found himself look at the ground in fear as he heard the sword leave the sheath. Was he really going to die like this?_

"_Wait," came Artemis from behind. Everyone stopped and turned around. Artemis came in wearing her purple long fleece coat and her hair was in a half sloppy bun. Her geisha instructor was close behind her._

"_Don't you have practice to get to," asked the old man irritated by the interruption._

"_Don't you have an old peoples home to die in," she asked defiantly, "but that's not why I am here." She lifted a burlap sack and pulled out what looked to be the thieves head. She threw it before the old man and he looked at it close. He nodded and signaled for his men to let Malachi go. The old man then motioned for Malachi to come to him. Malachi came forward and kneeled before his master and his master whispered to him._

"_You owe this young lady your life. You will go with Artemis Napier when she returns home and repay your life debt. Until then you are banished. When she sends you home you are welcome to come back if you wish."_

"_How do I do that," he asked._

"_You will find a way," said the old man smiling, "if it were anyone else I would say you are a very lucky young man. But judging by her reputation, well, let's hope you come home alive._

PRESENT

Malachi watched her as the ferry left. She looked content by the ocean. When they could no longer see each other Artemis turned to leave. First she went to her old boss's house to pick up her 'son'.

"So you disappear for a year, then come back and leave your kid with me, and now you are going to pick him and up and just up and disappear again? Where is Damian and Joey anyway?"

"Who knows," she said, "but I'm going to find out."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Well, with the Joker in jail they are probably going to cause havoc all across Gotham City."

"What does the Joker have to do with anything?"

"Never mind," she said, "just give me the kid back and I'll get the hell out of here."

"I don't have your kid," he snarled, "I took him to child services and guess what, you kidnapped that kid!"

"YOU DID WHAT!? DO YOU REALIZE THAT KID WAS A BACK UP PLAN!? WHAT IF GORDON FINDS OUT THE WHOLE STORY I TOLD HIM WAS A LIE!? I HAVE NOTHING TO FALL BACK ON NOW YOU DUMB SHIT!" She took out her switch blade and stuck it in his temple. He gasped, looked around, then fell to his death. Artemis pulled out her blade and left. She had to get that whiney brat back.

* * *

NEXT TIME:

Artemis, Batman and Joker fight it out

Damian and Joey will go on a mini adventure

Stolen from a scene in the movie, it will be an epic ending to a lame story!


	25. Blood is thicker than water

THE FINAL CHAPTER! DUN DUN DUN!

Chapter 25

Name: Officer Louis Gabe

Age: 35

Medical: Skitsophrenia

Subject to: hallucinations, delusions, D.I.D

Alternate: Joe Patterson, international jewel thief and master window washer

Yup the Joker had this all sorted out. As soon as Officer Gabe let Patterson do his job the Joker would find Artemis even if it meant tearing this town apart. He giggled at the thought of all the things he was going to do to Gotham and Artemis. The police were not always as thorough as they liked to think themselves to be. There was always a leak somewhere, it was just a matter of finding it, and his dear old friend Officer Ann Ramirez was first on his hit list. She lived a couple years to long anyway. How does someone betray you and then walk away alive? The Joker didn't understand people sometimes, the world was confused and he was just the one to put it back on track.

He heard the door opened and turned to see Officer Gabe/Patterson winking at him to signal that everything was in order just as the Joker wanted. The bomb was planted, Gordon was talked into going home for the night, batman and robin were nowhere in sight, and he managed to grab Artemis's new identity information. The Joker liked it when things went his way. Officer Ramirez walked in and sat at the desk to keep an eye on the Joker. She hated this job, it made her nervous, but she was one of the few surviving that had been up against the Joker before. It was time to put things in motion.

"Tell me officer," said the Joker, "do you regret it? Do you regret giving Gordon's family to _Har_vey? Hmm?" Ramirez just ignored him and did her paperwork. "Does, uh, Gordon _know_ it was you who gave them over?" She felt the corner of her mouth twitch but didn't reply. "How do you manage to sleep at night? I just sing to myself, puts me right to _sleep_, I don't even dream, that's the _best part_." Ann was growing impatient. He was getting harder to ignore now. "You know, I,uh, killed six of Gordon's partner's friends. He told me so. How many of _your_ friends did I kill?" She was close to losing it. What did he want from her? She knew what he wanted, he wanted her to screw up so he could get away. "You must have had friends at _some_ point? Is it that I killed them _all_ or do they just not want to play with you anymore?" It was true, they didn't want anything to do with her anymore and the Joker killed what friends she had.

Finally she got up and walked toward him. "Stop it," she demanded, breathing heavily. The Joker just laughed at her. She angrily hit the bars and walked away. She didn't even hear the ticking noise going on on the other side of the wall outside.

"Stop what," he asked innocently, "I just, uh, asked you a question."

"Stop talking," she snapped. He just shrugged his shoulders and started to pace the cell like a lion ready for the dumb zoo worker to open the cage and feed it. He loudly sighed causing Ann to break her pencil in half.

"You aren't near as much _fun_ as the other officers," he said with a fake pout.

"You're such a child," she grumbled. The Joker laughed at her again.

"Aw, you should be in touch with your inner child, makes life easier." She slammed both hands on the desk and got up.

"If you don't stop talking I swear I'll-"

"Open the cell door," he asked dangerously. She felt her face turn an angry red. She got up and marched over to him but just as she reached his cell the wall blew causing the ceiling to cave in unexpectedly. The Joker quickly ducked under the bed in the cell but Ann Ramirez was not so lucky. The roof came caving down on her and crushed her to death. The Joker slowly came out covered in saw dust and concrete dust. He smiled at his inside man's job. Gabe/Patterson gave him the files he asked for through the door and Ann's car keys. He took them and left down the highway not watching the road but reading the file.

First things first. He needed a way to lure his daughter to him. Surely something in here would give him a good idea. Then he found it. Supposedly Amelia Esmeralda was married with a baby. He had to find that kid.

* * *

Artemis looked up at the large building before. Gotham's Children's Home. How did they fit every orphan in Gotham in there? Judging by the crime rate there had to be hundreds! She looked at her watch, it was nearly midnight now, she had to make this fast before Batty Brains and the love sick Puppy that follows him everywhere appeared. She climbed up the wall quickly and quietly. She loved to climb!

After reaching what she assumed was the right floor she crawled in through the window and started reading name tags on the edge of the cradles. Finally she came across Devon Esmeralda but there was no Devon in the crib. Only a Joker's card. She picked it up and read it.

_Your old high school doll_

She growled in frustration. She quickly went back out the window leaving behind the Joker's card. How could he have possibly known where the whiney kid was?!

………………………………….

"Why did she kill him," asked Robin in disbelief.

"Because he obviously did something she didn't like very much," responded Batman.

"Are you sure it was her?"

"No," he responded, "I can't place her anymore. She says she turned away from crime, she didn't even look crazy last I saw her. But according to the police reports filled out by the manager laying dead here on the floor she stole the baby." Robin shook his head. There was no way such a sweet girl could possibly be evil! Still, if she was the link to the Joker, he had to find her. He needed to get his revenge.

They left for the Gotham Children's Home and went up to the floor where they kept the male babies. But when they walked in the crib was empty. Batman growled, no clues, no nothing!

"Batman," said Robin. Batman turned around and saw a card in Robin's hand. "It's a Joker's card. It says 'Your old high school doll'."

"We need to go look for her old records to find out where she went to school." Robin put the card in the baby's crib. He figured Amy, or Artemis, would want to find that if she found out where the baby was. Batman looked at the clock, it was early 9 pm still. They left and headed for the batcave to research what was left of Artemis Napier.

………………………………

Damien stood nervously in the school hallway. He didn't know what to do anymore. No one had seen Joey in weeks, the Joker figured he probably moved onto more hard core drugs, but Damien was not quite so sure. Not to mention that out of nowhere the Joker had shown up with a baby in his arms and said they were headed for his old high school. He was set in the security room to watch for Artemis and to let him know when she showed up. He didn't like this one bit. Now he had to choose between Artemis or the Joker. He wasn't sure how much more of the insanity he could take.

……………………….

Joey trudged down the dark alley ways he knew so well. He got a text from the Joker telling him to head out to Boring Town High. Curiosity took the better of him so he dropped the cat he was getting all cracked up and started back out to the main streets to find a taxi.

…………………………

"48.56," said the taxi driver.

"Hmm, a bit much isn't it," she asked.

"Look, lady, I gotta make a living."

"I see your point," she said. She pulled out her knife and stuck it in his chest. "Now you don't have to worry about it." She laughed wickedly and stepped out of the cab. She looked up at the school she had not seen in a year. It was as boring as ever. She walked in and climbed up to the roof. The Joker stood on the ledge with the baby in arms humming a carnival tune to him as he cried.

She made her way through the halls and found an emergency fire axe. Hmm, that could come in handy. She broke the glass and took the fire axe. Then she made her way up the roof to see a most unusual sight.

……………………………….

Batman quickly ran up the stairs followed by Robin. When they reached the roof the Joker was standing on the ledge with the baby in hand. He softly hummed a carnival tune to the crying baby. The Joker looked up and saw batman and robin. "Hmm, invitation only _batsy_," he snarled. Before batman could say anything Robin lunged at him. The Joker quickly moved and started running the other direction. He quickly handed the baby to Harley and told her to get out of there. Harley nodded then turned to leave. Batman tackled the Joker to the ground and the two started in on a wrestling match with Robin watching suspenseful.

Finally the Joker kicked Batman off of him and Robin got his shot in again. He kicked the Joker in the gut which only caused the Joker to laugh at him. Robin sat on top of him and proceeded to beat his face in. Finally Batman got Robin off of the Joker. The Joker spat a tooth out and started laughing hysterically at Robin. Robin shoved him over the roof but Batman quickly caught the Joker by the foot and attached him to the top of the school building. He hung upside down swaying back and forth laughing wickedly.

"This looks familiar," said the Joker, "brings back some good memories." He laughed some more. "This is the part where you tell me I'm going to jail."

"Not this time, Joker," said batman, "you're going directly to Arkham this time and you won't get away."

"Why did you save him," shouted Robin, "you should have let him fall!"

"Robin, you can't let hate and anger drive you. You need to do what is right even if it means doing what you don't want to do."

"He doesn't seem to care much," said a girls voice behind them. Artemis stood in the stairwell doorway in her purple pea coat, cowboy hat, blue corset, and long black pants. "Go ahead, do it, it's what you wanted isn't it? Revenge for your dead family."

"Don't listen to her, Robin, she is trying to twist you," argued Batman.

"Here's your shot, Pigeon Boy," said the Joker coldly.

"Go on and take it," said Artemis now getting closer to them. She seemed to be holding something behind her back that Robin was having a hard time ignoring. "You may not get a better opportunity then now."

"Robin, these two are liars and only want to hurt you," said Batman, "have I done either of those things to you?"

"Well, no, but-"

"But what," asked Artemis, "he tells you want to do and who can and can't kill, are you really going to let the bat push you around forever? Let a bird spread it's wings. Take what you want when you see it."

By this point Robin was extremely confused. Artemis saw she was getting nowhere. She slowly walked up to him in a catlike fashion until she was mere inches from his face. "Do it for me," she whispered.

"Robin don't let her get to you," shouted batman.

"Doesn't every hero want the girl," asked the Joker grinning. Robin slowly walked up to the cord that held the Joker up. It was a lot like a pulley system. It was stuck to the ledge, slung across the top of the metal pole holding up a light, and held the Joker up two feet from the building itself. He looked at the Joker grinning wildly at him. Then he looked at Batman who was shaking his head and Artemis who was smiling and nodding at him.

His eyes casted from the Joker to Artemis and back to the Joker. It was unmistakable. She was his daughter the resemblance was uncanny. "How do I know you aren't just like him, Amy," he asked quietly.

"Do I _look_ like him," she asked, a bit irked.

"Actually, doll, you do," said the Joker laughing. Artemis suppressed her smile. Laughter was not the right reaction if she was going to get what she wanted.

"Prove you're not like him," shouted Robin.

"Why should I," she argued.

"If you're anything like the man who killed my parents I don't want anything to do with you," he concluded.

"He killed my mother," she said as tears weld up in her eyes. Robin's breath caught in his throat. "I couldn't even tell you how it happened. My friends, people who I thought were friends, lied to me. None of them told me she was dead I had to find out from _him_." She had hatred in her voice at the last word.

"I-I'm sorry," he said looking down.

"Don't be," said the Joker, "the bitch had it coming." Robin's head whipped around he was suddenly reminded of the decision he had to make. Robin looked at Batman for answers. Batman just looked at him. This was a decision he had to make on his own.

"I can't help you," said Batman defeated, "I have told you what I can now you have to decide for yourself. Do you want to kill the Joker and go throughout your life hunting down more Jokers, or do you want to send him to jail?"

"That question was a little opinionated," argued the Joker.

"It was not," said batman, now in his Bruce Wayne voice.

"I hate to side with the Joker but he is right, that question was a little opinionated," said Artemis.

"What did I say that had any opinion attached it it?"

"You said 'Do you want to kill the Joker and go throughout your life hunting down more Jokers'," said the Joker imitating Batman. Artemis smiled and clapped and the Joker did a sort of upside down bow.

"That was surprisingly well done," said Robin, "do you take voice lessons?"

"No," he said, "just talented."

"Clearly," agreed Artemis, "so who else can you imitate?"

"I do Mickey Mouse at parties," he said.

"I want to here," said Artemis childishly.

"Robin will you kill the Joker or let him live already," shouted Batman getting rather tired of the crazy tom foolery that seemed to circle him for the last year.

"Fine," said Robin. He looked at his choices again and decided. "Rot in jail," he said.

He felt a sharp pain in the back of his head as he fell into darkness.

"I guess if you want something done right you have to do it yourself," snarled Artemis. She had hit Robin in the back of the head with the butt of the axe. "Now, _Ratman_, it's your turn."

"Bat's are mammals," he quickly said. Artemis stopped midstep.

"What," she asked.

"You're insult doesn't make any sense. Bat's are mammals not rodents."

"Go figure," said Artemis. She lifted her axe in a large half circle and brought the blade down toward batman. He quickly blocked out of the way. She swung the axe at him and he dodged it. Batman jumped on the ledge about to jump when he couldn't move! He looked down and saw the blade was holding his cape in place.

Artemis quickly climbed the ledge with a new blade in hand. She looked up and saw the cord holding the Joker up. She smiled at batman and brought the knife through it. The cord snapped and set the Joker plummeting to his death laughing wildly. Batman acted quickly and caught him again with another cord. Artemis gave him a sharp kick in the ass and he fell over the edge but not before grabbing her by the ankle. She fell down with them.

Batman threw the other end of the cord up to the ceiling were it grabbed hold of the ledge stopping batman and the joker.

Artemis continued to fall until she grabbed hold of the Joker's foot. Artemis hung to him tight and looked up. The Joker was hanging by his hands onto the cord that was attached to his arm. Batman had a hold of the cord attached to his handy dandy batbelt (buy your handy dandy batbelt at a store near you!).

"Okay, nobody panic," said Batman.

"Um, we _aren't_ panicking," said Artemis.

"I said stop panicking," said Batman, "now we will do this likes ants. Artemis you climb up then the Joker then I will follow, got it?" Artemis started swinging herself and the other three back and forth.

"Artemis knock it off," shouted Batman, "this cord can't hold all of us as it is we don't need you swinging it you're going to kill us!"

"Uh, I think you're the only one who has a problem with that one, batsy," said the Joker laughing. Artemis managed to get htem about three feet from the building. The rapidly came back to the building.

"Woah," shouted the three as they quickly crashed back into the building and through a window. Artemis was the first to climb in and started running for the door. The Joker came in running after her then Batman came in running after the Joker.

…………………………..

Damian watched all the action from the security room. He had a big bowl of popcorn, a soda, a couple joints, and a whole night of doing nothing but watching for Joey now that Artemis was found.

………………………..

Artemis quickly hid in her old locker. The Joker came skidding across the tile floor and hit a locker and ran passed where she hid. Batman came skidding across the floor also hitting a tile but ran in the opposite direction as the Joker had just run. When the doors closed it was silent for a long moment. Artemis was about to climb out when she heard a loud BANG.

She looked over and saw the Joker just a few lockers away with a sawed off shot gun shooting doors and singing?

"_Hush_ little baby, don't you cry, daddy's gonna sing you a _lullaby_….BANG" There went another locker, blown to pieces. "And if that song don't help you sleep, daddy's gonna get you a rocket gun." Rocket gun? That didn't rhyme with sleep, this song sucked.

BANG

Aretmis felt herself shrink a little, weather or not it rhymes doesn't seem to be his primary concern at that moment.

"And if that Rocket gun don't kill"

BANG

"Daddy's gonna make you a gasoline spill"

BANG

"And if that gasoline don't blow"

BANG

"Daddy's gonna give you a hangman's noose"

BANG

At least now it was rhyming.

"And if that hangman's noose should wreck"

BANG

Just one locker away now.

"Daddy's gonna break baby girls neck." Artemis was ready to get blown away but was shocked when the locker came swinging open. She was met with an unpleasant smile with rotting uneven teeth.

"Just for the record," she said, "I think I prefer the rocket gun." She kicked him in the chest and ran passed him. The Joker got up and ran after her once again. She was in the lunch room now. She looked around the large space and thought quickly. The singing continued.

"And if your wormy neck don't break, daddy's gonna throw you in a lake."

"God, does he never stop," she mumbled. She ran into the kitchen and slammed right into batman.

"Artemis," he growled angrily. Artemis quickly covered his mouth. He was about to protest when he heard the singing.

"And if that lake don't freeze you out-"

"We have got to get out of here," hissed Artemis.

"'We'?"

"Yes, _we_ cause if _we_ don't get out of here _we_ are going to die."

"And if that fish don't eat you whole," continued the Joker. Artemis and Batman looked back. Batman nodded.

"How do we get out of here?"

"AT the end of this kitchen is a fire exit. We go through it an alarm will go off." Batman nodded and pointed her to lead the way. Artemis ran for the door but a gun shot rang through the air.

Batman stood frozen as Artemis just stood there looking at Joey. Joey held Artemis's old pistol in his hand with smoking rising from the barrel now. The Joker quit his singing and quickly ran toward the gun shot. He shoved passed batman and caught Artemis as she fell just before she hit the ground. Artemis looked up at the Joker with tears in her eyes. The Joker slowly set her down.

"This is your fault," said Joey quietly, "if it were not for you we would all still be living our lives."

"SO YOU SHOT MY DAUGHTER," shouted the Joker. His voice was no longer the creepy high pitch it was before. It was low and octave and threatening.

"I freed her," he said. He put the gun down then turned and left.

…………………………

Damian quickly ran out of the security room only to be caught and thrown up against a locker. Robin was standing behind him with what looked to be a pair of hand cuffs. "No, stop, something bad has happened, please, Artemis! Please let me go!"

"Not a chance," said Robin, picking him up.

………………………….

Batman watched in a daze. The Joker quickly picked up Artemis and ran out the door. Joey walked off to an unknown place. Robin walked up behind him with Damian.

"I found him outside the security room," said Robin, "where is everyone else."

"Joey shot Artemis," he said quietly.

"What!? Where is she? Is she okay?"

"She will be," said batman slowly, "she is in good hands."

……………………………………….

That's all folks! THankyou to everyone who has reviewed in the passed and thankyou everyone for sticking with me! Sorry the story wasn't great but it was my first.


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